Please dont help me!!!!
By violeta_va
@violeta_va (4831)
Australia
November 30, 2008 6:20am CST
Do you ever say that. I have been saying that a lot lately. For those 5 people here that dont know, I am 20 weeks pregnant. People want to help and somethimes that can be anoying. I hate when people go in my bedroom to clean. My mom does it all the time and I have told her so but she wants to help. Or they would put stuff away and I cant find it. I have told them that I need help but please ask first what needs to be done or where things go. My sister re aranged my kitchen and my husband had to re do it as I could not bend to get pots and plates that I use.
The worse offender is my husband. Last week he decided to install something that I will never use and my kitchen was covered in dust and I had to wash everything.
I apreciate their help more than anything but I just want it done properly. At any other time I would not care but now when I can hardly do anything I hate to do it all over.
2 people like this
7 responses
@gemjeweled (133)
• Philippines
30 Nov 08
I don't know, but it seemed to me like you don't want any help from myLotters here. I hope I am wrong.
First thing, were you also annoyed when you see people do things for you when you were not pregnant? If you were NOT annoyed then this had a lot to do with your pregnancy mood swings.
If you don't want people to help you in this manner then you might see yourself more as a housemaid than a very important person of the family. Do you want them to treat you that way? They know that you cannot do all things by yourself, so they want to do things their way without your consent.
Don't make this thing a big deal. If everyone has been doing this then the problem might be on your part. In this case you have to learn to live with those loved ones around you.
1 person likes this
@violeta_va (4831)
• Australia
30 Nov 08
Somethimes its not about the help but venting out and hearing what people have to say. Before I was pregnant it did anoy me but it wasnt a big deal as I could bend down and fix it my self now if husband is not home or my son I have to get on all 4 to get a plate or something. But I never said it before and that was my mistake. I dont live with any of them they come visit.
@gemjeweled (133)
• Philippines
30 Nov 08
Now I understand, and you really had to rant about it. I'm sure that you're feeling okay, now that this is out.
Take care! :)
@missduckey (94)
• United States
30 Nov 08
I completely understand what you're saying, buy your family is only doing everything because they care. Your mother is just being a mom, and your sister is only looking out for you. Are you having the first child of your family? Has your sister or any other siblings had children before, or are you the first to be pregnant? Keep in mind, if you are having your mother's first grandchild and your sister's first niece/nephew, they're just excited. They're wanting the best, and trying to keep you as happy and relaxed as possible.
They're only doing all of that because they love you so much.
Maybe if you beat them to the cleaning or organizing, then they'd have nothing to do? Haha. Good luck!
1 person likes this
@violeta_va (4831)
• Australia
30 Nov 08
No man this is the 4 child my sister has 2 boys and I have 1 boy (they all hope its a girl if its a girl god help us all she will be spoiled before she even opens her eyes). I know that they are doing this because they care. But in our family when we go visit we clean. We wash the dishes we fold clothes thats just how we are. And I supose its my fault for not saying anything earlier. I wish I could have everything done all the time but it takes me whole day to vacume the house (no the house its not big its because I feel sick a lot and have bad back). But even if I did everything they will find new things to do :))))
1 person likes this
@missduckey (94)
• United States
30 Nov 08
Haha.
Well honestly, if it took me the whole day to vacuum my house I'd be more than happy for my family to be doing the cleaning for me!!
Just tell them not to reorganize anything, and hopefully that will help?
@chertsy (3798)
• United States
1 Dec 08
I say that all the time, I like doing things myself, because at least I know it will be done the way I want it. I never had help with either of my pregnancies, so I don't know what to say on that case. I would just put my foot down, go off on them and then blame it on hormones. It's also good to vent, let it all out. With this your 2nd pregnancy, I would just relax and try to enjoy it. After the baby arrives it gets triple hectic around the house with 2 kids and a husband. Oh by the way, congratulations on the pregnancy.
@violeta_va (4831)
• Australia
1 Dec 08
Thanks dear you made me smile with your honest comment. But what do you mean 2 kids and a husband dont you mean 3 kids (my husband is the bigest baby that ever was he could even count as 2 kids) :))))))) I did snap yesterday. As I have said in my discussions and comments I hardly ever eat and yesterday I cooked my self something spend 30 min in th kitchen preparing it and started eating but felt sick so I went to lay down. So my mom came to bring my son back and she decided to wash the plate and my food went in the bin. I was so upset and went off later I felt sad and sorry because I did that.
1 person likes this
@chertsy (3798)
• United States
2 Dec 08
Your welcome, it's good to smile and even laugh when everything seems to be falling apart all around you. When it gets really hectic, just bust out in a loud laugh and blame that on hormones. Well, I did say it gets triple hectic, that includes hubby, 
. Glad to see that you finally went off, don't feel sad or sorry. That was your food, you prepared and wanted to eat it. Also if they drop at a hat if you cry, oh I would use that. I would milk it for all it's worth. I guess it's because I never had anyone come in and do things for me. Also my advice of a mom of two kids to another that's about to have two. Once you have the baby, relax in the hospital, enjoy it, because once you get home it becomes a war zone. I don't know how old your oldest child is, but mine was 5 and omg, the jealousy. I couldn't leave her alone with the baby. They are 12 and 6 now, and the jealousy hasn't went away yet. Maybe when they get older it will, I can only hope.
. Glad to see that you finally went off, don't feel sad or sorry. That was your food, you prepared and wanted to eat it. Also if they drop at a hat if you cry, oh I would use that. I would milk it for all it's worth. I guess it's because I never had anyone come in and do things for me. Also my advice of a mom of two kids to another that's about to have two. Once you have the baby, relax in the hospital, enjoy it, because once you get home it becomes a war zone. I don't know how old your oldest child is, but mine was 5 and omg, the jealousy. I couldn't leave her alone with the baby. They are 12 and 6 now, and the jealousy hasn't went away yet. Maybe when they get older it will, I can only hope.@violeta_va (4831)
• Australia
2 Dec 08
My son will turn 6 on the 3th of april and baby is due on the 19th of april. When all goes acording to him he loves his baby sister (thats what he calls our poor genderless baby as we dont want to find out the gender) when we tell him off he sais he hates the baby or if we say we are mad at him he want to come talk to the baby I mean the whole thing is just too cute and funny. I was upset when they told me the average hospital stay was just 2 days :(((((( I want to stay for 2 weeks if thats posible.
1 person likes this
@ashjoe76 (1422)
• India
30 Nov 08
This sounds really interesting! But I can understand what you are trying to say. yes, it is quite annoying when what others do to help you end up in little disasters. However, I could see that you are aware that they do it out og concern and affaction. Perhaps your hormone levels could be playing a part in your getting upset. But it's all a passing phase, and when the child comes, everyone is going to be happy - and I am sure that you will be able to look back on these days with a smile on your face.
@violeta_va (4831)
• Australia
30 Nov 08
My hormons are all over the place. What I am trying to say is that I know people are trying to help me and I do need help and apreciate the help but I wish they could ask what needs to be done before they do it and ask me where things go before they put things away. My question was if other people felt like me somethimes.
@Ithink (9980)
• United States
1 Dec 08
Hopefully this is just hormones, some would love to have this help when pregnant. I did everything while pregnant, that I did when I wasnt pregnant all 6 times including a set of twins. I did all the normal house cleaning and taking care of the kids.
Appreciate it and remember that some would love to have this.
@violeta_va (4831)
• Australia
1 Dec 08
Wow doing all by your self 6 times wow. With my first child I was ok and did everything almost till the end but this time its much harder. And its very obvius I dont feel well just by looking at me so they know I need help. I do appreciate it very much and most times they are ok and thats why I dont want to say anything because I have days when geting up to go to the toilet its an efford let alone washing up. But to feel that way and finding everything upside down its not fun at all. If you know what I mean.
@querwai (23)
• China
1 Dec 08
First cingratulation for your having a new life. They did more than before just because in their eyes, you are different from before, now you do something not only to think over yourself but also your baby. But to some extent it is not necessry so early, this period you can manager them yourself, right? So if you donot need, you can express out, but think about their feelings, I mean donot hurt your loved ones. And you slao can think like this:they help me just because I am pregnant that is to say when I would have gave birth, my life would return again. this life only can last less than one year, and why I donot enjoin such a short time? Good lucky!
@violeta_va (4831)
• Australia
1 Dec 08
They help all the time not just now but a bit more now that I am pregnant. I am having lots of issues with this pregnancy bad back (result of my first birt) morning sickness that lasts all day, not eating enough and a 5 year old that demands a lot. I know that I am only 20 weeks and I have another 20 to go so I know that I will need their help more thats why its hard for me to say anything.
