Forgive and forget-easier said than done

I do not know about siblings as but I do know about children. My daughter stole from me while I was seriously ill. She put two of my dogs to sleep after I was in the hospital for 6 day, also bought $18,000.00 worth of jewelry from QVC on my visa card, then systematically cleaned out my bank accounts. Her excuse was that I was "supposed" to die so why wait until she inherited my assets. I did forgive her as my faith tells me to let the Lord deal with her. Sadly she took that for thinking I was an easy touch and continued to try and steal from me. Even going to far as to try and stop my release from the physical rehab nursing home in was in for 4 months. So IMO forgive yes but forget NEVER!

hi meme, i am sorry to hear about your relationship with your siblings.. i think the fact that your are still in contact (every once in awhile email).. shows that there is hope.. if talking to them is awkward.. then short emails would just be fine.. jokes, short stories - even forwarded emails would work just fine, i think.. just add in a short comment of your own, for a bit of 'personal touch'.. i think... over time.. when you are ready.. the comments will become longer.. and who knows.. you might be actually writing mails to each other.. i always believe that saying 'blood is thicker than water'. good luck!!

its true. its easier to say than done. it needs lots of gratness and patience. But the angers must be controlled also,.

Me too. I could forgive someone but to forget is a hard thing to do. I don't know, but this is me. It's just like a lesson learned from such experience. I would not forget the past because it would become part of my present and future. From this, I would apply what I have learned in life. Is it not right? What do you think? Am I wrong for this?

hi meme, i am sorry to hear about your relationship with your siblings.. i think the fact that your are still in contact (every once in awhile email).. shows that there is hope.. if talking to them is awkward.. then short emails would just be fine.. jokes, short stories - even forwarded emails would work just fine, i think.. just add in a short comment of your own, for a bit of 'personal touch'.. i think... over time.. when you are ready.. the comments will become longer.. and who knows.. you might be actually writing mails to each other.. i always believe that saying 'blood is thicker than water'. good luck!!

You're right that we need to forgive, but God never said forget. I've forgiven my father for things he's been accused of doing to my sister in the past because I needed to in order to grow personally in my faith. But forgetting would be irresponsible because it could mean putting my children in a position of danger. So forgive over and over and over again, but you don't have to forget. What's wrong with calling and just simply saying, "I called simply to say I love you." You don't have to have a long drawn-out conversation. You can try first in an e-mail. It's much less intimidating. If you're going to move past this, you have to allow yourself to be vulnerable to rejection and heartache. But I'm betting they're going to want to build a relationship up again with you as well, especially if you're letting bygones be bygones and trying to move on. Starting over is hard and of course it's going to feel awkward. New relationships are awkward. But with time, things become more confortable as the relationship builds up again. you'll always have that empty feeling if you don't at least take that first step in contacting them and at least trying. And maybe they don't call beacuse they feel the same awkwardness you do. Maybe they're scared to. Keep praying about it. I hope you can be at peace with your family situation soon, whichever way it goes. God Bless!

I feel the same about my Sister she was born after I left home and had kids of my own. Now very hard to talk to her IF she ever answers her phone or calls back. She dont email If you wait for them to call they probably wont , put a hard shell on and take the chance again! Guess talk to them like starngers to get to know them again. Me I call my brother and sis on thier birthdays! my brother has got where he calls me on mine now and we email each other some times. I send him jokes and he keeps me up dated on our mom and how things are going up there.

I find it easier to rekindle lost relationships in e-mail instead of over the phone. That way you can say what you want or need to say without hearing their immediate reaction, and also gives them time to think over what they want to say back. If they don't want to speak to you or hear from you, then they can just ignore your e-mail or not respond. But if you get a response then that's a good sign and you can work to rebuild your relationship with them.

I am new here and also I am unfamiliar with your plight. However if you find it in your heart to forgive someone that is up to you but you cannot forget what happens as others here say that would be foolish and open yourself up for a dangerous repeat of abusive behaviour directed against yourself. I hope you have other family that are normal and you have a good relationship with. All you can do at this point is to send cards at Christmas and birthdays, and give short phone converstions that you were thinking about them and wondering if they were doing ok. You can only control what you do and think, not other people.

Forgive but no one ask you to forget. It might sound as if the two words are together but their not. Forgive and forget is a two hard thing to do. It all takes time. Forgiving takes time, so is forgetting. Its not something that you've taught and will actually do when you wake up in the morning. The more pain/hurt you've became the more hard forgetting is. Take one step at a time. Although its awkward try to attend the Holiday's dinner. Its hard for you, it might be also hard for them. Your family. its much easier(as they say) to heal with them. Observe them, If they really regret that mistake and if they try to change for the better of your family. Again, things really depends on how you feel. If the is still fresh and still bleeding, just stay put and try to heal yourself. Alone if that what you want.