What would you do if a friend was acting totally insane?

T-t-t-ten Years?!? Wow... I didn't know that. Sigh... then it is going to be one tough task to talk your friend around. Other than constantly repeating to her and making her see reason, there is no other way. If I were in your shoes, I would let the husband know of her thought and tendancy so that he can keep a lookout for anything out of the norm. It would be so dangerous for him should she get into one of her irrational moods and decide to really carryout her threats. Regrets afterward would be too late! If the husband and her sons can convince her to get some medical counselling or help, the would be best. Hope she can get out of it soon.

I've tried that, ahgong, unsuccessfully. Menopause can go on for up to 10 years! Unfortunately, everyone I know who has gone through it or is going through it now have been able to take hormone replacement therapy and didn't go through the horrible mood swings that my friend is going through. I have tried to get it through her head that it's menopause causing her to think and act the way she's been, but she constantly disagrees. I've tried to remind her that she's never behaved this way before but she doesn't care about that; she says she has good reason to act this way. She believes that everything her husband does with good intentions, just to make her feel better, has some kind of evil, underlying motive. (She's paranoid.) She told me that she has already punched him in the face with her fist! I can't imagine what he would do to cause that. I've known him almost as long as I've known her. He's been nothing but good to her. I also tried to get her to join myLot... nope. She claims she doesn't have the time. She has always hidden her pain with anger. I've always been able to calm her down in the past but now she's gone beyond reasoning with. She's actually become violent (which she never was before) and I'm very worried about what she might do. I'm going to call her husband where he works today and see if he'll talk with me about this. He probably will because he usually tells her to call me when she gets in one of her moods since he knows that I can usually calm her down and make her see reason. I think he needs to be made aware of what she has told me. SOMETHING needs to be done before she kills someone! I'm truly afraid that she might! Even if she needs to be committed to a mental institution for awhile, so be it! That's better than being committed to prison for the rest of her life, not to mention the fact that she could ruin the lives of many people, not just the person she kills. I wish she'd listen to reason, but she won't. I'm going to take the advice of my second response here. That seems the most sensible to me in this situation. Thanks for your concern and advice, ahgong!

Thanks! You made me realize that I can call her husband where he works and talk with him. I don't have his number but I know where he works so I'm sure I can get in touch with him. I hadn't thought of trying to talk to HIM because she always answers the phone at home. Yes, he has been a wonderful husband to her. He worked two jobs at one time, with a few other side jobs when he got the opportunity. He's always done what was needed for his family. He bought a shell of a house and turned it into a home for them. I've never seen a man work harder for his wife and children... without complaining! I'm going to call him tomorrow. Thanks so much for your advice! That's what I asked for and I'm very thankful that you took the time to share your opinion. I really am scared for that whole family!

I'll let you know what her hubby says after I've spoken with him. This is just too horrible for all involved! Right before Thanksgiving, too. She really DOES have a lot to be thankful for... I wish she would see that.

Don't worry, I'm doing something. That's why I posted this. I just didn't know WHAT to do! I tried contacting her husband this morning but he wasn't at work. I'm going to call a crisis hotline number myself and ask them what I should do. I know to take this seriously because, even though she's always had a temper, she's never been anywhere near this bad before! She has never even threatened to HIT her husband before! I also know what menopause can do to some women. As soon as I calm down from my own morning with the doctor, I'm calling the crisis hotline. They should be able to either guide me in what to do next, or be able to take over from here. Thanks for your advice.

well good for you. I really hope everything works out for you and your friend and her family. you really are really a great friend to go out on a limb like this to make sure she, and her family are safe and get the help they will need. please keep me posted

I'm trying to convince my friend to go see her doctor again and let him know about her latest "symptoms". It could be something as simple as some supplements to get her back on track. Right now, she's been cooking all day. That is her therapy. She LOVES to cook and feed everyone, so she's had a pretty good day today. I just hope she isn't planning to put poison in her husband's food! I doubt it, though. I think she's going to get through tomorrow okay, at least. I'm calling a crisis center either tomorrow or Friday to see what they can tell me. I'm almost convinced this is caused by menopause and there HAS to be something that can help her since she cannot take hormone pills. We'll see. Thanks for your advice.

She has a ton of health issues that don't allow her to take certain medications. She had pancreatitis which left her with severe diabetes and she's also had 3 strokes. She's already on about 9 different meds. I know she can't take hormone replacement therapy (estrogen) nor can she take certain antidepressants. I wish I could get her to see her doctor, but I can't force her! She's a grown woman. I tried calling her husband where he works but was unable to reach him because they are closed for half a day today and I just got back from the doctor's office myself and getting my meds for this infection. I'll call her tonight and see, once again, if I can convince her to go see her doctor. I'll even volunteer to go with her! That's a mighty long drive for me, 220 miles round trip, but if it helps to prevent her from doing something she'll regret for the rest of her life, I'll do it.

you are a wonderful friend dear and shes lucky to have you.

Ummm, thanks. I think a straightjacket might work better at this point. She's bigger than I am so I'm not going to slap the you know what out of her. Her husband is just not the kind of guy who would raise a hand against anyone, so he's not going to do it. Nope, the men in the white coats are needed right now... maybe some Thorazine.