you're ex's girlfriend..
By jolope
@jolope (987)
Philippines
November 19, 2008 11:04pm CST
this discussion is for girls..
but boys can answer or give their opinion as well..
:)
it always is an annoying thought when you're ex's girlfiend or current relationship try to ruin your life..
i mean, they make weird ways to erase you from you're ex's life..
i dont think its normal to worry too much..i mean, if i was the new girlfriend, i'd let my boyfriend to be friends with his ex..but of course he should also know that i should be the priority of his attention..
the weird thing is, the new gf has the attention, but she still worries about the old gf who's already entirely out of the picture..
its kind of pathetic..
so what's you're opinion on this one??
should the new gf make all the fuss??
how should the old gf react??
4 people like this
16 responses
@maean_19 (4655)
• Philippines
20 Nov 08
When I became an ex girlfriend, it never crossed to my mind to bother or even planned to ruin the new relationship of my ex boyfriend. Same is through when I became the current girlfriend. I did not bother to think much about my boyfriend's ex. I had this ex that when we were in a relationship, I became friend with his ex. Some ex' of my bf then likewise hated me and they even go to my place and tell things against me. But i ignored them...Who cares...There was also a time when my bf 's(now an ex)then ex sends me rude messages or even calls me up in the phone. Truly, those girls were pathetic and paranoid.
@maean_19 (4655)
• Philippines
20 Nov 08
Thank you for marking me as your best response. Despite some topographical errors. lol..
I really do not mind my bf's exes. I would always think, I am the current and that is what matters.I do not want to waste my time entertaining such stupidity. lol
@jolope (987)
• Philippines
20 Nov 08
i totally agree!!!
right..
the bestest best thing to do is ignore them..those paranoid girls who cant move on with their own lives..may it be an ex or the current gf..
they worry too much..
and because of that..they tend to ruin our beautiful day..
its a waste of energy to even talk to them because they seem to be narrow-minded about it..
love your answer maean_19!! :)
1 person likes this
@mandytaylor48 (374)
• United States
20 Nov 08
well i have to deal with a new wife . and let me tell you we get into it all the time . she wants to trya nad be a momma to my baby girl and that aint happing. me and the ex get along just fine . she worries that i ma trying to take him from her. hello i am happily remarried myself. so i dont know why the ex new girlfriends and wives have to be so cometitve.
@suzzy3 (8341)
•
20 Nov 08
HI it is jealousy and insecurity,this modern thinking about all being friends and getting along is not really happening is it, I would hate my husbands ex partner to keep turning up and he hates it, when we have to see my ex husband at family parties ect,he is mature about it but he hates it,even though my ex used to knock me about and drink all the money away,but I suppose that is different because he hates anyone that has hurt me.I think you should be alittle bit more tactful and stop expecting everyone to feel the same way you do.Maybe you should all get in a room and talk and lay down rules especially for the little babies sake and everybody elses,it is no surprise that your new wife wants to be another mummy to your daughter how wonderful for her to have so many people loving you and lets face it she loves you it is no wonder she loves your baby, why don't you give her a baby of your own.All your new wife is doing is trying to make you happy and whats wrong with that,I think you are a lucky man and stop shutting your new wife out of your life with your most precious child.Deal with a new wife what is she a flipping pain.It is up to you to sort this out.xxxx
@rsa101 (38166)
• Philippines
20 Nov 08
Well I guess the current would feel insecured when she knows that he is still contacting you even though its purely friendship that is between you and your ex. But if you have nothing to do with him ans she still insist that there is something going on between you and your ex, I guess you have the right to confront her and tell her to be assured that you're not interested with her BF. I guess that is just the right thing to do in my opinion.
@gracie04 (4549)
• Philippines
20 Nov 08
good thing hubby doesn't want to be friends with his ex.. His ex is psychotic and pathetic, big time! she tried to ruin our relationship when she found out that her ex and i are already together.. i hate her, big time! ex tend to destroy your present relationship because he/she hasn't moved on yet..
@jolope (987)
• Philippines
20 Nov 08
my friend and i are both without a boyfriend..
and the gfs of our ex bfs are having this big insecurity on us..
but i feel you..
if the ex tries to ruin things for you guys then she is it hate..haha
my friend and i are not doing anything at all to ruin or communicate with our exes but the gfs still keeps on coming..
its kind of annoying since we're trying to have a peaceful life..
thanks for responding gracie04.. :)
@markroderick (888)
• Philippines
20 Nov 08
I have an experienced before the guy is my friend. His ex's always try to ruin things with his new girlfriend. the worst part is the ex's makes friends with his new girl without him knowing. when the two girls became friends, the ex's told the current gf that my friend is like this and that when it comes to girls. so the current gf confront her bf that he was like this. and it really creates war between them. i advice my friend to talk to her ex about this why is she doing things like this? so after that my friend and his gf decided to call it quits LOLS. for me whats in the past is already in the past you just have to move on. so that you wont get caught in the situation like this. being friends with our ex'es is not wrong but we have to set limitations. cause we dont know if they have other motives in making friends with us.
@Thumper11 (662)
• United States
20 Nov 08
I think it depends on the situation and if the guy is being flirty or more with the ex. I have been in this situation quite a bit and I tend to get overly jealous.... So I can completely understand the jealousy issue with it, but if it is a harmless friendshship. If they just talk once a month or so just to check in and maybe offer each other advice or a shoulder to lean on through a tough time (especially if it was a long relationship). Then I see no harm..... If he's dissing you to hang with the ex, or they spend a lot of time together or there's something more to it, then I can fully understand freaking out. I would follow your gut. If it says that there's something not quite right, then you should probably have a talk about it.
@jolope (987)
• Philippines
20 Nov 08
i totally agree with you thumper11..but the old gf is not doing anything to make the new gf worry about her relationship with the bf..
the truth is..this is actually happening to my friend..and i dont want her to be upset about it..because i know for a fact that the bf and my friend are not talking for more than 1 year..
so its kind of weird and insane that the new gf would act that way..
so im wondering..maybe the bf still feels the same for my friend..
what do you think??
thanks for responding btw.. :)
@Thumper11 (662)
• United States
20 Nov 08
Could still be mildly interested...... or maybe he just don't want to stop being friends with his ex just because he has a new girl in his life. It really depends on the situation, the circumstances for breaking up, their ages, the friendship itself..... you never know, there are a thousand things that could effect any of this. And with men.... who knows... LOL! Men are really hard to figure out when it comes to these situations.
@rangics (1334)
• Philippines
20 Nov 08
Why on earth the new gf should make the fuss? I mean if she's confident enough about her bf (w/c happens to be my ex..), there's no need for her to worry about me...hmnnn, not unless if my ex's still have not gone over our relationship and he happens to keep on discussing our past to his new one..LOL!
Honestly, I give due respect to my ex's new relationships. I'm even happy for his (my ex's) new found love though sad to say, my ex's newest gf happens to dislike me a lot and I duno her reasons why?. I'm not even flirting with my ex and don't even bother to get in touch with him again.. (Duh?.)
It's really pathetic. I also happens to have a new bf now, I know he ( my current boo) have ex's too and I don't dig out all the details he have shared with them because they're already a part of his past. And geeshh, I'm confident enough that I am the most important person in his life now so I don't give a damn about his previous relationships..
*sigh!* 
Honestly, I give due respect to my ex's new relationships. I'm even happy for his (my ex's) new found love though sad to say, my ex's newest gf happens to dislike me a lot and I duno her reasons why?. I'm not even flirting with my ex and don't even bother to get in touch with him again.. (Duh?.)
It's really pathetic. I also happens to have a new bf now, I know he ( my current boo) have ex's too and I don't dig out all the details he have shared with them because they're already a part of his past. And geeshh, I'm confident enough that I am the most important person in his life now so I don't give a damn about his previous relationships..
*sigh!* 
@jstmarfz (1498)
• United States
20 Nov 08
Well that's normal thing for new gf. Me, as a new wife of my husband there are times I felt jealous to his ex wife. Same thing with current gf feels worried or jealousy with her bf's ex. You can't blame them. But if she's acting too much or making it a big issue, then that's not right. It might also lead for break ups.
@jolope (987)
• Philippines
20 Nov 08
i feel you jstmarfz..but the thing is, the old gf is already out of the picture..like the bf and the old gf are not talking anymore..
my friend is actually experiencing this..so i want to help her..
my friend is the old gf..so i dont want her to take it seriously because i know she's not bothering them..
@dhisaw (304)
• United States
21 Nov 08
The new gf hopefully realizes that the bf has had a past with old gfs. I know that my husband has had gfs in the past and I would not have any problem with him being friends with any of them until they wanted to cause problems with our relationship. The old gf has to realize the the guy has moved on with his life and is trying to have a relationship with someone new and that they need their time together and need to respect that. I know that one of my man's exs has tried to get in contact with him before and it has been since we have been together. Even since we have been married. It did not bother me. I had never talked to her or even met her until she called our house one day and I did not know whether or not she knew we were married. So all I said to her that I guess she took the wrong way was you know I am his wife right and she said yes but then later she told someone that I went off on her and that is the only thing I told her other than the fact that he was not at home at the time but he would be later.
@suzzy3 (8341)
•
20 Nov 08
HI She feels insecure in this relationship for some reason she feels she has to measure up to the ex.The ex should stay well away and not remain friends,all but a polite hello.she needs to be told how pretty she is,small presents, meals out ect.What was she like in other relationships maybe she is naturally jealous and feels threatened all the time.If this is the problem maybe she has had more ex's then most.From what you have written I would say the poor girl has a problem making relationships work or the ex is not off the scene in the true sense of the word.xxxx
@jolope (987)
• Philippines
20 Nov 08
so you're saying that the new gf might just be insecure??
haha
i think that the bf should also be responsible enough to tell the new gf that she shouldnt do things to bother the old gf..
he should assure the new gf that he is hers..
thanks for responding dozhou.. :)
@paw1194 (36)
• United States
20 Nov 08
I think its only an issue if he doesnt make it a point for the ex gf to meet the new gf. If theyre only friends then this shouldnt be an issue for anyone. I'm in a similar situation and this issue has come up and my only beef is why cant i meet her especially when we live in the same city.
@mona269 (133)
• Philippines
20 Nov 08
If I were the old GF, I'd stay clear of my ex's way.
Though there may be times when we might be thrown together
in one ocassion, like a reunion or a party with common friends,
I'd much rather not socialize with them to the hilt.
Small talk is fine. But after that, I'd much rather enjoy the night
than be bothered by the insecurities the current GF may have about me.
If she wants to erase whatever it is that came between
her boyfriend and me or worse if she thinks I still have the hots
for his boyfriend, well it's her problem not mine...
so why bother?
@maroseqf (3657)
• Philippines
20 Nov 08
I've had boyfriends before I got married and all of them had past relationships before we were boyfriend and girlfriend. Well, I can say that I am a jealous type of person. And there were times that I got jealous of the past girlfriends of my boyfriend. I don't exactly know the reason. Maybe, I was still immature that time to rely on past things. Now that I am married, I try to forget about the past relationships of my husband and focus more on our family because that is already HIStory. 
