Can a mutual understanding lead to a romantic relationship?or depends upon
By jlamela
@jlamela (4898)
Philippines
November 16, 2008 6:53pm CST
I have this close guf friend, our colleagues say that we have mutual understanding, they would tease us endlessly because they won't believe we have no romantic involment. This guy has been my friend for a long time but it is only now that our relationship takes up to different level of closeness, I can sense that his treatment is so special, he confided me everything about his future plans, all his secrets and troubles which he did not do to any of his friends. He has no girlfriend and I have no boyfriend. Until such time that we treated each other like girlfriend/boyfriend thing. He brings food and bought special for me, sometimes I did some personal errands for him, deposit his money for his bank accounts.
Slowly my feelings developed for him until I asked him what is the real score, to my disappointment he told me that there's nothing special about his treatment, that he treated me like close friend only. My question now is, why he acted that way?was he telling the truth or only took a defense mechanism because I initiated the questioning about his feelings?I am confused with him that I wanted to evade him for good.
5 responses
@markroderick (888)
• Philippines
17 Nov 08
it really depends on the situation if you want to take it farther. But there are some friends who just remains friends for the sake of friendship. they think that if they will have a relationship the friendship will be no longer the priority. There are some guys who are afraid of getting into a serious relationship with their pals. I guess you have to respect his decisions for that. At least you've asked him. so if time comes that he will tell you that maybe that time he was just afraid to face the truth. Well for me it happens i told the girl that...its all in the past just try to forget it.
@jlamela (4898)
• Philippines
17 Nov 08
Thanks for your enlightenment. Atleast I know now where I stand, it is really painful because I foolishly invested emotion already, but I understand the whole thing anyway. What I am going to do now is to avoid him, slowly avoid him to forget him for good and started entertaining suitors.
@snjc1011 (1)
•
21 Jan 13
I would also like to share my story.
I had this friend of my crush as my seatmate and I thought he would be the way for my crush to be in love with me again. I realized all the things and sacrifices he had done for me. One day, we chatted in Facebook. I forced him to tell who his crush is and he said his old crush. I said "No, you're not telling the truth." Then he revealed it and he said it was me. I was very happy so I told him that I also feel the same. So we began to be like in a mutual understanding relationship. Many of our classmates tease us even teachers. On Valentines day, his friends told me that he wanted to court me, and give me flowers that day....
You see, before you get into this MU (Mutual understanding) thing, you must be ready cause it's really the way of getting to be closer and knowing each of your personality. It's not bad to fall in love. Love develops everything in our life.
@alyssa_c (440)
• Philippines
19 Nov 08
Wow, what a bummer... (maybe he's gay?...kidding!)Guys really are very hard to read and I feel for you. This has happened to me before and it wasn't easy trying to understand if he is just doing it for friendship or something more. I wasn't as brave as you though as I never got enough courage to ask him what the relationship between us really meant. Eventually, he had to leave the country because of work, and now we each have our own lives apart.
I know some couples though who had mutual understanding at first and then became real couples. Maybe it's destiny for them but then some stayed together, some broke up. You could never really tell what works.
@ComEng (69)
• Philippines
17 Nov 08
As you have said, that you already ask him what's the real score and he told you that it's all for friendship better to stick on his answer.And considering your friendship which I think have developed your trust to each other and also honesty, there'll be no reason for him to deny his true feelings if that would be the case.
@gymnastix (10)
• Philippines
19 Nov 08
I think you should have asked him further questions about your status. There's nothing wrong with it. You may get him wrong with his moves, but at least you know what he is after for. If he is serious about having said that you are just his friend, then you can assume that he just took you for granted. See, you have done personal errands for him. Doesn't it matter to him? He brings you food and stuff, so what does that mean? It's not your fault that you have developed your feelings for him because his moves speaks for his motives.
If he just took a defense mechanism and afraid to reveal his feelings, maybe you wait for sometime when he has the courage to let you know and the assurance of what he feels. Nevertheless, just pray.
