Are you a good parent?

I think, at some point, every child needs to know the truth about his or her parents; good or bad. But, only when they are old enough to understand. The problem with lying completely is they will eventually learn the truth and hold it against you.

I would try not to lie, because what if they find the truth from another family member. Then there goes the discussion of "Mom, why didn't you tell me". I understand also that maybe you are trying to protect them. Maybe if you just tell them the good side. 2cc2ss

I suppose that would depend on the circumstances. But in general lying about much of anything especially a parent isn't a good idea. It may come back to haunt you later. I think better just to tell the truth and work out the result of that.

It depends. Are you lying to keep him from being hurt, or just lying to lie? Either way, I think that it is always best to be honest with kids. If it involves an absent parent, be honest, not cruel, and the child will be able to form his or her own opinion as he or she grows.

My father was pretty deadbeat. He never really cared for us and I was raised by my "dad". However until we were old enough to tell my mom to stop she would call us into her room and give us the phone to talk to our father. She always told us that he had called and wanted to talk to us. She was always telling us that he loved us and had sent us stuff but we knew it was her. She would call him and then tell us that it was him that had called us. Finally we told her and after that we rarely heard from him anymore once every couple of years he would call and say he wanted to get to know us but it never happened and I can't say that wasn't happy that it didn't. I have never had the want or need to get to know him. I have a dad and that was all that mattered to me. However other people are different and have the need tp know them. I would never have blamed my mom if she would have just told us that he didn't care and didn't want to be around but she felt the need to protect us.

It depends on why you're lying. I constantly find myself lying to my four year old about his dad. On the weekends that he flakes out on him and doesn't come pick him up I tell him that "daddy had to work", or "Daddy's car broke down", or "daddy is sick this weekend." I guess it makes me a vindictive b**ch for the times I've told my son daddy was sick and he wanted to make daddy a card to feel better and I actually gave his dad the card he made him. Sometimes you can't help but throw it in a mans face when he's a deadbeat though. Lying about your kids dad to your kid though just to say hurtful things about their father is definately wrong. In the end the only person you're really hurting is the children.