Be very careful about what you wish for....

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What a way to start my first post....I hope I am doing this right,if not I am atleast venting my feelings some.. I am not wanting to cook or socialize for the holiday and sink down in my cacoon....I am dreading it so much.I know I will have atleast a day or more tied up in preparing a meal ..and it will all be over in ten maybe fifteen minutes time.Our kids aren't coming,they got ill over money and have decided to punish us by staying away(for the second yr) we cooked last year and they were no shows,we had lots of left overs believe me.....How do you cook a turkey for two people? We debated on going out,but he says then there are no left overs to sneak in and get out of the frig..after the kitchen has been cleaned... Normally we have 16 people,we have 3 kids(and their spouses) and 6 grandkids plus a couple we usually invite to share our holiday.... I always had everything ready to sit down and eat when they arrived and usually it was left to me to clean up afterwards,I would always joke about it being to much on one person and was going to pass it on to one of the girls. I would be exhausted and just want to put my feet up after cleaning everything,when I would finally finish,the first of them would be getting ready to leave,and I really did not get to visit and see the grandkids,plus our friends would be leaving to go by and visit with someone else for coffee and desert..My hubby and I would always end up alone,on the sofa with my poor tired feet in his lap and he swearing I was not going to do it next year because it was not appreciated and they did not realize what was involved in preparing such a meal. Now I am here with the turkey and all the trimmings and what I would give to have all of them staggering in with grandkids laughing and giggling and coats piled high in a corner with the dog hiding to get out of the way....and all the cleaning to do....and my tired feet! Even our friends have decided not to come,because they do not want us to do it for them. My Thanksgiving prayer every year was always giving thanks that all my loved ones were with us that year and to keep them safe and bring us all back together to celebrate next year...My prayer is that they are still safe and enjoy their holiday and wish I could see the grandkids..and yes we have tried to make amends..they are not ready..I pray they will be sooner or later... If there is someone you love and you aren't speaking too...make an effort to close the gap..you have no idea how it effects people that love you...We have 2 Thanksgivings and it looks as tho we will also have 2 Christmas' that we can never get back,and our kids will not realize what they took from us,until they are older we are not here anymore..