I'm done throwing Birthday Parties

i find it surprising that it ended up this way. how did you send the invites? thru mails, sms or emails? I mean, if i am having an event, i would like to confirm attendance and it is only polite or basic to call and find out if the person is coming to do a RSVP a few days after i had sent out the invites. Also, prior to the day itself, i would send a SMS to remind them of the event so that they would come. At least i think be able to secure a 90% attendance. I mean some time, pp do pay more attention to a invite that is done or invite more personally rather than one without a follow up. So i am not in a position to comment for your situation unless, the manner in which the invites is carried out is stated

Though it wasn't a total disappointment - there was a sizeable number of kids though the percentage based on the number of invitations I sent out were less....yes, the goody bags were left over (I'm using the pencils almost 5 years later!!) and lots of food. This happened for my older son's 5th birthday. I had sent out invitations with RSVP (Regrets only) to make it easier ...they didn't need to call and let me know unless they were not coming (well, no problem in letting me know if they were coming either). Anyways, only 2 parents called to let me know their kids wouldn't be able to make it, I went ahead with my plans under the assumption that everyone else were turning up......and there were just 3 kids from his class that turned up....fortunately, we had the apartment kids turn up in full swing....but that was a wider age group. He had fun...so it was okay. At that point, I had asked him once to get the phone numbers of the parents of his classmates...but he was too young to copy down all their numbers...and not all people had cell phones and most kids didn't know their parents' numbers. But a few months back when I planned the little one's 3rd birthday, I made it a point to call up each parent myself and make sure they were coming or not because this time, I was paying per head! And can you imagine that a parent said she would be bringing her daughter over...we even spoke the morning of the party...and she didn't turn up!!!! And didn't even have the decency to call and let me know...we kept waiting for her to cut the cake. Some people, I say! Except for the little one's bday that we celebrated when he was 3 and old enough to understand, most of the parties I plan for the older one are theme parties...so a lot of work goes into planning the whole thing...and the least I expect from the parents is to let me know if their child is attending or not!!

That is terrible, and I'd be spitting feathers at those parents who were so thoughtless. I'm glad to say that this has never happened to me but I am a natural worrier and am scared for my kids every time. I don't think I'm going to hold a party for my son this year. His birthday is close to Christmas, so we'll arrange some sort of treat for him and a couple of chosen friends instead.

I'm so sorry that your birthday party wasn't very good. I am mother to twins as well. Perhpas mylot ought to start a new discussion subject called twins. I threw a birthday birthday for our eldest daughter many years ago as she is now 20. Everyone said how good it was and how the children were going around saying it was the best party they had been to for a long time. I tryede to re create it in a different form the year after and it went ok but not as good as the first year.

that is horrible!! yeah family partys with like the kids being able to invite their best friend it usually the way to go.. that way you know they will show up and yet the family gets to spend time with your kids too (kind of) and the kid is happy because they got to do something and etc.. i threw myself a party and it came out horrible and i left my own party lol.. i was a teenager and all the people i really wanted to come didnt (for various reasons) and then the people i had invited to make it a good size all came and they werent people i was really close with etc.. so every one that did show up didnt like eachother (different groups of people that obviosuly did not mix well) complained about not having much to do which if there had been the right number we would have had stuff and i said screw it and made plans to go stay at some ones house to celebrate and sent people home.. yeah i know it was horribly rude but i was a teen and some one had already destroyed my cake and i cant remember what else but several things happened and i was like ok im OVER it!! never thrown a party since.. lol.. i have more fun going to other peoples partys since my friends are from all over and i have learned that certain groups of people just will not get along with others.. and i refuse to pick one group over the other so i just hang out mostly with my best friend and hubby

A family birthday is always the way to go, unless your kids have some really close friend they want to invite. We always had only family at our children's birthday. And I can only remembering even inviting a couple cousins to one of their birthdays. We just didn't put lots of money in them that we didn't have. My daughter has always done family birthdays until her kids reached teenagers. Now the older ones have friends over, have a bonfire, and eat hot dogs or pizza and just sit around having a good time and talking, playing Playstation or something like that. It doesn't take a big expensive party to make kids happy. But I'm sorry your daughter didn't have any of her friends to come over for her. That is sad! Maybe had you had it at home, and had 2 parties, one for each child, it might have been different. Since the boys were only friends of your son's, the mother's didn't feel they needed to buy a gift for your daughter. And, perhaps the mothers of the girls felt the same way. But I'm glad to hear they did have fun.

I gave up on birthday parties a long time ago. In the early days I didn't have problems but now I find that parents don't respond to invitations. I don't know why. I just don't get it. Why they are so disrespectful and discourteous I'll never know. There is no excuse for it. My second daughter was born in August. The hardest time to have a birthday party is in the summer. She is 12 and continues to ask for birthday parties with her friends but I am done with the kids parties. The last one her older sister ran. This past year we kept putting it off because my 12yo wants a pool party and the weather was so unpredictable this year. The best I could do this year was surprise her at a soccer game with a cake she was able to share with her friends... no presents that way but she was happy. It is too costly to have parties, especially when people don't show up. I feel bad for my daughter. And my older daughter passed this year because she wants to go big with her sixteenth birthday next April. I don't know what the heck she wants but I don't have a whole heck of a lot of money to throw any type of party. At least at 16 they don't need goodie bags... do they?I'm glad your kids had fun regardless. At least some friends showed up.

I know how you feel. I had my daughters birthday party at chuck e cheese one year and i don't think anyone called to say whether they were coming for sure or not. We ended up just going and hoping that some would come. A few showed up but not as many as I would like. I think family parties are easier too.

Sorry to hear that the birthday party was a frustrating experience, katsmeow1213. I'm glad that the kids didn't seem to notice what you have concerned yourself with, so that they don't become disappointed from looking back on how the day turned out. It might be good, next time, to consider having a much smaller 'affair' for birthday celebrations - have one really nice, 'involved' celebration in the home with just immediate family - so that you can all be together and really celebrate by all paying attention to each other and making the day really special. Perhaps your kids are getting to the age where they aren't so overjoyed with cakes, goodie bags and large displays. I think you've got an excellent idea with making your own cake and spending whatever larger amount of money you choose directly on the birthday kids!

I agree with family birthday parties. My kids ae 2 and 1 and they don't know the difference anyway. I's kinda hard were we are now because all of our family lives up north, but I won't be doing big parties until they reach hoigh school or something. Like 16th birthdays. I understand about being mad. I would be too.

Yes, the first time this happened it was disappointing. We always have the parties at home. So we already have the homemade cake and skip the rental fee (those places are sooo expensive!). Now we know the rule is that if you invite ten usually only half show up. We also usually have one show up who didn't RSVP, while another who said would come didn't show up. Of course we don't have the twin dilemma. I feel sorry for your daughter to be left out by some of your son's friends. I always bring presents for both, if it's a twin party (or more, lol). I also make sure that if more than one of our children is invited, each brings a present for each birthday child. I think it's proper manner. Anyhow, disappointing birthday story is for my oldest who is a January child. Ten kids were invited, several said they would come, but the day of the party it snowed and here where we live regular snowfall is treated like it's a blizzard. Only one child showed up. Fortunately she was only three at the time and didn't know much about it, lol. She was just happy to have her friend there;) As to party favors and such.. I have other kids and use it for those parties, or just put it into the Halloween basket to hand out as treats for the trick-or-treaters. Left-over cake is taken by my husband to his office. People there enjoy the treat. Yes, in the future hold family parties and let the kids invite a special friend or more if space allows for it. This way it's not too bad, if the invited friend doesn't show up;)

I have always wondered if there is a way we could do a reverse RSVP. Like maybe we could get the kids phone number and call THEM a week before the party to see if they are coming or not. Somehow maybe that would at least force them to give you an answer rather then guessing. My son has gone to two parties in his life where he was the only child who showed up. One was a sleepover that he had not planned to spend the night. When we found out that the poor birthday boy only had Alex in attendance, we let him spend the night anyway for the sake of the poor little kid! I'm sorry to hear that it didn't go very well for you! I know that you were really looking forward to it and that you put a lot of work into the whole event. I hope that your kids are totally unaware of how you feel it turned out. I hope they will remember the fun they had despite the lack of party goers. God will bless your good intentions. He knows what your kids mean to you and how hard you worked to show them that!

I haven't thrown one that was a disappointment but most of my parties as a kid were disappointments. I am a February baby ie: SNOW, every year, every party my mom ever planned for me. I usually only had a few people show, if any at all. I'm sorry that the party was a disappointment for you. the important thing is that the kids had fun and it sounds like they did. If they enjoyed themselves it wasn't a total bust. Next time you should give them an RSVP date earlier then you actually want them to respond. If you don't hear from them by then, you should call them.

Sorry but I really didn't bother to throw birthday parties, I just let my friends do whatever they want to do something about my birthday, which I really don't care about at all, or I just let my friends invite me if they really want to. Birthday parties, like you said... sounds pretty disappointing, and very, very, very pricey. Makes me not to throw birthday parties even more... I'm glad that I didn't even bother to throw a birthday parties during my lifetime, actually only once, I did, and my parents helped. -_-;; sorry you had a disappointing and horrible birthday parties.

Man, sorry about that. I know how you feel. My mother used to have parties for my brother and I, and since I had two friends who had birthdays the close to my own, we would have group birthday parties, this way the parents saved money on parties by only throwing one party for three girls, but the children at the parties were so ungrateful. They would run all over the place, spill things everywhere, and then my poor mother had a giant mess to clean up. After I turned 11, she just decided to take me out for dinner instead of throwing parties and she only invited close family and friends, it was easier that way because she was not going to throw giant parties for people who did not give a damn about it.

I'm sorry that happened to you. My son will be 5 this month. I always invite family and we have a lot of kids in our family so we always have a lot of kids to show up. I also invite a few friends of his from our church and a neighborhood boy that he plays with. We usually do his parties here at the house or at the park near our house. It only costs $40 to rent the shelter area for 6 hours at the park near us. This year we are having it at our church cause our church has a pond and he wants a fishing birthday party. I sent out almost 30 invitations and a lot of them are our family. I would just do the family parties...they are easier and don't usually cost as much.

Well I don't mean to say,"I told you so!" but in your discussion 2 weeks ago that I responded to, I did say that birthday parties should be about more than the presents. I also mentioned that I thought you were sending the wrong message. If I had been a parent of an invited child, I would have declined also. The reason being, Who wants to match the money you spent, when their kid,or kids have their birthday parties? Its rather ridiculous don't you think, to ask so much, from so many?

I am really sorry that this happened that is so disappointing for the kids and for you. I think it is terribly ignorant that none of the parents had the decency to let you know that they there children were not going to be attending. The last time I did birthday parties was for my eldest, he is 17 now and I think he had his last party when he was 7. I never suffered the disappointment you did but I never throw birthday parties for my other kids mainly because I cannot afford to do so but also because I like to celebrate it together as a family. Your kids had a good party and that is all that matters it is the others that missed out.

Hi. katsemeow1213. I am very sorry that your twins Birthday party did not went the way that you desired it too. The parents of the children, could have at least called and say that they were not going to bring their children to your twin's Birthday party. I don't blame you for changing up how you will celebrate your twin's, next year Birthday party. This has never happened to me, but if it did, I would feel like I have wasted too much of time planning for something that did not actually happened. I hoped that your twins still enjoyed their Birthday party with all three of your son's friends. I am sorry that none of your daughter's friends showed up though. At least your children had a wonderful Birthday party. I know that they were able to have most of their Birthday cake that was left over from the party too. Happy Birthday to your twins!

For my daughters 6th birthday we took her to the park for a day of swimming and playing she invited her friends and they all showed up. That was not the problem. I invited my in laws even though I really didn't want to but did so any way to keep the peace. You have to understand my father in law is a retired preacher. When he sat down and realized that the other party goers were eating meat he proceded to preach about the evils of eating meat and how they all were gonna burn for there sin of eating the beast. Mind you this is at my 6year olds party not even close to a church. All of my daughters friends were trrified to eat cause they thought something horrible would happen to them if they did. I had to stand up in the middle of our dinner and tell this man to keep his beliefs to himself that he was ruining his granddaughters special day. He looked at me and made the sign of the cross told my husband he was not a real man as he let his wife disrespect him. Needless to say that was the last family function that I have invited that man to. What kind of adult ruins his own granddaughters birthday?