Holding someone else's baby or your own

I have never rushed in to hold a baby dont know why. Just dont now if I am afford to hold one I will . adn I never rushed to hold my own kids when the cried. I Would find out what was wrong first wet hungry pain what ever. then I would hold them to feed them I just didnt wan tto spoil them where they would cry just for attention. Never thought i would be a mom but I ended up with 5 kids thing that happens when ya get married!

Mmmh, interesting question... I never really had the urge or holding somebody else's baby. On the other hand I loved to hold my own in my arms all the time. But neither before or after I had my own kids did I want to hold other people's babies. Just not my thing. Never has been. Although I know better, for me it's like they are dirty and I don't want to get dirty. It's crazy I know, but that's why I don't like it. With my own it was completely different, they could have been completely filthy and I still would have held them on my arm and hugged them.

I personally think it just depends on the person and what stage they are in, in life. You always hear people saying that they enjoy their grandchildren more then they enjoyed their own children. I wouldn't know that yet as I am not a grandparent yet. I am a mother of 2 boys who are 10 years apart in age, and I can honestly say that I enjoyed holding the younger one much more then I did the older boy. I know that sounds really bad as a parent, but I think it has alot to do with my own age. Not only did I enjoy the younger boy more when he was little but I took more of an interest in other peoples little ones and I still do. So in some ways I think it has do with with your own maturity.

I have two children of my own. I am one of those women that you are referring to. I love children and babies. There is nothing wrong with it. I am definitley not psycho. Children are a precious gift in this life and should be treated that way.

personally i prefer to have baby own my own. people always said, you only appreciate somthing when it's gonw, or that thing is YOURS! the law applies to anything, including babies. maybe you think it's the same, but the feeling it's different, that's why people would pay thousands dollars just to get pregnant!

I have a child of my own, a daughter who is 14 months old. But I don't feel the need to hold other people's babies. I don't think every baby I see is cute. I love my daughter, and I think she's beautiful. But I just never had the draw to other people's children. I wasn't sure I ever wanted children, and my daughter was a surprise. She's my heart, and I adore her. But even so, I don't know that I want any children besides her. I think some people just aren't born with a draw to children. Maybe it's one of mother nature's form of birth control?

I know with me, I've just never been into babies or kids. I think baby animals are cute, but not baby humans. I never liked to hear children cry, yell, or scream and I don't enjoy the sound of children playing. Maybe it's a lack of hormones, I don't know. Not everyone likes or enjoys the same thing in life.

I don't like babies. I have never liked them, tho I have become better at making a big deal about other people's babies because it makes them feel good. I never wanted a baby. I tell people that its because I saw how much work they were when my sister was born. I am told that before she was born I wanted a baby, I do know that after she was born, I didn't. You have to say I'm consistant - 51 years later and I still don't.

I have not had children yet, but the need to comfort an upset child is natural. I don't think it makes them a psychopath. I mean, you hear about the stories where animals take in others young that the mother has rejected. Partly it may be guilt for some women- but most its just a natural instinct. We were born to raise and care for our young.

I know exactly what feeling you mean. I love babies and when I get the opportunity to hold one it makes me go awww so cute. It gives me a warm fuzzy feeling. I have some clients, I clean houses, that have let me babysit their babies and it was the most fun times I've had since I moved here, to Calgary. I am thinking about voluntering at our children's hospital. I would love to help these kids as much as I can, even if just to bring a smile to their faces. But I don't know if when voluntering if they let a person get that close to the kids. I am having to go look into it more so I can make a decission. Alrighty then, talk to you later my friend, Your friend Chris

Hi, I have not been here for sometime now. Just now I came back to the site and saw your post. I am not the one to rush to each and every baby I see, But I love babies no matter who and what they are. Sometimes I get the feeling to carry the baby, at other times I only play, that's all. As for your question, I do not know why it is like that, but surely Menopause cannot be the reason. Then none of the grandmothers will feel like holding the baby or feeling the warmth of the baby. There are many who like to hold only their own babies in the family and not others'. We cannot usually generalize like that. Maybe as you say, an emotional shock or some other problem might deter them from holding babies. But women, being the mothers and grandmothers will always love to hold babies just for the warmth it provides. You feel relaxed then. I feel like that. I hope you all too.

seeing sweet little babies does make me go "awe". but I have had six and I really don't feel the need to pick up other people's babies. I do like to when I know them. I think I just like to for a second experience that sweet innocence of a small child...but only briefly and only with babies who's mother I already know. So mabye for some women it's just the opportunity to feel that again.

I'm honestly not sure what you are asking or suggesting here. Are you suggesting that there is something "wrong" with a woman who doesn't feel compelled to hold and coo at any random infant? I enjoy babies and am happy enough to hold them, no matter who the parents are. I have always been good at comforting crying babies, and will often offer to hold a crying little one so that the mom can get a bit of breathing space. I've even, on a couple of occasions (once when the mother was hospitalized and once when the mother was on medication that would have been bad for the baby) nursed another mother's baby until she could start doing it again herself. But I've never been one of those standing in line in a game of "pass the baby", and I don't feel compelled to hold every baby that I see. Does that make me less of a woman, or mean that there's something wrong with me?

I like child. If it is possible, I want to have a child of mine. Child makes me feel I am being relied on. And I want to give him/her my best love.

Being a father, I think it is a combination of what you had mentioned. There are people who are really fond of babies and feel some sort of attachment whenever they see one.

I worked in nurseries before and honestly, I don't treat the babies with much excitement like some of my pals but I do take care of them. I carry them when they cry, I gave the best I can but certainly I have this thing of not getting too attached with them. I can be emotional too but well, my pals never questioned my blankness. There are mothers who experience "inattachment" after they gave birth but of course that was normal. Biologically, the woman's body has altered hormones when they get pregnant and when this level of hormone falls after giving birth it gives rise to a form of psychosis in which the woman hallucinates and perceives her baby differently. So, we hear the news of some mothers drowning their own babies and stuff and this should readily be identified by the obstetrician. Initially she gives doses of such hormone so that the mother will not go through post-partum psychoses. Other than that, we can not dismiss the fact that a woman may have experienced emotional triggers in which case adding up the stress that pregnancy might have caused. We can not point out exactly what are the reasons for these triggers because human behaviour is also complex. Personally as a care giver, I would stay "blank" and be more focused on the care of the baby than indulging what I can receive as "personal joy" from my work because it is the mother or the father who should establish the bond to the baby. That is the most important bond... As to this situation where a mother post risk for psychosis, the immediate family members should be supportive/support system in taking care of the new baby to avoid such untoward incidence until the mother establishes stable hormones.