Finding the right Partner.
By Pose123
@Pose123 (21635)
Canada
November 23, 2008 7:39pm CST
There are so many relationships that fail to stand the test of time, it might be a good idea if we spent some time getting to know ourselves before getting involved in a serious relationship with another. I think the best idea would be to get to know the kind of person that we are and what we really want from life. Another idea would be to become self supporting, that would get rid of the thought of having to rely on someone else in that sense. Make sure that we love ourselves otherwise we will never be able to love another. We live in a time when relationships can unfold at a pace that is right for us and many people are waiting longer before becoming committed to that special someone. If a relationship doesn't work out as we hoped it would, remember it has helped us in the sense that we have learned from it. Some people find the right partner early in life, for others it may come much later. Remember there is no right or wrong way and there is no time line that we have to follow.We must follow our heart and listen to our inner voice, but above all else remember that the journey to finding the right relationship begins in being in a right relationship with ourselves.
6 people like this
16 responses
@jillhill (37354)
• United States
24 Nov 08
Like they say....you can't love someone else until you love yourself and I do think this is true. I think of how many people are so very unhappy with themselves and try to find someone to make them happy....but the trick is that you alone can do that...then you can love someone and be happy with them!
3 people like this
@Erssyl (617)
• Philippines
24 Nov 08
All what you said is true.We should learn to love ourself before we love another.Knowing what you do not want others to do unto you is another important factor in any relation.But the most important thing is that both of you believes in God.And He is always in your middle.All relationships ca never fail and can stand even the tough test of time if both have the same belief.We do not have to take along journey finding the right soul mate if we only believe and trust God.
2 people like this
@ronaldinu (12422)
• Malta
30 Nov 08
This post comes from the mouth of a wise men full of life experience. Thanks for posting this dicussion. I do share your belief that we should spent some time to get to know ourself before getting committed with someone else. © ronaldinu 2008
1 person likes this
@williamjisir (22819)
• China
3 Jan 09
Hello dear Pose. It is well said that the journey to finding the right relationship begins in being in a right relationship with ourselves. I quite agree with it because only when we have made it clear the right relationship can we find the right partner. It is a very thoughtful and helpful discussion. Happy New Year to you, friend.
1 person likes this
@poohgal (6845)
• Singapore
25 Nov 08
Thanks for the words of wisdom. I agree with you.
I am still waiting for my inner voice to talk and waiting for that person to enter my life. If no such person exists, I rather stay single. I don't believe in going into a relationship or getting married just for the sake of it.
1 person likes this
@mrsgoode2008 (28)
• United States
24 Nov 08
You are absolutely right, although some people take the concept of not having a time line to find love to the extreme, causing them to fall into bad relationship after the next. So I would say that they should evaluate first before jumping in.
Some times what our heart wants, isn't what our heart needs.
1 person likes this
@sudiptacallingu (10879)
• India
24 Nov 08
Yes, before knowing anybody else, we must first know ourselves, our limits, our ambitions, our wants and needs, even our cruelty and selfishness. In this age of free mixing, kids knowing each other since school have gone on to get married and then divorced within a year. So before knowing the partner, we should look at ourselves straight in the eyes in the mirror. Self supporting is good but it should not become the ambition of life. What I mean is that in trying to become self-sufficient, we must not let our ego come into our relation. Also loving oneself should not be to an extent that narcissism creeps in and breeds selfishness. Many marriages have broken up coz of the ‘I, me, mine’ factor. I think both partners need to compromise a little more, sacrifice a little more and love each other a little more than they do themselves.
1 person likes this
@Pose123 (21635)
• Canada
24 Nov 08
Hi sudiptacallingu, Thank you for your thoughts on this. When speaking of self love I did not mean narcissism, but I do believe in a healthy self respect including the belief that we are capable of taking care of our own needs. Both partners in a relationship should not only love but also respect each other. Blessings.
@bdugas (3578)
• United States
24 Nov 08
Yes I totally agree with you, if we don't know our selves and are not secure in our own life how can we hope to make a relationship with someone else. I myself have found that not knowing really what I want before jumping into a relationship caused problems for me because I could not be happy depending on someone else for what I needed and having to do it their way not mine in order to survive. Being independant is the most important, not having to depend on someone else for what we need. Then when the relationship goes sour we are left with no way to survive. If people waited longer to jump right into a relationship till they was mature enough to handle it there probably would be less failed marriages and fewer babies with only one parent.
1 person likes this
@Mirita (2668)
• United States
25 Nov 08
If we find our soul mate is easy to have a successful marriage.
I have been married for almost 23 years ,and my husband is not
only the love of my life ,but my best friend. We are both so
much alike ,and we are both from different cultures.
1 person likes this
@positiveminded1977 (7072)
• India
24 Nov 08
I feel that a relationship ought to be as effortless and beautiful as a flower blooming. Any relationship that requires a struggle to keep it afloat is not really a relationship. It just creates a lot of stress, and you are better off without it.
Cheers and happy mylotting
1 person likes this
@Pose123 (21635)
• Canada
24 Nov 08
Hi positiveminded, Thank you for commenting. I realize that there is nothing about romance in my discussion, but that doesn't mean I don't think it's important. I know that sometimes relationships come effortless as you say and that is beautiful. I think however that we need to mix a little common sense with it and not rush into a relationship based only on infatuation, which is often the case. Blessings.
@mercuryman3a (2477)
• India
24 Nov 08
I wonder why so many relationshis fail. it is not so importnat to find the right partner as it is to make each relationship work. Most relationships fail because of rigid attitudes and unwillingness to make concessions. we want the other perosn to do things as per our desires but are notwilling to change ourselves to adapt to our partner. If we mould ourselves and make a relationship last, it will lead to greater happiness. there is greater happinesing ingiving than in taking.
1 person likes this
@BlueGoblin (1829)
• United States
24 Nov 08
I'm content with living with almost any female as long as she gives me 23 hours of space. The other remaining hour can be used for love making and dinner talk.
1 person likes this
@rsa101 (38166)
• Philippines
24 Nov 08
I too have to agree with you there. As the song say, "The greatest love of all is learning to love yourself". That is really true as many have misconstrued that loving is dependent on other people. What is right thing to do is learn to love yourself and when you have lots of it in your heart then its time that you share that love of yours to others and that is the only time that you will feel the true bliss. It should always start from within us.
1 person likes this
@Grandmaof2 (7579)
• Canada
24 Nov 08
Boy do you ever have the right idea of life and know the true meaning of a healthy relationship. This is words of wisedom we could all take a lesson from. Good for you my dear friend.
1 person likes this
