spank

I spank my 9yr old only for his studies. There is a general agreement between us on what type of food he likes and what types he has to eat. We have found a compromise formula by which I have to make some of his favourite dishes thrice or four times a week and he in turn has to have something from a list of must-have foods daily. Till now we have managed to survive without any major war on this issue.

I don't thing it would be okay to spank your child if she does not eat properly. Emotionally there could be some side effects. I think you could go for some reward and incintive program. I am sure that she does like a certain kind of food. So this could be your way. You can tell her to eat healthy foods or the foods that you prepare and in turn she can have her favorite food.

I don't know if it's okay or not and I won't say that I do not spank my kids. But I've never spanked for eating. Touch wood...never had a problem on the eating front with my older one...and only a few times with my younger one. But spanking wouldn't work anyways....he will just get more stubborn. I'd rather ignore it than spank...or maybe figure out other ways to get the food in.

Well I would not encourage parents from spanking their children to enforce something they need to do. I think the best would be words of encouragement rather than putting fear in her just to force her to eat. In my case I do have an underweight child but never did I enforce him to eat by inflicting fear on him. It is somewhat hard at times but he has already gained weight because he much appreciated that we parised him for doing a good job in his eating habit.

I'm not sure about spanking her for eating. I think that for eating issues, it may be more helpful to try a variety of foods. Most kids that age have food issues, don't they? But spanking as a punishment in general does not bother me, even though most people around here think it's a bad thing to do. I think there is a wide range of discipline techniques that can properly be used. I have seen spanking used wrongly though, just out of anger on the parent's part which i do not like. If spanking happens, I don;t think it should be done from anger, and should not be done too hard.

I do not believe in beaten kids but sometimes it becomes necessary, but still I try much to avoid beating them

Personally I would rather seek an alternative to spanking because in time the child will start to associate food with physical punishment and will begin to rebel even more every time they have meals put in front of them. Two approaches that I have seen work very effectively were to involve the child in the preperation and cooking of the food as it gives them pride and ownership of what has been made and they tend to want to eat what they have created! And the second approach is to present the food in a fun manner such as cutting vegetables into cute shapes, calling broccoli "Baby Trees" and things like that. If neither of these two approaches have been tried before, I do recommend it.

Thanks for the best response.

A little bit of spanking is alright, when kids are not obeying your commands, but it should be made as a habit. If we spank the kid every time, she/he might become stubborn and start taking it lightly.

Children will eat when they are hungry and spanking will not make them eat. That is not the solution. Some children are just tiny. I have 2 grandsons who are 15 months apart and the younger one is bigger than the older one, who is very skinny. Encourage her to eat, but do not spank her. That would not be good for her mental health, as well.

yes, actually it is good to spank a child if she or he is doing anything wrongly including eating. Spare the rod and spoil the child. But is better to use the rod and make the child. Most children lacks parental care and discipline that is why you see them misbehaving. cheers!

I think spanking to create good eating habits is just asking for an eating disorder issue later on down the road. Have you considered expanding her choices of foods? Perhaps offering snacks in between meals? I have had several good friends that were under weight. They didn't have any mental health issues. The pressure to put on weight was more disturbing to them than their weight. Have you checked into their metabolism, thyroid, etc? Have you looked into high calorie diets?

Sometimes we as parents should be a little more creative when it comes to handling children rather than to resort to spanking. In my opinion, I do not encourage spanking at all. Kids being kids they are choosy in their food. Even we as adults also sometimes tend to be choosy in our food but we just approve ourselves to do it. If we can allow ourselves to do it, why not the child ? Anyway, you may try to use some creative ways or positive reinforcement or some reward system to encourage your child for eating properly. Provide them some positive encouragement rather than nagging and scolding them. As a Child Psychologist myself, I would never agree with spanking at all.

You don't have to spank to your kids when they are not eating properly. You can use other ways in order your kids to obey you. You can give them other punishments or you can use a reverse psychology to your kids. It is really effective. Even adults, when used a reverse psychology, they will still follow. How much more your kids? Right? Try it for yourself.:) Happy Holidays!

In my opinion I don't think any child should be punished for not eating. Kids will eat when they are hungry you cannot force them and if you do manage to force them it could cause them to be obeise when they are older. Who cares how small your child is he/she will eat when he/she is hungry and doctors do NOT know everything.

I would say spank the children when she does not obey or does something bad. I do not consider eating properly a reason for spanking. I would say trying to put a fork in an electrical socket, throwing the plates on the floor again and again, hitting a brother, pulling hair, doing something that would harm her, and being deliberately disobedient would be a reason and after time out and grounding did not work. Not eating would not be a good reason. Try saying either you eat or you go to your room or do not get out to play. And be firm.

please don't spank your little girl for not eating properly. when my son was small , he was a real problem eater. apart from not eating 'proper' food, he didnt like chocolate(which is a surprise) for years he would nt have easter eggs or anything chocolatey. but going back to your original post.- when i was a child i hated meat or veg and lived on chicken soup and spaghetti when i got to the age of about 10 onwards. before that , I would get sent to bed if i didnt eat my dinner, but never got spanked. so when my son started getting picky with his food i would try to feed him stuff he liked. perhaps i was pandering to him, he was not a spoilt child and although he has grown up to be a vegetarian, he does now eat a good balanced diet, (by the way , he's 40 now and over 6ft tall and very healthy). so mylotters please don't spank your children for not eating.

I don't think it is ever OK to spank a child. All it proves is that you are bigger ans stronger than the child. It teaches the child that violence is the right way to behave. If your child isn't eating, find out what she likes to eat and let her eat some of that. Maybe you can tell her if she eats her dinner, she can have dessert. I wouldn't make meal time a battle ground. It's not a battle you will win. Loads of luck. One of my daughters only ate pizza, hamburger, tuna fish and bologna for years. She now eats all kinds of things, is grown up, married and has 3 boys that eat fine.

Spanking a child for not eating is not good for her mental health, either. The dinner table table should not be a battle ground. Your child will eat when she is hungry. However, if you try to force her to eat, she may rebel and try to punish you by refusing to eat. Provide nutritious food and set a good example by what you eat. You probably should provide supplements for the first few years, though.

6 year old children do not starve themselves. Bottom line-when they are hungry, they will eat. Just make sure when she does eat that it is healthy foods and not junk. Spanking is a ridiculous way to try and get a child to eat, if you feel she has not eaten enough in the day, don't let her leave the table until she finished most of what's on her plate. If that doesnt work, wrap the leftovers up and that's what she gets to eat the next time she is hungry. I think that the doctors you are seeing may need to get a mental health check, at 6 years old there are more important things to be worrying about other than what her mental state will be when she grows up because of her eating habits.