I Need Your Advice Please... I really dont know what To do!!!
By Gwapako_28
@Gwapako_28 (2140)
Philippines
November 10, 2008 9:18pm CST
I have a new friend. And even we just know each other for a month now, but i can feel our closeness and we are like sisters. She told me about her life and about her boyfriend. I know that she is so much inlove and she trust her bf 100%.
Now, she is pregnant and i dont even meet her bf. So i told her who is the real name and where did her bf live. Then finding out that her bf is my close friend brother.
I call my friend and tell her that her brother gf who is my friend also is pregnant. Then i found out that her brother got another gf and they have a baby girl already which is 3 months old and they are living each other already.
Now, i dont know what to do... I feel so bad about it and i am very much affected for my friend situation... I dont want to hurt her feelings but i guess, no matter how i tried, it is her right to know the truth no matter how painful it is...
I am just worried because she is pregnant and i dont know if she can take the pain of knowing what is really happening between her and her bf...
3 people like this
9 responses
@roselynm1023 (950)
• Philippines
12 Nov 08
hi!
i guess the best thing to do with the situation is ask your friend about her plan. is she telling the father of the baby that she is pregnant? is she telling her bf about her pregnancy? ask her it is her who can decide.
with regards to the information that you know better to keep it confidential until the time that she herself finally found out. i know its very difficult on your part to be in this situation but you have to be at safe side also. dont trigger the fire be the mediator. just maintain your friendship with the girl because this is the time that she most need a friend.
be blessed!
@miamhae (339)
• Philippines
11 Nov 08
Its really hard situation, but your friend need to know the truth. Its better to feel a pain rather than make her stupid ignorance, its was her boyfriend do on her. You are her friend, if she became depress that it would happen if she know, be there for her, she needs you and tell that its better to know early rather than later, that's make her feel more pain, because everybody's know about her boyfriend situation except her.
@rsa101 (38166)
• Philippines
11 Nov 08
That is really hard to be in that situation. I guess now is not the right time for her to know as she is in the middle of pregnancy. It is hard to know what would be her reaction once she knows this. But find some time where you and her could find the time to really talk about it calmly but she has the right to know this things.
1 person likes this
@annjilena (5618)
• United States
11 Nov 08
oh my goodness she has a right to know the truth he should have been up front with her in the first place this woman is going to be distort when she finds out iam sorry she will have to go through this it,s a good possiblity he will not leave his girl friend he was just playing the field and in the process she will be hurt.tell her so it can get out in the open better to know now then later.
1 person likes this
@vijigopi (991)
• United States
11 Nov 08
I would first make sure that both of you are talking about the same man... you know.. Get his photo and stuff like that. Then if you still find out that your friend's bf is cheating, and she doesn't know about it, I would suggest finding out about your friends' health if she would be able to stand the shock. It is generally better not to say it during pregnancy because the baby will also suffer the pain along with the mother. Is the man taking responsibility for the pregnant baby? If so, I guess you can wait atleast till the baby is born. If not, I guess your friend might be having a hitch he's cheating on her. Or you can ask your friend what to do by making up the same story for someone else she does not know about. Then you will know what she will feel in the same situation and you can take action according to that. Whichever course you are taking, just pray to God before you do it so that He gives you and your friend the strength to go through this.
1 person likes this
@Linda4ualways (2282)
• United States
11 Nov 08
Wow gwapako! That is a bad situation to be in. It is called "Damned if you do, damned if you don't" meaning that if you tell her it will hurt and if you don't tell her and she finds out that you knew all along she will still be hurt. I do feel that she should know and then leave it up to her to decide where to go from there. I mean she is pregnant with his child so she shouldn't be left in the dark. I wish your friend the best and you as well. Take care and God Bless!
1 person likes this
@creative_angel312 (390)
• United States
11 Nov 08
I don't think you should tell her, because it is not your place to tell. If you let on about this situation then it will just cause her embarassement in front of you, and the pain that she feels will be blamed on you. Even though you had nothing to do with it. In the end it will just put a strain on your friendship. The only thing you can do is to try to expose him somehow without letting her know that you already knew. and also be there for her in her time of need, and to make sure she doesn't do anything to hurt herself or the baby. I'm sorry to hear that this is happening to your friend. I wish the best!
1 person likes this
@ladysakurax (1161)
• Canada
11 Nov 08
urgh this is a hard situation to solve. Let's call your pregnant friend miss A and your other friend who's brother is sort of cheating miss B. Before you tell miss A, what does miss B think about all of this? Since both of you are close to each other, you can give you her opinions and you can help each other. But overall, I agree with you that soon or later miss A should know the truth. And her bf also needs to know that she is pregnant with him. After that, you should leave her to deal with her things and not interfeer. If she asks your help then you can give her guidance and advices but if she doesn't ask anything, don't meddle in this. Maybe for being polite and to be considerate you can ask her if she needs help. Just try to support her and be positive with her without getting into her personnal things unless she seeks your help. But her bf has to take responsability somehow. goodluck and i hope things will get better
1 person likes this
