domestic

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this is very serious, how many of you have either witnessed or been apart of domestic violence,(victor ar victim) note however in my eyes there is no victor. I have heard men say "i had to hit her for she to behave her self" and ive heard women say "he just hit me one time and thats because he was vex" I would like to know if this is a norm for men to hit women once they have reached a piont where they cant explain themselves any more and rage builds and if women somehow gives a man that athourity,of so much in control that she submits her self to ill-treatment.can you relate to this or give advice in any way. thanks