Do you think this is selfish?

Has it never occurred to you that a kids Birthday party should not be about presents? All you need to do is write 3 little words on the invitation, " No Presents Please." A proper Birthday party should be about the day, not the gift, the fellowship, not the Booty. Such a party sends the wrong message to a child. Which set of values would you pick for your child,- those of material possessions, or good friends and fun times together?

YES i think that was great that you worry about your kids like that. i know how kids are i have two my self. if my kid was invited to your kids party we would bring two gifts it wouldn't be right if my kid show up with one gift so i would make him bring two. that was great that you put both of there name on it people should see that its not just for one kid its for two

We do the same thing. But we throw in the third child also. The twins are July 13 while the youngest is June 17. We have always had one big combined party and they each can have three friends plus all the cousins and family members. It just is not practicle for us to have a party for each one. Surprisingly, even though the guest are told not to, each child is give a present form each person who comes. Often it is a smaller cheaper present for the one who they are not friends with but they still are given them.

Presents issue aside, I think it is the proper thing to do. The party is a party for BOTH of your kids. It seems silly to me to give out separate invitations to the same party. I think that putting both names on the invitations was the right thing to do.

If you had been inviting friends that were friends with both twins ,it would have been okay to have put both names on the card. But I think you should only have listed the twin that was a friend on each of the invitations. I, for one would probably think that I needed to buy two gifts. I know it happened to us when we got an invitation to our grandson's girlfriend's graduation. She is a twin, and unbeknown to her, her grandmother, who was helping with the invitations, put both their names on the invitation. But, I didn't really know her sister and have known her over 3 years, so I only gave her a gift. And I didn't feel bad about it at all. Children have to learn that things aren't always fair, or like they want them to be. Your twins would realize one of their friends didn't come and probably would never have thought a thing about not getting the same amount of gifts. I think you are the one worrying for nothing. Kids need to learn these things early because you won't be able to shield them forever from things like this. I think you have realized you made a mistake and the only way I know to fix it is call the Mother's.

I think you did the right thing. Unfortunately, It still doesn't mean that they'll get the same number of gifts. I would probably buy one gift for both of them to share, if I didn't know both of them. If I did know both of them, I'd buy them each a gift. I understand why you want them both to have the same number of gifts but they also have to learn to deal with it because it will happen as they get older. They'll have to understand that it doesn't mean one is better then the other. It's just one of those hard lessons they will eventually have to learn.

You might have been trying to do the right thing by your children and holding a combined party makes sense as they are twins but at some stage they will need to learn that life isn't always fair. When they are yoiung is the best time fir them to learn that lesson so that you can explain it to them and answer any questions your twins might have. I would have done it differently in that I would not have put both children's name on the invitations. The parents of their friends would be aware they are twins and so would have only one party. From there it would be up to each parent to decide whether they bought one present or a gift for them the children. It is always possible that some parents will not really be able to afford 2 gifts but might feel obligated to buy one for each child. Being a parent I can understand where you are coming from but it can be fraught with problems as well. A couple of years ago my ex-wife organised a combined birthday party and it was for my oldest daugher's 21st birthday and the ex's stepdaughter's 18th birthday. Their birthdays were actually 3 weeks apart, so the party was held on the middle weekend. That is what the invitation read and it caused some problems, because I do not know the stepdaughter at all, a lot of the guests did not know my daughter. Some people bought gifts for both the girls and others for only one of them. Yes these girls were much older but the same situation applies.

since they are probly going to the same school and know alot of the same kids I dont think its wrong that way they know both kids will be having the party for those that know bot they will most likely buy for both but if they only know one then they may still only buy for that one I have a gd and her best friend born a week apart alot of their parties have been togther and we let everyone invited know that its up to them who they buy for

I personally think that the only appropiate thing to do since its a joint party was to put both names on the invitation. The response is up to the person attending. Its up to them rather they bring one gift, two or none.

That sounds like a perfectly reasonable thing for you to do since they are twins and, obviously, having a joint party. If I had a child who was invited I'd either buy a small gift for each of them or something that they could share between tnem. I dont think your invitation would force people into buying 2 presents.

Both of my children have been invited to dual parties and yes we bought a present for each child and always will. It's not selfish on your part, we are all parents and know how he got more than me can hurt a child. I think you did the right thing and that any parent bringing a child to a birthday party should understand that. I did actually take my youngest to a party once where the inviation said "No presents, please" I still have no idea what the heck that was about. Sounds to me like you are on the right track and are doing a GREAT job with your children- keep it up!