Have you ever been in such a stressful situation like mine?

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Earlier this year I was in both a desperate and and an exciting experience in my life (sounds strange I know). Desperate in the sense that I am attending my ill mom who's been in and out from the hospital for months. She's having a so-called complicated illnes I guess a year earlier. She had her heart enlargement condition for almost 15 years already but that doesn't really bothers us much because she has her regular medications and she gets well after a couple of times being confined in the hospital. What really worries us was her recent illness of Renal Failure, or the commonly known as kidney trouble or malfunction which eventually lead her to death. The exciting thing I was talking about was that I received my approved fiancee visa for the USA being petitioned by my husband (was then my fiance). I was scheduled to go to the US Embassy for my interview and Physical examination and will be waiting for just a couple of months to finally fly to the USA. Honestly I was in a mixed emotion......and was very confused. I felt I was in a tug-of-war.....feeling torned between two situations. My mom was still alive that time I had my approved papers for the USA. My heart melts every time I see her suffers in pain. I was the one attending her the most because of my availability both financially and physically and its very hard for me to imagine leaving her in that condition. But I have to go soon, otherwise my visa might expire and all the plans we had w/ my fiance will all gone to nothing. Well I still decided not to go....I explained to my boyfriend that I just can't leave mom w/ her condition. I even rebooked my flights for 2 times because she was again confined to the hospital but that was her last confinement.....after 3 nights in the Intensive Care Unit (where serious patients are treated) she finally gave up. It was a pain for all of us but I guess more pain in me and my father because I can no longer rebook my last flight anymore. The burial took place on Monday and I had my flight on Thursday. I left w/ a heavy heart knowing it would be hard for Dad lossing us both (although I'll just be in the USA) but still it means a long physical separation. Mom just being burried and I'll be leaving soon as well. Sometimes I still wonder how we made it? But this is life.....sometimes we have to make choices. Being bereaved and homesick almost distract me in evrything I was doing here in the USA at first....I must be made of steel...but am not. Am still human and i had my share of depressions at times...but again that's life....."you take the joy you take the sorrow" as the song goes.