Is adoption a burden?
@PrincessKitten (790)
United States
16 responses
@TheCatLady (4691)
• Israel
11 Dec 08
Burden? She's insane. People spend 10,000 to 20,000 dollars or more to adopt a baby form another country because there aren't enough healthy children available for adoption in most western countries. I have a friend who flew to China to get a baby. The little girl is wonderful. Her parents don't consider her a burden. She's the light of their life. I've met her and she's a great kid.
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@TheCatLady (4691)
• Israel
12 Dec 08
I couldn't find her post. But any way a child is only a burden if it's unwanted and unloved. If someone goes to all the trouble and expense to adopt, then the child is very much wanted and won't be a burden.
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@PrincessKitten (790)
• United States
11 Dec 08
TheCatLady,
In post #9, Photographygirl73 made an interesting point that if the woman saw the child as a burden, everyone else would too.
My pastor is a foster parent who is always getting different foster kids on the weekends (and whenever he can). There are so many children out there, why doesn't anyone want those?
Thanks
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@cyntrow (8523)
• United States
11 Dec 08
That's stupic. I haven't read the other responses, which is unusual for me, but here is my reply. Her mistake is some else's miracle(sp). I can't speak for myself. If I go off the pill and the wind blows I get knocked up. LOL. But the ability to raise a baby for people who cannot concieve is a miracle. That's not to take any thing awy fromm women who chooose abortion. But with the topic, a woman who doesn't want to raise a child should choose abortion or adoption; whatever she feels she can physically handle.
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@PrincessKitten (790)
• United States
14 Dec 08
cyntrow,
Nicely put!
You idea can be summed-up as: "One woman's mistake is another family's miracle"
I like it. I think I'm going to start a campaign!
Thank you!
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@AngelNicki (412)
• United States
18 Nov 08
I highly doubt very many adoptive parents view their child as a "burden." First of all, it doesn't really make sense. You cannot accidentally adopt a child. People who adopt children have to go through a long, cumbersome process, often pay a lot of money, etc, because they want so badly to be parents. So when they do find themselves with a child, I can't see how they would think of that child as a burden! More like a blessing!
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@PrincessKitten (790)
• United States
4 Dec 08
AngelNicki,
Good point...that noone can "accidentally" adopt a child.
In the weeks since I first posted this question, I have begun thinking that I may want to adopt a child in the future, so I requested some information on becoming an adoptive parent. There's a lot to it! I'm not even sure what the cost is going to be yet, but I might want to start saving-up now!
Happy MyLotting!
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@rachaelshoe (99)
• United States
11 Nov 08
i was adopted but im not sure if i was a burden the adoptive parents wouldent adopt you if you were going to be a burden
@PrincessKitten (790)
• United States
4 Dec 08
rachaelshoe,
Good point.
As another responder noted, adoptive parents need to go through a lot to get a child to love and after all that trouble and expense, one would hardly think that the child would seem a burden to them.
Happy MyLotting!
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@j47lee (740)
• Canada
11 Dec 08
Calling a child a mistake is wrong.. Maybe she should have put the child for adoption.. at least the person who gets the child will love the child like their own..... why to have a child wen u wont be able to love the child .... at least give the chance to ppl who doesnt have a baby.. they will take better care of the child.. give them a life of happiness and love...
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@PrincessKitten (790)
• United States
11 Dec 08
j47lee,
I completely agree with you!
A lot of people think that Pro-choice is equivalent to pro-abortion, but it's not. Adoption is a choice too.
Happy MyLotting!
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@wheel416 (1019)
• Canada
11 Dec 08
If a young woman finds herself pregnant with a child that she did not plan for and is not prepared to take care of, she should definitely place her child up for adoption.
The individuals and couples who are interested in adopting babies and children want to do so because of a few reasons, They may not be able to have children of their own, they may have children of their own and feel that they have more to give, and so adopt a child that has been less fortunate, or they may have grown children and wish to help an older child, who could use a little extra love and guidance.
An adoptive parent is making a choice to assume the responsibility for a child that is not theirs, and as such I believe that they will be in a much better position emotionally, physically and financially then perhaps a birth mother could be to raise the child.
If a young woman unexpectedly finds herself pregnant she may feel overwhelmed and feel that she got herself into this situation and now she has to be the one to take the responsibility for the baby. I think that if she veiws the child as a mistake and a burden in the first place, she probably shouldn't be a parent. A child did not have any part, in their being brought into the world, and should not feel as if they are a burden to their parents.
I believe that one of the most unselfish things a woman can do, is to recognize that she is incapable of caring for a child properly and as such, gives that baby up to someone who is better equipped. The child is more likely to feel a burden to a parent who is overwhelmed, stressed and financially unstable, then a parent who in essence says "you are not mine, but I will love you as if you were, I want you to be a part of my life."
When a woman shows the courage to give her child up for adoption because she knows she cannot care for it, perhaps, that is the greatest show of love one can ever give.
@PrincessKitten (790)
• United States
11 Dec 08
wheel416
That's exaclty the way it SHOULD be but I've noticed in various discussions that the birthmother is painted as some sort of selfish/evil/immoral person. She could have just as easily had an abortion but chose life, so she is scorned for it.
What kind of sense is that?
Thanks!
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@suspenseful (40193)
• Canada
11 Dec 08
I hope you see this young woman and give her this message"
Do you think the God closed the womb of many women because they are going to be bad mothers? Maybe they had a genetic disease and God wanted them to be spared the sorrow of watching their birth children die young. Maybe they made a mistake, slept with the wrong guy and got VD, but however they were unable to bear children, God did not take out the "love child gene" and did not turn them into baby and child haters."
Adoptive parents love their the children they adopt. They wish they had gone through the pain of childbirth, and the agencies make sure that only those who truly love children are allowed to adopt.
I really hate it is when some girl decides that because I was incapable of bonding or loving a child that is not from my womb.
@annjilena (5618)
• United States
11 Nov 08
adoption is no more a burden if you had that child yourself you have to remember these children is in need of a home someone to love and care for them if this is not for that person please i urge you don,t get involved my son i adopted is not a burden to me he like any other child there is no exception he too do things wrong he is not perfect but to say he is a burden is a bit much to me.i love my son whoever had him i want to thank them because i have no regret of adopting my son.
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@maximax8 (31047)
• United Kingdom
11 Dec 08
There are many loving prospective loving adoptive parents out there that wouldn't consider a son or daughter a burden but the best thing that will happen to them. Some couples try and try to have a baby of their own but fail. Adoption is a beautiful thing for them in that case. Many children want a loving family to live with that don't have parents. An adoptive mother and a child in need of a home makes two pieces in a jigsaw puzzle. Rather than abort I wish many ladies would give their child up for adoption.
@lovelyvelle (639)
•
26 Nov 08
If I were a mother and have difficulties in raising my own child, I would want her to be adopted to have a better future I don't think it can be burden for someone who is willing to adopt my child as it is their choice. But that's good if she will do her best to raise her own child and not to be adopted. Everyone has it's own views about child adoption, so that's her choice.
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@zalilame (880)
• Malaysia
11 Nov 08
For me having a child is a blessing regardless of legitimate or not. They are not the one that made the mistake. So they shouldn't be a burden. As for the mother, if having a child is too much of a responsibility, she should be thinking of giving her child to be adopted. But I would give a thumb up to that woman because she was brave enough to take up such task.
@jiffin4java (97)
• United States
11 Nov 08
Well, if you (you in general, not you specifically) view your child as a mistake you probably shouldn't be raising him anyway! Absolutely, place him for adoption and allow a family who will love him unconditionally and value him as a blessing and a gift from God raise him. My son was not planned, but he was definitely wanted and was NOT a mistake. Adoption is NOT a burden at all.
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@wrangel15 (1443)
• Philippines
11 Nov 08
I'm thinking that if you find your child a burden, how much more to those who will be adopting it. It is an irresponsible act to have children and just let them be adopted by someone else.
@janet8893 (283)
• China
11 Dec 08
I wouldn't consider this if i am in the situation. If i were a mother, i would love my children than myself and i'll miss him/her everyday if he/she is adopted by someone.
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