My friend got married
By suspenseful
@suspenseful (40193)
Canada
November 22, 2008 2:16pm CST
Yesterday, my friend got married to her former husband. She had a light almost white green dress that looked very lovely. So that brings up the conversation on second weddings. She did wear white the first time and she was married in a church. When I married my husband I was not allowed to wear white because I was not a virgin and had had a baby I gave up for adoption, so I missed out on that, and had to wear beige is like shouting I was a bad girl! rather then off white which would have made people think that maybe white did not suit my complexion. So I was wondering if my husband dies, and I want to marry again in the church, would white be all right, or would white with maybe a trim or sleeves or part of it in a different color?
Now my husband is still fairly healthy, so I am thinking years later, but he did have a stroke.
4 people like this
17 responses
@bombshell (11256)
• Germany
22 Nov 08
i gues the color does not matter at all since the new fashion has even read color for wedding and its cool if we use a different color its unqiue and fashionable.
2 people like this
@suspenseful (40193)
• Canada
29 Nov 08
It is back when I was married, only a virgin could wear white, but even then non virgins could wear white, but if you had a baby even if you did not keep her, you had to wear beige. not even off white.
@ellie333 (21016)
•
22 Nov 08
Hi Suspenseful, Glad to hear your husband is still healthy and you are not trying to bump him off so you can remarry someone else. I never look good in white so I would go with a cream dress of some sort. I know you never got chance to wear white the first time so these days anything seems to be allowed so if it is white you want go for it. I personally on a second wedding would probably go for something simple in a pastel colour of some sort with bolder colpurs in the flowers. Huggles. Ellie :D
@rocketj1 (6955)
• United States
22 Nov 08
Unless there are rules about such things in your particular denomination or a preference of the pastor who is to marry you, You can wear whatever you would like when you get married. Color is only a tradition thing and is not a "RULE" to follow in order to be married.
2 people like this
@glords (2614)
• United States
23 Nov 08
I think you should wear white if that is what you want. In fact I think you should have worn white to your first wedding if that was your desire. Society can't tell you what to wear on your special day, after all, its your day, not theirs. If you ever happen to find yourself making plans for another wedding, I would do whatever your heart desires. The wedding is a way to express you feelings, so express what you feel.
Personally I think everyone should be able to wear white on their wedding day, no matter their past. Its a symbol of purity, and no matter what choices you've made, a marriage is a clean slate. You're entering it fresh with no baggage, so why dress like you are bringing something with you?
1 person likes this
@suspenseful (40193)
• Canada
24 Nov 08
That was one of the reasons I left that church. I was baptized and forgiven for all my sins, and if they only forgave me for certain sins, such as smoking too much, then that church was not the true church.
@glords (2614)
• United States
24 Nov 08
That's interesting. In my religion baptism washes away all of your sins. If you sin again after baptism you can become clean again through repentance. The atonement of Christ paid the price for all of our sins. All we have to do to free ourselves is to ask Christ to forgive us, and promise not to do it again.
1 person likes this
@suspenseful (40193)
• Canada
24 Nov 08
So you can see why I am ambivulent. I do not want my husband to die and yet if he were to and I could meet another, I would want to wear white. I mean it is a terrible thing to be in. Had I been allowed to wear white then, I would be very happy that he and I live to be a ripe old age, but as it is --- 
@cunningham220 (3)
• United States
22 Nov 08
i know that its tradition for a virginal first time bride to wear white and so on... but in my opinion a bride should be able to wear a dress that is full of multi colored polka dots if thats what she wants! they always say that the day of the wedding is for the BRIDE... right? hey on my wedding day... i just wore a nice white button shirt and jeans...(we took our 3month old son and snuck off without telling anyone and got married in a park....) and we decided that if we make it to our 5year anniversary that we will have a big fancy wedding... which im sure we will... its already been 2 years.... and although its rough we are still going pretty strong! :)
2 people like this
@suspenseful (40193)
• Canada
29 Nov 08
I wanted to get married in the park, but there was a strike on at the time.
@mtdewgurl74 (18151)
• United States
23 Nov 08
I think that someone should be able to wear any color they wanted when they get married. In this day and times it shouldn't matter. My mom re-said her vows last year and she wore all white and she said it was the first time she ever wore white in any of the 4 marriages she had. She said she didn't even wear white on her first marriage even though she was a virgin. I was married in black/hot pink flowered dress when I was 16. So if you were to get married again I feel that you should be able to wear whatever color you choose. If I ever re-say my vows or remarry I want to be married in a Ivory color or cream because I didn't get the chance at a new nice wedding dress when I first married because of money problems.
1 person likes this
@danishcanadian (28953)
• Canada
22 Nov 08
What the heck do you mean you were not ALLOWED to wear white? Who did not allow you to wear white? I know plenty of non-virgins who wore while. Mind you I wore red, but that's only because I hate white dresses. That's just me. If you want to wear a certain colour it is not up to someone to tell you you can not. You want white? You wear it!
1 person likes this
@suspenseful (40193)
• Canada
24 Nov 08
I had my dress made and I was brought to believe that if you were not a virgin, you could not marry in white. They already had the material selected and just brought me a beige and a yellow selection. That was back in the 70s. And to top it all off, that church did not allow church weddings so we had to go to the marriage commissioner and I felt I was in Communist Russia through all the ceremony they had.
@reinydawn (11643)
• United States
23 Nov 08
Now, for my first wedding, I didn't wear white either - I was pregnant at the time although we didn't find that out until later. But, I didn't feel right wearing when when I didn't fit the bill - so to speak. I wore off-white because that was pretty standard.
Now for my 2nd wedding (different husband) I wore pale green. Mostly because I wasn't a virgin - both of my grown children present kinda negated that idea. But also because green is my favorite color, this was MY day and I wanted a dress that I liked.
I don't really think it's the color that matters, but the occasion... Be happy and if white makes you happy, do it!
1 person likes this
@slickcut (8141)
• United States
25 Nov 08
The days when women were bound by white dresses only if they were Virgins are in the past..Now days women can get dressed in whatever color they choose..regardless of their virginity..Most girls that marry today (in White)are not virgins anyway.So if you ever are in the the situation to ever marry again,by all means if you want (white) go for it....
1 person likes this
@suspenseful (40193)
• Canada
29 Nov 08
That I will. It will be after all my first Church wedding so in effect I will be a virgin to the walking down the aisle experience.
@anneshirley (1516)
• Philippines
23 Nov 08
As far as I know, white is a traditional color for a wedding gown, virgin or not. So I wonder, why did they not allowed you to wear white? Is that one rule of your church? I am just confused because here, even if the bride is pregnant, they are still wearing white. If you'd like to wear white on your wedding day then do so. It's your wedding not theirs!
@coffeecoffee310 (69)
• China
23 Nov 08
She got married with her former husband? Oh my gosh! I've never heard this before! I didn't know what she should wear! It was a good thing anyway!
@suspenseful (40193)
• Canada
24 Nov 08
She had worn white for her first wedding, and in that case, I think that she can wear any other color. But if one is forbidden to wear white at their first, I think they can wear white because if one is not allowed to wear white at the first wedding, it makes people believe that the man did not really love her, that he was just being a nice man, and doing it out of the goodness of his heart.
In other words, it gives a wrong message.
@izathewzia (5134)
• Philippines
23 Nov 08
I also wanted to have a church wedding. My bestfriend always told me and my husband about it. That we should receive God's blessing. We agree to that. So soon or as time permits, we will.
@Nhey16 (2518)
• Philippines
23 Nov 08
does your tradition on the color of the dress would still be applicable on your second marriage? if you really want white dress, i guess, it's up to you to decide coz you'll be the one to wear your gown. you may wed again your hubby. on your 10th year, or 20th year.
1 person likes this
