which comes first, building a house or getting marry?

Well if they get married before they have a house, where do they live? Having a place to live is really important and there is no better way to ruin a relationship than moving in with mom and dad.

it's really important for a married couple to have their own house... in my case, marrying came first... and til now, we still dont own a house...we are renting... but i do hope someday, we could own one... :)

Having a house before you are married is a good idea. That shows that he has enough money to support a wife and family. I do not believe in the "live out in the field and it is just our love to keep us warm. " By the time one gets married, one is usually thinking of starting a family among other things Besides the house becomes a home. It gets rather cold camping out in the field doesn't it?

Well building a house should be the first thing to do to start a family, i know that it is a little bit costly but that is the most practical way than renting. When you have your own house nothing to worry where you are going to live for you have a place to go. And it also sign of independence from your previous families. You can do anything you like for it is your own house. Getting married is not only for the feeling you have for each other but you must be ready in all aspect in life ,financially , physically, spiritually, and emotionally.

Well, I think it depends on your priorities. A man may feel that he need to have a home first so that his family can have a roof over their heads. Some people prefer to take the marriage route first. I would go either way. As long as I know in the end I would have that ring on my finger.

for me, it doesn't matter building a house or getting marry first. as long as after we got marry, we have a place of our own (not in his parents house nor in my parents house). we can rent an apartment or a house, anything, as long as we have a place of our own. I mean, come on, we are building our new family here, so I don't want anyone else involve in our small family everyday. once or twice a weel is acceptable but not everyday.

for me i think getting married is priority me and my partner have decided not to buy our first house until we get married next year because then we have alot more time to save for a house :)

Hi kenchiprincess, Quite an interesting discussion. For me and my boyfriend it is the same story. We both want him to finish building his house before we get married and since we are pretty young (22 both of us) we may live together for a while in the house before getting married. Now, I have told him already that I would not marry him or even live with him IF we were going to do so at his parents house (something he is strongly against too) and renting is just out of the question for me. I like to be free and when you are renting you just aren't free to do as you wish. Also, it is a form of stability. We are taking our time with it but we do intend to have a house done before we get married. Living with in-laws wouldn't be nice.

I think it's quite impressive for the boyfriend to think of his sense of security and his future family as well. I think in his mind, the boyfriend is not thinking about the structure but a place of their own where his wife and children could share all their life's moments together. A lot of couples jump into marriages without talking about their finances and guess what, a lot of marriages fall apart because of finances. I know it's not romantic but I think it is equally as important for couples to talk about this.

It really depends on your prioritization of things, your financial capability and emotional readiness to settle down. Of course, having your own house is a primary goal of anyone starting a family. But it can wait, again because not all of us can afford to have our own abode. Instead, many couple (those who are not so affluent) can opt to rent an apartment while planning on their future. Let's say you have the means and decided to build a house for your future spouse and family. However, the wedding did not push through for whatever reasons. What will you do with your house? Reside in it even without a partner? Of course, it's possible but imagine the emotional stress that you'll go through. How about selling it or renting it out? Very possible too. But again, there is an emotional issue by realizing that your dream house intended for your own family now belongs to another person/family. But as I said, it is contingent on the situation.

I think building a house is more important because after building house too many girls impersed on boys and also first build your carriear than marry.

Your friend is a very lucky woman to have such a sweet future husband to build them a home to live in. Unfortunately,many young or older couples getting married may not have this option. Where you are going to live, come home to after the honeymoon needs to be decided before the wedding day. And if possible, obtain ownership of the property,whatever it may be, an apartment, a mobile home, a new house, before you get married. This ensures the couple has a place of their own to start their new life together as husband and wife. Don't put your wedding on hold because of a house. Purchasing or building a house can be stressful and costly. The last thing a new married couple needs is to be in debt for a new home and the cost of their wedding. That is not a good way to start a marriage.

I kind of agree with your friend. At least the house will be done and they'll have a place of their own. Too many people spend way too much on weddings and doin't have a decent home, or any in these times. So, they know money going towardOns the house. On the other hand, they're not married. Sol, your friend is screwed if they divorce because he can claim legaly the house was his before marriage if her name is not on it.

I think building a home together and a family kind of go hand in hand. For me, it kind of happened all at the same time. My boyfriend and I started looking for a house in January, found a house and wrote an accepted offer towards the end of January, and then he proposed to me on Valentines Day. So it all happened just weeks apart from each other, although we weren't even married yet. I think because of the kind of relationship we had, we just knew it was the right thing to do. We are married now and happier than ever in our home.

My friend was telling me about his cousin who had a boyfriend since they were in high school. When they graduated from college, the promptly got married. The bride did not even finish the honeymoon. She went home and filed for divorce. They were incompatible.

marriage is difference with love.if you fall in love with a person.the only thing you concerned is your love.however,if you get marry. it means you have to live in another way.you not only concern your love,but also your life.so when you prepare to marry you have to think your life.do you think you csn always rent a house for your life.

I agree with the guy in his idea of finishing the house before getting married. This is a very smart idea of preparing a secure place for a family. It is the guy's responsibility to find a home for his wife. It is best to have your own house. No more worry of renting, and you can do what you want to improve and decorate it because it is your own. No hassle. Am sure the wife would be happy when a husband can provide her a comfortable home which they can call their own. I like that idea.

Well ideally, it's better to have a house before the wedding. That way, either way works. If you get married and already have a place to stay that isn't necessarily your own, then that's fine. Like if the guy can afford the rent for a place that you like, then it should be okay. As long as the man has a plan, I don't see why not having a house right after the wedding should be a problem.

I'm sure all married couples would like to have their own dream house. I definitely would like that. But not everybody are that fortunately to be able to have that much as they loved to. For me, a house can wait as long as you can rent a place while waiting and saving up in the meantime. Would the love of your life wait for you or until your dream house is built. Married first and than build up your dream house together, that's my opinion.

builing house first is sensible as per me because marriage means more people in your life, hence more responsibilities, more money, requirement of more tangible assets. Constructing a house will create a solid asset for you life long. come what may, you have your own house, where you can live reducing your costs. also in need of money you can take loan on your home. your boyfriend is right. go ahead with him.