What do I do now? I Think My Husband is Going to Leave Me.

damn.that's pretty cold of him-especially if the cards were used to his benefit. you had to live on something in the meanwhile with less income. if he's being that critical of you in total,are you sure you'd want to stay? i would leave it until he comes back (i know it sucks not knowing) and ask him one more time to tell you what's wrong.if he still refuses,there isn't much that can be done.calling him right now,he probably would get more angry though.

dont take me wrong .... i think the whole problem is due to miscommunication, you should have spoken to him about all the problems before hand, (its better to be informed than to be surprised or shocked) the point here is we shouldn't think that since one has to study lets not involve him in the matters that will lead to his worry, i had a simlar problem hence am telling u this ...... here thoughts doesn't cout so please speak with him ........ dont discuss about the problem first ...... just casually chat this will definitely solve ur problem ..... dont be to ur self, a relation develops by communicating not just with proximity .... dont loose ur heart please be open with him and call him and talk more than just listening

Personally, I would call him. The worst is that he won't answer the phone and you can leave a message that he will hopefully listen to. For right now, get yourself some counseling.

I'm sorry for what you're going threw, but he's over reacting over something so petty. You seriously need to talk to him and ask him " So, you actually think throwing away our marriage after some credit card debt will fix everything?" Does he naturally give up on things this easily? It make's me wonder if he's seeing somebody behind you're back because of this sudden need for him to breakup with you. I would look into that also. Yes email him and tell him how you feel, you have the right to. You and him are still married and you do have some rights. He can't make you move out also,that's you're home! by law he can't. You need some legal advice. If you can't work something out with him pack up his stuff while he is gone and change the locks and put his stuff by the curb..lol

I'm sorry to hear about the situation you are in. I am having a hard time believing that he would leave you because of what you posted. While he was away in Sweden did the two of you communicate often? I can hardly believe that he would get so angry over the credit card debt, which was done to support him and enable him to accomplish what he wanted. Some times men are so selfish. You said he spoke to his father about this, is his mother still alive? If so, you should have a talk with her and let her know exactly what is going on. Don't leave it one sided. I suggest you email him, he can't just leave you hanging not knowing what is going on.

Hi there! In my opinion I don't think you should contact him. First of all, its not your fault that you had accrued such a credit card debt if you weren't trying to support the two of you while he was still in graduate school. Did you told him that? I think you should tell for him to realize that he is partly in fault with the debts. I also feel that your husband doesn't deserve you. For three (3) years you supported him and now that he has a job he's going to leave you just like that. I can't be able to make you feel better. I know it hurts and he's your husband. But I suggest you go and find a job. So whatever happens, at least you can stand on your own. Take care!

He just doesn't sound like a great guy at all and really I think it's better for you to just get away from him. I know it has to hurt especially since you've stood behind him for so long and done so much for him but it just seems like he's a user and just isn't worth the fight. I wouldn't try to contact him at all, in fact that's probably what he wants, for you to beg him and plead for him to come home. Just let him be and let him leave if he wants too. He's not worth it and I'm sure you can do so much better.

Oh Aurone I really don't know what to say and feel so badly for you. I scanned and read some of the other repliers and how they are urging you so legal advice but I would also try to get some kind of marriage counselor as well. I think he needs to be the one to open up to a professional of some kind as it sounds like maybe something is bugging him more than he is letting on and maybe the reason he seem to get bent out of proportion and make a big deal about the debt...It seems so strange since it sounds like you were "there" for him and very supportive of him while he went to graduate school. Let us know what happens okay? (((hugs to you)))

There is more than one duck in the Pond. Join a gym, get in shape, make yourself available, get your hair done, and get ready to leave! Don't bother with him. If you get right around you might be able to get laid as early as this next weekend. Good luck and God bless!

There seems to be a little more to his story. I don't see a man who really loves you, and has been married for you for almost four years would just drop you over a little credit card debt. It kind of sounds to me...this is just my opinion... that he may have found someone while he was gone for five weeks, and so now he needs to find something that you did wrong to end the relationship. This way you don't find out about his extra marital affairs, and you feel like it is all your fault. I'm not sure if this is the case for your relationship, but that is just my opinion. I hope that you two get a chance to talk and work things out.

You know what was any of the credit buys for him at all to help him get thru school? If so then he has no right to say anything but help u pay for them. And as his parents are probably nuts. Sorry about the language thats just stupid to leave someone over.Are you sure he didnt meet someone else? Whose house is it that u live in? He just doesnt love u anymore it sounds like to me or if he ever did. Just keep ur chin up hold urself high and screw him. good luck

I am sorry to hear that your husband is being a jerk. But I would just let him go. I know that it is easier said than done, but you don't need someone criticizing you, especially about the way you look. It hurts, but I think you would be a lot better without him. Someone better will come along. In the meantime, keep your head held high and stay strong. I once heard a little poem and it is so true. I don't know who wrote it or said it, but I am NOT taking credit for it. "If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, it was meant to be." I don't know that you would want him back, but I'm assuming you love him. So start out by setting him free and hopefully he will figure out what he is missing :) Good Luck!

I would like to help, but no one can think or say nothing to you, because that is a problem between you and your husband... Try and speak with him... there is always a solution..

I'm sorry for what you are going through, really I am. My husband and I have been through some hell, but NEVER would he criticize how I look. Personally, I say good riddance, let him go. Don't contact him & change the locks. Give him a taste of his own medicine. When a man is acting the way you portrayed your husband, he's more than likely found another woman, he's not going to be happy with you because he's going to have to this 'perfect' (facade) new relationship idea stuck in his head. I'm sorry to say this, I'm not saying any of it to be mean or cruel, maybe I'm just too realistic. I hope everything works out for the best. Try to remember that things happen for a reason, you may be heart broken and tore up by what's going on but all of this could make something amazing appear into your life.

That was really rude of him to do. It could have been an issue that you two can resolved as a married couple. I guess I think you deserved a better partner than him just thrashing you around like that. That is just not fair for you being out here waiting for him to come back then what do you get nothing but insults from him and his family. You don't deserve him like to treat you like that. Let him be the one to say what he wants not you because as far as I know you want him back but if he decides not to then don't force him back to you. Move on and perhaps there are better persons that can love you who you are.

It sounds like your husband may be on the way out the door. The fact that he's not talking to you, has taken you off his Facebook and has said he didn't know if he wanted you there when he got back all point at that. Why he's acting like this is a mystery but I have heard of ppl that stick it out with someone who is helping them get through some kind of schooling...graduate school, medical school, ect...and then dumping them when they suceed. They suddenly think they are too good to be with that person. Not saying that is the case with your husband but just a thought. As for what you should do, I'd call him up and put him in the spot. Ask him point blank if he is wanting a divorce or what. It is better to know up front then to leave it hanging. Also in the event that he does want one, if you helped to support him through graduate school you might be able to get some of that support back as part of your divorce settlement. If he's not wanting a divorce then I'd talk to him about going to some marriage counceling. Which ever way it goes, just remember that you make the choices in your life. So make the ones that are going to do the most good for you. [b]~~MY OWN PEACE WITHIN~~ **STAND STRONG AND BELIEVE IN YOURSELF**[/b]

This is a sad story and Im afraid I cannot give a good advice. Because I dont want to be giving an advice to something I really dont know. Im too young and havent experienced this yet, And I dont know the whole story. But I responded, just to tell you that what I have learned from experience is that, you should not let a problem over night. I mean, you have to talk about it before the day ends. Or before you sleep. In this case, The best thing to do is to talk to him sincerely. Thats all.. and dont forget to pray :)

Its really sad that you have to go through this when you have stood by him all through his learning years. Dont give up, fight for your rights. Can you get a job here, even a small paying one which will tide you through this patch. Take legal advice, for Im sure he must have found somebody else to behave like that. Dont take it meekly for he will walk all over you. Give him back as good as he gives you, for maybe then he will seel you with a different eye. You have been too meek and let him walk all over you. Of course email him and ask him for an explanation. Good luck friend, you are going to need it in tons.

Aurone, Like two pillars supporting a structure - if one pillar is merely leeching strength from the other, then surely, after a period of time, it will be draining for the other pillar and wouldn't be long before the whole structure collapses because this is often an unrealistic model in Love. I cannot comprehend how, without first having that self love and seeking our identity, could one even move along the higher learning of Love? It's ridiculously simple - one, being a stranger to herself, wants to know a stranger better than herself? No wonder divorce rate are climbing and people are indulging into nugatory relationships, only to split for the SAME underlying reasons over and over again. This whole distorted perception and corrupted attitude towards yourselves hardly differs very much towards the relationship here. Speaking of nugatory, has it occurred to you that what he does not see as nugatory is being taken and seen to be so by you. I cannot help but assume that he is not comfortable with the way you handle the finances, personal grooming, dressing, perceptions and housekeeping. Despite repeatedly telling you so, I feel that your lack of attention and slow pace of things due to whatever reasons had not been communicated effectively to him. As a results, he sees it as a neglect, unlove and unappreciative at his end. Thus, becoming unresolved issues between the both of you. Have it overtime, - strains the relationship to the inevitable end. It starts to accumulate and like the once infamous Titanic, which took nothing of the warnings of iceberg hazards and overloading - eventually met her fate and you know the rest. It sank and claim a catastrophic number of casualties If you do not have the inner strength to take on such daunting challenges, I would suggest just forget about this whole thing because your relationship will never be a bed of roses until you overpower these unresolved issues. You got to accept this notion from now and work out your strategy based on this background for a start. Push on and make haste here for the minute you slacken - you will lose this war rapidly and your relationship will start to disintegrate like vampire to sunlight. Comparing to other 'conventional' relationship - it is almost like you have twice the area to defend, with half the troops available. You can choose to degenerate this relationship to societal pressure and appease the majority, but when your regrets start to sink in like viscous goo, nobody will share your emotional torment; you will live with the consequence of your choice. If the relationship must fail; let it be the will of fate... not the will of man. P.S. I would also recommend that if by chance the both of you are still willing - when he is "possibly" ready to rekindle the marriage relationship, DO SO ONLY if he agrees to complete a course of couples counseling with you. Unless you do, the both of you will just be likely to break each others' heart again. Take care.

Hi, what you are going through i is very tough! especially if you two have kids. I don't know what good advice i can give you, but there is always the the best thng to do, PRAYERS. Ask for guidance and God will never give you any trials in life that you cannot surpass. I have also been separated for quite sometime, and now I'm doing very fine, people who supported me are my family and most especially it was God who made me this strong woman now. If there is a point in time that all you do is cry, do pray, ask for strength, guidance etc., and in a moment you will stop from cryng, it happened to me, so it will also happen to you. Goodluck and hope everything will turn out well.