If you plan to give gift to someone, do you ask what he/she wants?
By Bebs08
@Bebs08 (10681)
United States
November 11, 2008 11:29am CST
My friend called me last night, and ask me what I want for a gift? Oh!! I did not say anything for a minute. 
Of course if I will give her a list of what I want, she might be broke 
[em] I keep on thinking for a minute. Then she ask, do I need shoes, dress, perfume? I almost said, yes I need all of those hahahaha... But I don't want to be opportunist. This friend is always asking every time she gives something because she wants to be sure that the recipient would be happy of what she will give. I finally think of a bag for casual use.. hhahahaha.
I then realize that she is right of doing that because there are many people who received gifts they don't like to have but because it was given they are force to accept it unhappy. It is also rude to give back to the one who give it because you simply don't like it?
what about you? do you ask what kind of gift you are going to give? or you just search what the recipient would like to have? Or just give anything? this is my problem when it comes to gift giving.
want to share? I am curious to hear!!
Of course if I will give her a list of what I want, she might be broke [em] I keep on thinking for a minute. Then she ask, do I need shoes, dress, perfume? I almost said, yes I need all of those hahahaha... But I don't want to be opportunist. This friend is always asking every time she gives something because she wants to be sure that the recipient would be happy of what she will give. I finally think of a bag for casual use.. hhahahaha.
I then realize that she is right of doing that because there are many people who received gifts they don't like to have but because it was given they are force to accept it unhappy. It is also rude to give back to the one who give it because you simply don't like it?
what about you? do you ask what kind of gift you are going to give? or you just search what the recipient would like to have? Or just give anything? this is my problem when it comes to gift giving.
want to share? I am curious to hear!!13 people like this
88 responses
@Bryanwu (47)
• China
12 Nov 08
If i want to give gift to my friend,the first thing i think is that whether such kind of thing is useful for my friend.If we are close friend,i will know what he/she need,and i shall give what he/she need if it is possible.I think it's very important to give the right present.But if you don't know what your friends like,you'd better observe first.If you really don't know what your friends like,just ask them.It won't effect your friendship.
@KaMlBob (786)
• United States
11 Nov 08
I will usually listen and see what the person shows interest in, whatever it may be. Like if they say something such as " My crock pot is too small or getting old...". If I know an event is coming up like a birthday or Christmas, I investigate and keep an open ear...
@Bebs08 (10681)
• United States
12 Nov 08
Wow!! I like that idea too. That is a very thoughtful way of giving gifts that am sure the one who will receive it would be happy. I can imagine that they will hug you for joy or they might jump with gratefulness in their hearts because of your thoughtfulness.
1 person likes this
@bestboy19 (5478)
• United States
12 Nov 08
I don't give gifts anymore, but when I did, I always liked to give gift cards. When you give a gift care, they get to choose for themselves what they want.
2 people like this
@Shar1979 (2722)
• United States
11 Nov 08
There had been times that I would ask my friends or my siblings what they want as gift. I think it would be better that way so my gift won't be in waste to them. It would be nice to give what they really want. Something that they can use.
2 people like this
@patgalca (18394)
• Orangeville, Ontario
12 Nov 08
Yes it is good if you can ask them what they want and they give you a couple of options, then it would still be a surprise. People are always asking me what they should get for my kids. I tell them a couple of ideas and they take it from there.
@chezze (56)
• Philippines
13 Nov 08
Personally, Im always at a crossroads in choosing the best gift on the best budget to a lot of my friends. What I usually do is research...research...and a lot of research. I want to give a gift that would be useful to that person but it would be a thing that she/he wont think of buying for himself/herself. I have always been the recepient of gifts which i cant use and which added clutter to my closet. And I know that its difficult to be joyful and be thankful for a gift that you dont like but have to pretend the opposite for fear of causing unhapinness to the giver.
@patgalca (18394)
• Orangeville, Ontario
12 Nov 08
I was just asked the same thing. I am the secretary for my writing group so I do a lot of work. At Christmas they always give me a gift. Two years ago they gave me a gift card to one of the online book stores. Last year they didn't have time so they just gave me cash. This year my daughter's school is selling gift cards as a fundraiser so the "President" of our writing group told me to pick which one I wanted and order it. She will be giving me money from the group's account but I am actually ordering my own gift.
My husband doesn't always know what to get me for Christmas. I give him a list but the last couple of years I have purchased stuff for myself and put it in his cupboard for him to wrap and give to me.
Honestly, I wish my mother would stop giving me gifts. She gives me money plus a little something. The little something usually isn't really something I want or need. I would rather she add the few dollars onto the cheque.
She will be giving me money from the group's account but I am actually ordering my own gift.
My husband doesn't always know what to get me for Christmas. I give him a list but the last couple of years I have purchased stuff for myself and put it in his cupboard for him to wrap and give to me.
Honestly, I wish my mother would stop giving me gifts. She gives me money plus a little something. The little something usually isn't really something I want or need. I would rather she add the few dollars onto the cheque.
2 people like this
@Bebs08 (10681)
• United States
13 Nov 08
hahaha!! you make me laugh with that something you buy and let your husband wrap it and give it to you? I like you because you are really honest of what you want. yea, like that of your mom, she might be hurt if you will refuse that something she give on top of the money.Some old folks are sensitive when it comes to that matter. But how can you tell her not to give you that something you don't really like that she would not be hurt? Oh!! that's tough!!
@quinnkl (1667)
• United States
12 Nov 08
If I am not sure what the person wants, I will usually ask someone close to them what they like. At holidays, we have always made lists in our family because it is so hard to know what everyone likes and how they have changed, etc. I think it is cool that she asked what you would like. I would have been hesitant to say anything too, but at least she was making the effort.
2 people like this
@Bebs08 (10681)
• United States
13 Nov 08
yes, I was so hesitant to say what I want, I even have a hard time deciding? hahahaha but finally I ask for a bag.. she gave me bag last year too. Anyway, this friend gives me lots of things, from dresses to shoes, blouses, pants, a lot more hahahaha..but before she will give that, she would ask me if i want it...I never refused though
@lazeebee (5461)
• Malaysia
12 Nov 08
If the person is a very close friend, I would ask her what she would like to have, and sometimes I might even tell her what I can afford. So she can let me know her needs within my budget.
Other than that, it's sometimes safer not to ask; especially if they tell me they want something beyond my budget, I would regret having asked.
@magojordan (3252)
• Philippines
12 Nov 08
It really depends if I know that person well or not. If I don't know that person well I asked them what do they usually like but that doesn't mean I will give them the gift they want. It could be related in one way or another. I remember one time when we had exchange gifts in class,I picked someone who I don't know so I asked her what are her favorites, she just said yellow, so I gave her a Pooh keychain because it's yellow and it suits her personality.
@pamfloyd51 (136)
• United States
12 Nov 08
I think the best thing to do is get them a gift card, then they can buy whatever they want. As far as what I do with a gift I don't like, I ususally give it away, but I know someone who puts every gift they don't like in a closet & give it out as gifts to other people. I can't decide if that is right or not? If the person is a real close friend or relative, I don't see anything wrong with asking them what they want. I would rather give something I know they need, if I am not getting a gift card from a store. pamfloyd51
@ravitejareddy (101)
• India
12 Nov 08
I never ask them.Try to know what they are intestested in and give a gift
2 people like this
@clover1308 (58)
• Australia
12 Nov 08
Hi bebes08! It's nice to have such a nice friend like your friend. lol I wish I have one like yours. Kidding! I'm the kind of person who always give without asking what they like but I try to observe what my friends like, how they dressed, what they need, their age, or try to remember what they like, their personalities so I just guessed and try to give using my own opinion. But for some closed friends and for some occasion like wedding, I would prefer to ask the person straight away what they actually needs. That way, I can buy something that they really need it for which always been good. I like people use what I had given them for example, I will be very happy to see my best friend wears the dress that I bought her to an event. It shows that she really likes it and appreciate what you has given her. I think it's really sweet
@rachaelshoe (99)
• United States
12 Nov 08
i ask some friends the theres the ones who will tell you what they want but they arnt exact so it might be wrong will i give them a gift card for or near that amout so they can get it them selfs or maybe somethig else.. its hard for me to tell people what i want no one can shop for me im picky when it comes down to it
2 people like this
@sweetpeasmom (1325)
• United States
11 Nov 08
I sometimes do , but most of the time i just watch what they do and how they act when they see something and i go from there. I have never came out and asked someone what they want.
2 people like this
@Bebs08 (10681)
• United States
12 Nov 08
hahaha!!! I did for the little kids.. like my nephews and nieces but not for the older ones. It's kind of awkward? what if they will demand something that i can't afford to buy? hahahah.. it;s embarrassing when they would say, why asking when you can't afford?
1 person likes this
@checapricorn (16061)
• United States
11 Nov 08
[i]Hi Bebs,
wow..that's cool! LOL! I have never tried any of my friends doing that but my Sis used to since she knows that I am quite choosy! LOL! Anyway, we are very close so that is why I am very open to her if ever I didn't like very much what she's giving me....especially talking about clothes...I have no problem with other stuff! LOL!
ANyway, I have never tried asking also, I just observe them, what they like and from that, I will decide what to get and most of the time, I am seeing my family, relatives and friends using the things I am giving to them, so, great indication! LOL!
ENjoy![/i]
2 people like this
@Bebs08 (10681)
• United States
12 Nov 08
Hi Che, Glad to see you again LOL.. well, I sometimes ask if they are kids like my nephews and nieces but did not try to adults.. hahah even to my sister, I remember once, I ask but I presented items for her to choose from,, LOL I just want to be sure that I can afford to buy it, so then she can't choose other than what i presented to her. hahaha... but only for my family not to other people. That is why I am having a hard time deciding when i give gifts to others, specially if to my boss or co-worker. LOL
so then she can't choose other than what i presented to her. hahaha... but only for my family not to other people. That is why I am having a hard time deciding when i give gifts to others, specially if to my boss or co-worker. LOL1 person likes this
@zandi458 (28102)
• Malaysia
11 Nov 08
I normally don't ask as it is suppose to be a gift and what ever the giver gives should be appreciated as it is the thought that counts and not the cost of the gift. What and how I choose gifts depends on what occasion is the gift for and the gift should relate to the occasion then it will be more meaningful.
@suruchi86 (1873)
• India
16 May 09
It depends. If I'm sufficient close and informal to that person, I'd surely ask, otherwise I'll give a gift of my choice.
1 person likes this
@Bebs08 (10681)
• United States
19 May 09
I think you have a good idea. But most people want to give surprise gift which is not good sometimes because the recipient do not like it and they are not happy to have that kind of gift. That is why others just give gift card so that the recipient can select what he/she wants.
@kerriannc (4279)
• Jamaica
11 Nov 08
Whenever I am buying gift for someone I will ask a friend to investigate what that person would like discreetly. As you say it is not nice to buy something for someone and that person becomes disappointed. Doing this to me is always the better choice.
2 people like this
@silverjam (969)
• United States
11 Nov 08
often times I don't. This is so because I want it a surprise...well I like surprises mostly. But what I usually do is getting the information in a very "subtle" way.....one that provides me a clue as to what one likes most or what interest them. I may not be able to buy or give the exact item they wanted to have but am sure its closer of what they like and they are still thankful for it.
I just recently giving gifts (in form of packages) to my family in the Philippines and I was buying thingas I think are appropriate for each one of them. Even just now I can see the smiles of their faces once they got to open it....hmmmnnnnn, sounds pressuming huh!
2 people like this
imagining the smiles of their faces is quite inspiring.