What Do You Say To The Uninvited?
By Rainegurl
@Rainegurl (2156)
Philippines
November 22, 2008 9:15am CST
i saw a childhood friend today at the mall. we have not seen each other for years nor had any contact. we greeted each other warmly and talked for a while. then she suddenly said that she knew i recently got married and asked why i did not invite her. well, i got a little disconcerted and mumbled an some excuse.
i have always been amazed by those who can ask outright why they were not invited. i mean, if i was not invited in some event, i would not have the guts to ask why. i guess i just have too much pride (which is not good sometimes :-!)
anyway, i sometimes dread that statement: WHY WASN'T I INVITED? or YOU DID NOT INVITE ME. how do you answer that? say the honest reason? i want to be careful not to hurt somebody's feelings so what is the best reply to that?
Have a nice day!
8 people like this
9 responses
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
24 Nov 08
For a wedding you can say ...it was only a small wedding, just immediate family and long time family friends. I've asked why I wasn't invited to a friends 60th party and the guy (whose ex wife was once my best friend) became embarrassed and could not answer me.
What are the uninvited supposed to think??
@Rainegurl (2156)
• Philippines
26 Nov 08
hi, MsTickle
i guess you put him on the spot 
thanks and have a great day!
thanks and have a great day!
@aseretdd (13730)
• Philippines
23 Nov 08
I think it is rude to ask "Why i was invited" to someone... i can never do that because i respect the decision of the person... especially if i am not that close... or that the event was for family only...
There were weddings by close friends where i was not invited... but i never asked them why... but if i am confronted with that kind of question... then i would just say that it was and event meant for family and very close friends only...
@anaknitatay (1335)
• Philippines
23 Nov 08
this wuold be an awkward moment, hehe and a little diplomacy is in order unless this friend was a jerk and you don't care about his/her feelings:
just try to let them understand that if you could you would have invited them too but certain circumstances made it difficult. like: I really would have liked to have invited everyone of my friends but as much as we tried we could only afford this much people and we invited family only. or something like that...
)
) @Rainegurl (2156)
• Philippines
24 Nov 08
hi anknitatay
it depends on how you say it, right?
thanks and have a nice day!
@sk66rc (4250)
• United States
23 Nov 08
I don't ask that type of question because it's their decision. But on a same note, if someone were to ask me that question, I'd be honest about it. I don't do it to be mean, I feel they deserve an honest answer. I could careless if I get invited to "special occasions" or not. Sometimes it puts a burden on me to show up when I can't. Either way, I'd be honest with the person who's asking. Also, I usually leave an open invitation to people I know. If you can make it, great! If not, may be next time. I usually don't like someone nosing into my business. I didn't invite you for a personal reason, leave it at that. Or, I didn't show up for a personal reason, leave it at that. It's my reason & I don't feel that I owe anyone an explanation.
@Rainegurl (2156)
• Philippines
25 Nov 08
yup. our decisions must be respected. in turn, we must respect other people's decision.
thanks, sk66rc. have a great day!
@torchablazed (3218)
• Philippines
23 Nov 08
I would go for an honest answer but in a way not to be offensive on the other party, say I have made a few guest on my list for the reason that most of them are family members to people who cross my mind, I would ask for an apology that he/she wasn't invited since there are many of my friends too who I wasn't able to invite during the event. Contrarily, I would tell the person that surely he/she would be in the list the next time I would host a party !
@Rainegurl (2156)
• Philippines
24 Nov 08
thanks for sharing that, torchablazed.
have a nice day and see ya around!
@tammytwo (4298)
• United States
23 Nov 08
I guess I would try to be as honest as I could. I don't remember the last time anyone has said such a thing to me other than in a joking manner. I would never ask someone whay they didn't invite me to something. If they choose not to ask me to an event there must be a reason for it.
@Rainegurl (2156)
• Philippines
23 Nov 08
right, tammytwo
we just respect their decision, right? but i guess there are just some people who are, well, different.
thanks and take care!
@mansha (6298)
• India
22 Nov 08
I get zapped too by such outright questins and my kids have birthdays just two weeks apart from each other and they are still young to understand the concept of having a single party and each of them insist on having a seprate party so this year we slesected people who were close and invited them to one or the other but there was one persistent lady who actually came up to em and told me a month before the birthday that since she went out of town and has actually purchased gifts for the kids I should better plan a party and will I invite her. I had to you know. She said otherwise her gifts wil go waste. I would have invited her anyway but that attitude was too cute and when I think of it even now I just can not help laughing
@Rainegurl (2156)
• Philippines
23 Nov 08
hi, mansha.
LOL! yeah. i am amazed by her guts but she really is funny :-)
thanks and see ya around!
@koikoikeiji (356)
• Japan
23 Nov 08
CONGRATULATIONS!!! The best to both of you.
This is a very interesting discussion. I myself sometimes encounter things like this, and I got shocked when people asked me that questions. I cant imagine myself to asked a person that question. Anyway, I just answer, "sorry its a very small gathering" dont ever say "its for close family and friends only" some people misunderstood that. But if they still misunderstood you, it wont be your fault, they are just too sensitive................ Hope you find this helpful. Have a nice day.
@Rainegurl (2156)
• Philippines
23 Nov 08
hi, koikoi. thanks :-)
i guess you are right. honesty is the best policy. i can do that with some people. be frank but gentle right?
thanks friend.
take care!
