a baby from another woman

Of course she will be hurt by it but there's nothing you cannot do about it. Well I guess if your not comfortable talking to your ex then maybe you prepare yourself about what to tell your daughter about it. You can calm her down and let her understand that you and him are already separated and she should start accepting that her father is with someone else already. What should he feel about her father well I guess there's nothing she can do but love and respect her father's choice. It will make hers and your life a little lighter. Anyway it is her father and she cannot replace her anymore. About you worrying about your daughter's reaction. The best thing to do in here is to be calm and just be ready for her in case she would need your attention and wisdom on this things.

That happened to my sister in law. Her ex husband found a live in partner and got her pregnant. Is you ex husband in touch with your kids? With my sister in law, their dad do not even show himself to them. They are aged 11 and 9. I think they know they have another sibling but they don't seem to absorb it much at this time. Besides, they don't see their dad anymore. The thing is, there's nothing you can do about it. The fact is, that kid is still their sister or brother by blood. Sooner or later, they will have to accept that. Of course, for me, it's wrong but I guess this are the facts of life.

I think your daughters will understand. It maybe a little bit hurting and they may feel envious but I'm sure they would accept it just as you do. Since your husband and his other woman are both able or capable to produce a baby, its normal that they would have one.

are u just separated or divorced. either way i'd ask him. does he see your girls. they are probably old enough if it's been 15 years to accept it whether they like it or not. things can sure get in a mess, can't they? good luck.

If you have been reparated from your husband for 15 years and you have come over it ,I don't see any reason why your children will get hurt.They have accepted your separation,they can also accept having another sister or brother from their father by another woman.Do not worry children now can easily understand any situation their family have if we are open to them.

If you tell them as early as possible, they wouldn't accept the fact that they're gonna have another sibling, from another woman. The baby will be blood-related to your kids since the unborn has their father's blood running through its veins. They have to know no matter what, just give them time to mature before telling them. They will understand the situation later on.

I don't know what to say as I've never been in that situation. However when I was growing up one of my friends went through a similar situation. Her parents were already divorced (or separated) when she and I met. She lost contact with her dad (until my own mother butted in LOL) and she and her dad got to meet. Shortly after she found out that her dad got his girlfriend (?) pregnant. My friend spoke to me about it and she told me she hated the baby (she was 9 years old at the time). I didn't understand why she felt this way as the baby was innocent in all of this, but sadly she did. A few years later I spoke to her about her half brother and nothing changed. I don't even think she considered him her brother, let alone her half brother. Years have gone by since then and I have no idea if things have changed between the two of them. I'm sure every situation is different. Maybe if you have a positive outlook on it your kids might too. Just a thought. Good luck!

Oh my friend! I'm sad to hear you've been separated from your hubby! I really am! But I am happy that it seems you have able to move on through that long years of separation. However, I can't blame you if you are in a way still bothered over the news that your philandering hubby is having a baby by her mistress. I know why you are worried for your girls! My dear, if I were you, I will talk with the girls so that they will take this thing calmly. You can't do anything anymore because your husband has already gone so far and you no longer has control over the situation. Tell your girls not to be affected because in the first place, that is unavoidable because your hubby is having another woman. What should rather be focused at and be happy about is that the girls still have you. A good mother that you are and giving to them your very all just to fill up the void created by their father. Instead of feeling bitter about the whole thing encourage your girls to pray for their father. Tell them to forgive him rather than hate him. He is still their father after all. Forgiveness is one effective way of having a positive outlook in life. You too my dear sweetie, learn to forgive and forget! You will all feel a lot better when true forgiveness is given and every news that will come to you about your ex-hubby will no longer affect you that much. I pray that you will continue to be strong in the midst of the trials that come along your way. You can weather all storm by God's wonderful grace. God bless your family!

I think your estranged husband should be the one to tell your daughters that he is going to be a father and that they would soon have a half sister/brother. Any questions they may have should be answered by him, since the family structure is being changed by him. You should be there for any support they may need, you did not mention how old the girls were. Is he still seeing the girls and supporting them financially? If he is not, there may be a bit of jealousy of the new child, because they may feel he likes then new child better than them.

Hmmm this is kind of weird in that you guys have been seperated for 15 years. How old are your kids? It would seem that they are old enough to understand the situation given that they have been able to accept that their parents are married, yet seperated for 15 years. And that Daddy lives with another woman. You may be over thinking this situation given your current relationship status. Is it possible that the kids may look at them more like the "married" couple rather than the two of you? Sometimes as parents we think that because we don't tell kids the real deal that they don't know. If they are old enough to understand the "birds and the bee's", I am curious to know why you think that they will be hurt by the situation? Not to come across mean, because I don't know your situation but the only weird thing about your situation is that you aren't divorced. It seems that your husband may have moved on farther than you have.

How old r ur girls? Do u think they would be old enough to understand why this happened? Ithink u might be surprised how strong ur girls are. U need to start a discussion with them like, tell them u have this friend that has this problem and ask if them if what they would do. Thats what i would do. Sometimes u may have to get into discussions early in their lives and show them that u r interested in their lives and ask them important questions if u know what i mean. Happy mylotting

I don't think you should deceive them and someone should tell them. You are not protecting them from anything by telling them. You might be surprised on how indifferent they are. They will resent you later however if you do not tell them and they find out they have a half sibling from elsewhere. While the child is no relation to you, it is your child's sibling.

I suggest you talk to your ex about it and tell him to talk to the girls. It would be difficult to the girls to accept it when they heard the news from somewhere else other than their father. I am sure the girls would be excited , well it depends on how your exhusband will tell them. javascript:__doPostBack('ctl00$cphMainContent$lbStart','') post response

I should be fine. Kids are easier to cooperate mutually than adults. Don't worry about it.

I think you should be open to the girls and explain to them the real situation. It is better to tell them rather then they hearing it from others. They will be more prepared to accept the reality of the situation. I think they should understand by now that their mom and dad are separated and they have a step mom and step sibling.

I would either ask my ex, his live in girlfriend, or both of them together and get the confirmation. If she is, well than I would ask both of them when they will talk to the girls about it. I think they should. I'm sure marriage will be in the picture here in the near future and what better time and way for their father and his girlfriend to break the good news of an addition to the family. I would have a certain time to for their talk otherwise if it's not done, then tell them. Either way, it's really up to you and what you do, but I would definitely find out if it's true or not. I don't know how old your girls are or how they may take it, good or bad, but one things for sure, don't get all worried sick about it until the time comes.

First you should ask him about it. If it is true you should have him there to tell the girls with you. Two of my children are from someone who was married before. I was also married before and I have a child and he has a child. This happens today when people don't stay married. Your children will be just fine with it as long as the two of you address it responsibly. You made no mention that he is a bad father, I do not expect this to change because he has another child. Our children are our most precious gifts. He will love all of his children, rightfully so... If you and your ex can put it forth to your children that they are going to have a brother or sister, and always express it that way it should be fine. If you do have any hurt feelings personally, do not let the girls see it, this will only jade their opinion of this situation. Children do not want to hurt their parents.

First of all how reliable is the source you heard it from. If I was pretty sure it was true I would try to sit the girls down and talk to them about it.Be honest and tell them you heard it and you want to talk about their feelings about it. I wouldn't want them to find out that I knew it and didn't tell them about it. Maybe this would eliminate theshock of someone else telling them anyway. Good Luck!

great

hi! i noticed that this discussion was five months ago... how are things now? were you able to talk to your ex-husband? have you informed your daughters about the news? i know its going to be a hard job for a mom like you as you need to protect your daughters and do not want to hurt them and in as much as you can, all you want is to protect them from being hurt expecially that this situation is very sensitive. just be there for them and be strong for them. i think they would be able to understand if it will be fully explained to them. in my own opinion, i think the news should come from you, and not wait for them to hear it from other sources (outside home) as the news may hurt them and will hurt them all the more if they know later on that you knew about it already and you didn't tell them.