Missing equals Depression
By mae1216
@mae1216 (658)
Philippines
November 28, 2008 8:37am CST
A week ago, I was still living with my mom and dad in a country in middle east. I stayed there for 1 and half year. I got job, money and career that I want. Then, I fall in love, from there, everything started to be not right. My parents are not allowing us to see each other since it is a non open country and not safe for us to have a relationship. Then I decided to have a break few months after I had a relationship, we went home (to our country), engaged and got a secret marriage. Everything was seems alright until I get back to abroad and my parents are still seperating us. Emotionally, it was really difficult. I love them both but I can't choose. Then, me and my husband decided to tell them the truth. My dad, decided to send me back to my home country and cancel my return visa. Now, I feel all alone, I can't be with my husband and also my parents. Plus, I loose my career. But what can love do? All I need is to trust. It is just a trial to us and after these we will live happily forever. right?
10 responses
@Ithink (9980)
• United States
28 Nov 08
You have to do what feels right to you. I can tell you thou that my mom didnt like my husband to be when she met him. I made a choice and that was him and love. Today, 24 years of marriage and 26 years of being together, I know I made the right choice AND she loves him too now! She said she couldnt have a better son-in-law. So it worked for us and Im so glad I made my choice to stick with the one that I loved and still love.
Another thing is, do you feel that it is worth fighting for?
@Ithink (9980)
• United States
30 Nov 08
Well then I see it as you have a couple of choices, wait until they accept him and will allow you to be with him (if that occurs), take the plunge and be with him and hope that they will come around and realize that it makes you happy or forget it all together and forget him.
@mae1216 (658)
• Philippines
29 Nov 08
It is a worth fighting for...but still guilt over my parents. But he is a guy who will do everything to make our relationship works, and to make our family with love and care. I have no doubt of marrying him. But, as a daughter, its hard to accept everything just like that.
@thedogshrink (1266)
• United States
28 Nov 08
I'm sorry for the situation you're in. Now that you are in your home country, can't your husband join you there and then you'll stay together?
I can understand your parents worrying about your safety, but it just seems that leaving that Middle East country is the best thing to do?
Can you restart your career in your home country?
@mae1216 (658)
• Philippines
29 Nov 08
I am trying to look for a new career here home but I am going to join my hubby soon (months from now) that is why I am having a hard time whether to start a new career at home now or wait till I get back to the same country. I am really having a hard time pleasing my dad but me and my mom, we talk.
@gbemoo4tyy (59)
• Nigeria
29 Nov 08
i love ur courage! u r very right... u can now start a move to bring ur hubby to ur country if u still really need him around .. am sure he still longing for u..
@rgenzon (44)
• United States
28 Nov 08
You know what? youre situation is really hard. you were at the peak where you love your life and suddenly you didnt get all of that constantly. its sort of sad to say but if you really value your parents, you just have to follow them. but also, if you love your husband. you wont let your parents intimidate nor ruin your marriage. i mean, its not easy we know that. but your parents have to understand you both.. maybe if you really wanna be stable.. just go and live with your husband and start a new life.. maybe from there, your parents would trust you if they would see that youre doing good in your life
@mae1216 (658)
• Philippines
29 Nov 08
I am moving soon to live with him( my husband) but i felt that the days were too long to be with him. And, specially we can not make it to Christmas, New year and my Birthday. And, yes, I still hope that once they have seen me and my husband having a better life, then they will never regret what I did.
@anjalisharma_iipm (805)
• India
29 Nov 08
yes you have just this option left...but according to me we cant trust boys when you will be far from each other he will feel alone and get in relationship with other. so becarefull you cant just allow your situations to leads some bad done.
@marty3888 (2355)
• Acme, Michigan
28 Nov 08
I hope so. I am lucky that my family does very much accept my partner. But I was ina situation that, for a long time I didn't have anyone. I was in my fourtys and still living with my mom. Then I met someone. I was 44. I figure I probably won't live til I'm 88 so more than half of my life was over so even if no one in my family liked her, I still would have stayed with her. It would have been hard, I admit, but if I let this one go, who knows when I would have found someone.
we now have a house together and yesterday we went to my sister's for thanksgiving.
I wish parents would put their kids happiness over personal opinions of the one they choose.
@mae1216 (658)
• Philippines
29 Nov 08
My parent's were close to me before, but not to the point that I can share problems to them. But that is not my point, what I am after is that what I felt to this special person is only once in a life time and I don't want to regret it if I will let a chance to loose him. But still, guilt is inside me over my parents. They have a lot of expectations from me.
@cryw0lf (1302)
• United Kingdom
28 Nov 08
Theres a point in most peoples lives where their parents don't agree, and unfortunately your disagreement is quite a big one.
I'm not as close to my parents as i guess you are, but if "I" were you, i would tell my parents to screw off and tell them i don't give a damn what they think. My partner makes me happy and thats all that matters- if they don't want to see me happy then they can p*ss off for all i care.
I'd always-always pick love over my parents.
But hey, thats just me.
I'm sure you'll make the right choice. Just think about it very carefully.
@besthope44 (12123)
• India
8 Oct 10
Most time, its my work..with ontime deliveries and work loads. I try to divert mind on music and i feel better. We need to manage depression, as it is part of life in busy world.
But if we concentrate, we can manage it. I does it through my yoga, listening music and going out on vacation.
@besthope44 (12123)
• India
6 Oct 10
Well true, it will cause the nervousness on brains and makes to fear about the results and hence the focus is lost and hence gets into poor performance
