Help for a grieving parent

Hi Winefaery, Awe!...Your poor Mum...Sooo very sad...Its not nice to see your parent like this and I am glad I have not had to experience this yet...I could not imagine the thought of losing my partner of five years and if your Mum and Dad have been together for a long period of time, I shudder to think of the effect it has on her...She sounds like she is surrounded by you daily and that's a good thing...I imagine what it would be and feel like...And it brings tears to my eyes, so I have to move the thought out of my head, quick smart...Have you thought maybe seeking counselling for her?...I would try that angle and see where it leads...I wouldn't make my Mum sort my Dad's belonging's out, as I believe it would be too painful for her...If you are able and have siblings, ( cos' I know you are feeling the pain also ) maybe you all could help with this task?...I understand you may not be ready to do certain tasks ( and I take my hat off to you, for being strong here ) but maybe the items you are not comfortable opening or sorting out, could be left till Mum is ready and in a better frame of mind...Encourage her daily and don't give up on her...She must be feeling lost and wondering where to from here...Take each day in its stride...Let her know you are there and show her the love and support, she would have given you, if the roles were reversed...I dont believe forcing her to sort Dad's things out will do any good...I feel so sorry for you and my heart goes out to your Mum...Its strange when the roles are reversed and the adult becomes the child and the child ends up the adult...I remember crying if I saw my Mum shed tears, because it wasn't nice to witness, but I would not know what to do, if I had to go through, what you are going through...I hope she recovers soon and see's that there is still life after her husband...So, so, so sad...All the best and take care of you and your Mum.

I went thru all this with my mom when my dad suddenly passed. It was a shock to us all and so very hard as I was really close to him. I was lucky in that my mom's mother was still alive to help distract her as she was a wreck....she depended on my dad for absolutely everything. I found that going thru my dad's stuff and knowing that it helped my mom...in some way helped me. I was doing something that I knew he would have wanted me to do. It takes time....a lot of time. My mom never moved on and dated after my dad passed and her dependence on him was passed over to me and my brothers. We did convince her to move out of the home they had shared and that helped a great deal. We also convinced her to take on a part time job...she hadn't worked in 30 years. That also proved to be good...got her out with other people. I didn't push my mom to go thru my dad's things as for her, i think it would have been just too much. Still, we all pushed her to do things for herself. She had never ever even paid a phone bill, car payment, electric bill etc. Heck, she did not even know if my dad had life insurance! I kind of walked her thru these things and then pushed her to do them on her own. Over time she got better but she was always somewhat dependent on us kids. She passed last year and we took full care of her for her last 8-9 months. It is hard losing a parent and I am so sorry for your loss.