Beware who you befriend
By zandi458
@zandi458 (28102)
Malaysia
November 20, 2008 2:22am CST
I was taken back when a friend I responded in good faith come back with an angry and rude reply. She did not read well my response or she did not grasp the whole meaning, what ever that makes her furious which she claimed she was not but being a season player here I can pick up the tone of her words that she was not happy with what I said. To effect her displeasure on my response she degraded my ranking by rating me negatively as I realized that my star rating dived immediately after she replied my response in her rude and angry tone. Why should I bother with that rating but I did not expect that my sincerity in responding to a friend become a torn in the flesh.
She bragged about being a good writer and earning good income from her talent and yet got banned from a certain site. I answered here diplomatically but that did not go down well with her.
I am a peace loving person and do not wish to create unnecessary confrontation with anyone here and I expect the same from all my friends. You might be angry but do not vent it on others here in full view of the world to see. It only smear a black paint on yourself as an angry person is an ugly person. I have learned my lesson to be very careful when someone request to be my friend. To you I say, beware who you approve to be your friends, she might be a wolf in a sheep skin!.
13 people like this
36 responses
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
20 Nov 08
there are alt of people on here like that zandi. i have run into alot of them. just because someone doesn't agree w/u it's no reason for them to do but they do. guess u find a$$holes every where yu go. i seem to. lol
3 people like this
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
20 Nov 08
that's true. they probably don't get to vent at home so they take it out on mylotters. cowardly way to be.
@quinnkl (1667)
• United States
20 Nov 08
Hopefully we all can take all responses as they are written. We all have different opinions, and we shouldn't take offense when someone expresses an opinion that is different than ours. Nor should we be so angry or vengeful if someone disagrees with us. Hopefully most of us read answers totally and take them as they come. I am sorry this happened to you. Anger doesn't bode well in responses or discussions.
3 people like this
@bombshell (11256)
• Germany
20 Nov 08
i agree with you pretty
.i have some like that but i just ignore it.i dont ruin my my days people like that coz it ruins my booty oppsssss my beauty i mean hahaha.
.
.i have some like that but i just ignore it.i dont ruin my my days people like that coz it ruins my booty oppsssss my beauty i mean hahaha.. 2 people like this
@bombshell (11256)
• Germany
20 Nov 08
thats the way to do it?
who is she? so that i will know and just to avoid her.
who is she? so that i will know and just to avoid her.2 people like this
@bombshell (11256)
• Germany
20 Nov 08
oppss forget to tell you look in my post about "flirting online" and someone asnwered but i dont even care coz its not worth it to fight for things like this.i know who is he or she
.the one who answered last.
.the one who answered last.2 people like this
@jackiew (915)
• Canada
20 Nov 08
I am sorry to hear about your experience.I don't know why people behave like that.We are all here posting and responding and we are certainly not going to agree with everything here.If a person has a different believe,they can politley share their opion without getting hostile.Keep your chin up my friend.There is alot more reasonable people here than there is hostile ones.I think.[lol]
@zandi458 (28102)
• Malaysia
20 Nov 08
That is suppose to be the way rather then acting like a barbarian with no sense of diplomacy. I can't understand why she doesn't have the courtesy to say something nice even if she did not agree with me but my respond was not in anywhere harsh or bad.
2 people like this
@swtpareek (650)
• United States
21 Nov 08
Hi! I have had certain very bad experiences with my friends. And to be frank none of them was my online friend but rather those of them who I have known in person! But there certainly are, as you said "Wolf in Sheep Skin". SO their behavior hurts me but does not stop me from making new friends. And another very good thing that my mom always tells me to follow is that with the experience you have had with one person don't judge the other people on the same basis! What you say is absolutely right that if you are angry with someone you shouldn't vent it out for the whole world to see! Don't feel bad about her behavior. People like her are present everywhere. We should never pay heed to them because in the end the thing that matters is what we are and people will always like us for that! :)
Keep smiling.
2 people like this
@zandi458 (28102)
• Malaysia
21 Nov 08
It will take me sometime to get to my normal rhythm after this incident. I have been kind and friendly to all my friends here and how could I expect that out of a sudden this lady spoil my perception of friends that are here. I would very much like to be everybody's friend but don't show me that arrogance and rude behavior. It agitate me. I can't accept I've been brushed off by people I consider my friend. Thanks for the good words. I think I am super sensitive in this case.
@zandi458 (28102)
• Malaysia
23 Nov 08
I am pleasantly surprise how I became an instant 'star' with the overwhelming response that I get from this post and the two posts that I submitted with this one.It kind of give me the feeling that we are all peace loving people in mylot except maybe a few black sheep and support each other when we are down and frustrated. Maybe every bad thing that happens good things prevail.
@swtpareek (650)
• United States
22 Nov 08
I can understand your feelings. All I can say to you is to get over with this soon. I know it will take some time. And look at the bright side! See the posts that you have received! Cheer up girl! See how many people out there are with you... Let that girl be the way she is! She will get paid one day for her rude behavior!
1 person likes this
@getnbuy (1312)
• United States
21 Nov 08
Some people are just like that. My daughter will blow off steam for no reason that I can see. she just starts in ranting. Its too bad that some people haven't matured enough to be more careful about what they say and do. Yes, I would avoid that person. I would defenitely take her off my friend list.
2 people like this
@maple_kisses (2156)
• Philippines
21 Nov 08
[i]That's really sad Zandi, she didn't even bother asking for an explanation if she didn't really grasped the meaning behind your words. She just then and then raged on you. Sad, but it happens alright. 
And yes, it's just ugly to rate you negatively when you are being sincere and just trying to help her see the light of the matter.
Oh well, I'm not really "careful" in approving friend request. I admit I automatically approve all friend requests without even investigating about the requester. I thought it was just fine to do that. But you're right at one point we should be careful as well.
Don't mind her though. I'm sure you're a nice person, she doesn't deserve much attention from you. Just move on from here... We really can't please everybody no matter how much we try.[/i]
And yes, it's just ugly to rate you negatively when you are being sincere and just trying to help her see the light of the matter.
Oh well, I'm not really "careful" in approving friend request. I admit I automatically approve all friend requests without even investigating about the requester. I thought it was just fine to do that. But you're right at one point we should be careful as well.
Don't mind her though. I'm sure you're a nice person, she doesn't deserve much attention from you. Just move on from here... We really can't please everybody no matter how much we try.[/i]@zandi458 (28102)
• Malaysia
21 Nov 08
she said 'i've go nothing against you' triggered my feeling that she misinterpreted what I said. My further explanations did not ease situations and I did not continue as she is stubborn and could not compromise. Exactly, we really can't please everybody.
1 person likes this
@fifileigh (3615)
• United States
21 Nov 08
i dont even know what my rate is here. i never bothered to notice. i am just chatting for fun to stuff i have experience in. this is the internet. u dont know who or what u r talking to. i know i dont. we r just trying to help one another grow in life wherever each is located in order to make each other's situation better.
2 people like this
@zandi458 (28102)
• Malaysia
23 Nov 08
that reminds me of internet friends who are good at inciting emotional feelings with superficial words which are only lip service. In fact if you are to go through to one my posts about affairs in internet you'll find a response where a guy admitted what he has done to many women he chat over the net. it is very scary. We can't take their words at face value, this is afterall the game they played in the virtual world.
@fifileigh (3615)
• United States
22 Nov 08
i know. but lots of these people are messed up and have messed up life. they are crying for help and attention from strangers they dont know.
that is why i dont want to meet anyone on the internet in real life, even though some seem friendly and likable. just keep them as pen pals.
1 person likes this
@6precious102 (4043)
• United States
23 Nov 08
I don't know why anyone would get so upset over opinions. Reading and responding with different opinions is what makes myLot fun.
@Margarit (3676)
• Philippines
21 Nov 08
Oh i dont experience like that, I dont really choose friends here but usually i invited them to be my friend if he/she responded to one of my discussion but if he/she dont respond to any of many discussion i dont think i can add them as friend. I believe that if he/she respond my discussion we have something in common or the same interest.
@glords (2614)
• United States
21 Nov 08
Wow she must have a lot of time on her hands to sabotage her fellow mylottians. I don't understand why anyone would do that sort of a thing. I personally never rate people down, unless they post something sexually explicit or profane... and then only if it in a discussion under the heading of religion.
@messageme (2821)
• United States
21 Nov 08
I have noticed that in alot of responses...people misunderstandig what someone else had said and be rude to them. I have learned myself already that you must be careful on the way you word somethings, because if you don't word it for everyone to understand then they take it the wrong way....so yes I agree if you get mad because of what someone wrote you shouldn't express it so everyone can see it.
Easy solution just simply email them and say this is how I took your response is that really what you meant because it didn't make me very happy....but that must be hard for some people to do. So she may be a good writer but obviously not a good comprehender or communication skills.
Sorry this happen to you.
2 people like this
@ButtercupGirl (14)
• United States
20 Nov 08
I am sorry you had to go through this. I'm new here and will choose my friends carefully. Thank you for the reminder.
2 people like this
@ButtercupGirl (14)
• United States
20 Nov 08
That's wise advice and I will proceed with caution and do my research. Take good care of yourself.
2 people like this
@rmuxagirl (7548)
• United States
20 Nov 08
you say in the last few lines to not vent it on others here in full view of the world to see. But that is exactly what you are doing, you should take your own advice and not vent your frustration on the site where she could undoubtly see. THat will only make matters worse.
@zandi458 (28102)
• Malaysia
20 Nov 08
I made this into a discussion to warn others that this matter can befall anyone and also to let her realize that what she did was against the principle of friendship. I think it does not make matter worse as she might not know she had hurt someone with her words. I hope she can explain herself here when she sees this post.
1 person likes this
@ESKARENA1 (18261)
•
20 Nov 08
its not just on here i have had this kind of response. I have recently been chatting to someone i met in another forum and we got on really well. However, she has got back with her boyfriend and has made it clear to me that she now has no time for me. I feel dejected and rejected all at once, guess we all have to get used to it. It seems that the internet is full of angry people
blessed be
2 people like this
@cassandralynn (1084)
• United States
20 Nov 08
The way I see it is that if somebody on you're friends list is giving you problems just delete them as a friend. Too bad myLots does not have a "Ignore" button like Myspace has. I would LOVE having a ignore option here on MyLot..lol.. I was always under the impression that we had the right to express ourselves here at MyLots but then I notice if a person does express their thoughts they are sometimes unexpectedly attacked by a fellow MyLot user. This has happened to me before when some people totally took me the wrong way and obviously did not read my comment, it's like they only read 4 words of what I said then twisted what I said then based a attack on me because of this distorted perception they have of me, rather silly I thought. You seem like a fair person Zandi and like to express yourself without trying to offend anyone,but some people will always try to find something bad in everything a person says even though nothing bad was said.
2 people like this
@zandi458 (28102)
• Malaysia
20 Nov 08
How could I afford to be bad here as my main purpose is to make friends and spend my free time sharing ideas and having a lot of fun interacting with many nice people all over. I have never rate others negatively as I do not like to see people unhappy after trying hard to get good ratings. well, I have deleted her from my friends list as I don't wish to meet here in any of her discussions or mine again. She might not be able to understand my 'alien' language here. lets put it that way.
2 people like this
@koalatbs (2229)
• United States
20 Nov 08
Yes, we all do need to be very careful who we befriend online in places like this and other sites, especially social networking sites. Everyone is a stranger and you do not know if everyone is being truthful about who they really are and/or their intentions. Yet, of course, it is still possible to make very good friends online with other people... just be very careful as I have heard many people who get hurt by others. I hope this does not happen to you again zandi458. Just try to take it in stride and forget about it. I know it is hard sometimes as it can be extremely frustrating. Sorry you ran into this problem with this particular person here on mylot. Sometimes it makes you take a step back and rethink if you really want to continue participating on sites like this, but try not to let it get you down and just continue being who you are and hopefully it will never happen again. Take care.
@zandi458 (28102)
• Malaysia
20 Nov 08
Good words from you encourages me to go on mylotting despite of what happened. I realize not everyone here is truthful and does not really appreciate response they receive. I would be more careful next time as not to simply respond to discussions.
1 person likes this
@savypat (20216)
• United States
20 Nov 08
Have you forgotten the delete button, all you do is use it on your friends list and away they go. Of course they can still respond and push the negative button on you. I guess that might be a flaw in the system. Good Luck Don't forget this is a virtual world.
2 people like this
@carmelsuarez (329)
• Philippines
20 Nov 08
I agree! we must be aware specially to our new found friend. To those friends that you have just met... but feeling very close to you. and to those friends who would always come with you whenever they knew you will buy them things or you are going shopping. And dont be to trustful. You dont know what will happen next.
2 people like this
