What are you staring at?
By hibiscus_mel
@hibiscus_mel (719)
United States
November 24, 2008 11:28am CST
I was waiting for my husband who was falling in line in a grocery store. I was wondering how come there were too many people buying groceries that day when out of nowhere a woman was asking me why I was staring at her? I didn't know what to say. Oh my oh dear, I really felt insulted! I don't even have friends in this place then all of a sudden somebody asked me why I am staring at them? True I was blankly staring at her but I don't think I was hurting her. When was the last time you got hurt by someone's stare? How would you react to such stupid comment? anyone care to share ideas with me?
2 people like this
6 responses
@craftcatcher (3699)
• United States
24 Nov 08
I don't think it was a stupid comment. Staring is a very threatening aggressive behavior and though you weren't doing it for that reason she couldn't have known that. Her concern was legitimate from her point of view. She was only doing what comes naturally when anyone feels threatened, she became defensive.
I have had a similar situation. I was at the mall and I was trying to look up at the clock on the wall to see what time it was. I had to squint my eyes because I left my glasses in the car. There was a woman shopping over in that direction. I didn't even realize she was there until she caught my attention when she started walking toward me. She was very angry and said "Why are you giving me dirty looks, do I know you?" I kind of laughed and explained to her that I wasn't looking at her at all, I was trying to read the clock on the wall behind her and I had left my glasses in the car so I had to squint to see it. We both had a good laugh about it and there was no hurt feelings at all after I explained.
Sometimes you have to look at things from the other persons point of view. It helps to understand their behavior better and can be helpful in avoiding uncomfortable situations.
1 person likes this
@hibiscus_mel (719)
• United States
24 Nov 08
I am a very friendly person who never expected somebody to ask me that question. I never had the chance to tell her anything because she was on her way out from the grocery store and I was just standing there. Never in my life had I expected people would asked me such question. I was in some kind of shock. I understand life's diversity but still if I was on her feet I would never asked other people what they are staring at because I dont like to offend people. Whatever happened to her life to make her feel offended of a stare. May God bless her soul.
Thanks for the comment.
@deedeehall (1144)
• United States
28 Nov 08
this lady must have had other problems .i probably would have smiled and said hello.
@hibiscus_mel (719)
• United States
30 Nov 08
Yes, I think she does have problem with her appearance. I should have done that but things happened too quickly that I was not really able to smile or react or anything like that. I just stood there and did nothing.
@vivasuzi (4127)
• United States
24 Nov 08
That is a dumb comment b/c most of the time people in a daze are just looking ahead, not especially starring at someone. If I've turned to see someone "starring" at me, a lot of times i catch their gaze, and they suddenly realize it and they turn away or something, I know they weren't starring at me.
If someone said that to me, I'd probably just say "oh sorry i wasn't paying attention" or something like that. I wouldn't take it personal, even though that lady seems to be taking it personal.
@hibiscus_mel (719)
• United States
30 Nov 08
Thanks for the comment. I do appreciate that you felt somehow I felt.
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
17 Apr 09
it was a stupid comment. she must have been up to no good or has a guilty conscience about something. people never cease to amaze me. i probably would have said something tavky knowing me, lol.
@jessi0887 (2788)
• United States
24 Nov 08
Something like that would of made me go off. I would of replied 'Certainly not you because your not worth even glancing at'. I don't take people that are rude.
@hibiscus_mel (719)
• United States
24 Nov 08
She flew out of the grocery door and in shocked I never realy said anything.
@telyva (6)
• United States
24 Nov 08
I used to stare a lot when I was younger and would often stare off in the lunchroom at the doors watching all the other students come in. Well my friends started calling me a lesbian because I watched all the girls come in. But whatever, it didn't really bother me because I knew what was the truth. I've also had a few girls come up to me and ask me the same thing and I just shrug and say that I was staring in their direction but I wasn't staring at them. I tend to daydream and stare blankly a lot. I've gotten used to people asking me such questions. I would just be like I wasn't staring at you I was staring in your direction. I swear some people are so sensitive and think that everyone is staring at them. I mean if someone's staring at you it's not hurting you.
And I wasn't technically hurt by anyone staring at me, but when I graduated I was at this bar with my mom. We decided to go to Karaoke and we were having fun and I went to go sing and this one guy who was really drunk kept looking at me and told me to take my clothes off. My mom nearly ripped his throat out ;).
@hibiscus_mel (719)
• United States
24 Nov 08
Wow! Your experience with that guy seem much more horrifying. Good thing your mom was there for you.;-)