how to deal with the relation between mother and wife

It has been drilled into my head, partially my own doing, that even if I am wrong, I apologize. It doesn't matter, if you are fighting with someone older then you, they are right... They should be respected, you can think what you wish about you being right, but don't utter it, just let the older one have their views and speak them too. I wouldn't ever say anything bad about my mother in law or disagree with her without first making it clear that I'm not saying she's wrong... I would put my opinion in, and let her elaborate on hers or on what she feel's I am trying to say with mine... This must be a tough situation for you, I'm sure. I hope that your wife will apologize to your mother lest a fight start up. It's one thing to be stubborn, but it's another to be stubborn and disrespectful to the people you live with.

I guess the best way for you to avoid a lot of fights between your wife and your family is to stay away from them. Have your own house and home and live separately from any of your family's sides. That way you will be on your own and you will not be torn between your wife and your mother. I guess every married people must have their own lives apart from their biological families to avoid conflict and at the same time to have privacy.

woo...u are really in a delimma. its always difficult to manage well with the relationship of mom and wife. i know u wouldn;t like to hurt either your wife or your mom, just disagree with u that u simply ask your wife to appologize cos she were reluctant to do it. u need to talk more to your wife and make her to communicate with your mom often. u know, no one is wrong with these affairs sometimes that may be brought by misunderstand, and all they need are to be more forgiven,tolerant as well as understanding. Little things that seems to be such a bother are no longer big deal....

Well perhaps she ISN'T wrong?? i refuse to apologize for anything that i have NOT done wrong. Sit and talk with your wife and ask her why it is she feels your mother has done wrong to her. Perhaps you will see that neither is wrong rather it is a misunderstanding or something. Don't make your wife feel like you want to force her to apologize. Would you really want her to apologize and not mean it also the whole time resenting you for making her do it? She will not only start to feel bad feelings towards your mom but towards you as well and trust me nothing is worse than feeling someone you trust (husband OR wife) doesn't care enough to think about your feelings.