I think I'm sinking FAST!

Oh sweet Carryl!! Hon, we're both having a rotten day so why don't we cuddle up together and cry on each other's shoulder? My dad is being a hard head and isn't going to live up to our agreement and instead he's going up to the old house and paint it himself and clean out the big ole shed. He has help coming to help him but still, he agreed he'd return on the day that we go up but he's not having it now. I refuse to leave mom by herself. It just isn't happening. He's to come back on either Tuesday afternoon or Wednesday day or hubby and I will not go up there. I don't mind leaving mom behind for a couple of hours but that's it, not for days or a week. It just isn't going to happen. Mom thinks he'll have a heart attack if he paints because he won't quit and push himself too far. I told her if he does that then I'll feel terribly guilty over it and he's putting me between a rock and a hard place which isn't fair. She agrees but says she'll be fine and wants me to go but I won't leave her till he's back with her. It's a terrible circle all because dad has to have it HIS damned way and it isn't going to be HIS damned way and so he might as well get used to it. I told mom that I wanted to ask dad who is it that needs the help? But I didn't because I know he'll go off on me and she agreed and begged me not to say anything like that to him. So again, I lose. I have no use for my brother or his son nor will I till they straighten up and fix their asinine ways. I'm not holding my breath either for I don't see that ever happening. Good luck with you and your sister hon. Either way it goes, you have us here rooting you on!! Hugs to you Carryl!! Wish it could be in person but for now, this will have to do.

As I was scrolling through discussions to find some to respond to yours caught my eye. Your situation struck a cord with me because mine is similar. I too, suffer from a bad back and can never seem to get enough relief. I don't know about your doctor but the doctors I'm used to have a problem with prescribing pain medicine in any quantity or on a continuing basis. It seems that the government is more worried about our becoming addicted to pain meds than in relieving our suffering. As far as social security goes, I got mine but it is such a small amount that I cannot afford to live on my own. Because of that I had to move to a new state and live with my daughter. I have been here several months and haven't been able to find a doctor to care for me here so now I don't get any pain meds at all. Like you I am financially challenged. It always seems to be that way this time of year. We can be our own worst enemy when it comes to relationships. I know that I frequently say things I would not normally say. I truly believe it is the pain that makes me hard to get along with. When I have my meds everyone seems to have a good time around me. The human body was not meant to be in pain all the time. I wish someone would find a way to fix that.

Am so sorry to hear you have back problems. I can certainly relate. It's no fun and seems to magnify things way out of proportion just trying to survive. Pain can cause depression and anxiety. I know it can in my case and I don't have a history of being depressed. Drags a person down to the bottom of the barrel. Sure hope you feel better soon and life starts going in the right direction. I had a situation last week while our kids were in town visiting for a week for the holiday. Along with being in back pain, trying to lift a 22 lb. baby and all the stress of the holiday in general I was exhausted today. I needed some "down" time so today was my day to veg and do nothing. There was a little problem with our son-in-law so I discussed the situation with two of our kids today. I felt alot better after the phone conversations. Brought me back to reality and made me feel like I could wipe the stupid off my forehead and move forward. Feel better soon, carolbee

I don't connect with my sisters either...or my brother. They don't seem to care that I live alone and might need them. I don't see my brother much and the last time I had to ask him for a "decent hug" and I explained that I don't get any hugs and I need the contact. There was a moment where I know he heard me and understood what I was saying but he could not bring himself to comply for some reason., My family just do not know me or understand who I am ...they think they do because they have judged me since I was a teenager. My family were convinced that I was seriously bad and they pretty well convinced me too but as I aged I realise what a load of rubbish it all was. But I've still been left feeling unworthy and unlovable. I responded to this because I think I feel what you feel and I need some of the "love and hugs" you offer. oxoxoxox

The first thing I do is contact my best friend...That would be you PPP.... Hugs to you... I don't have a relationship with my oldest sister..and I don't want to have one..I talk to my two other sister now and then.... I am so sorry you are in so much pain...and not to have your blood pressure medicine is not good..neither is not having your pain pills... OMG..Your doctor needs to get on the stick and get those for you... I am right here for you honey...and I know you know that.. I have done alot of crying and I mean everyday crying for a few months now. Not sure if my meds aren't working or it is just the holiday....but I do cry everyday... I went to the ER yesterday becuz I thought I had a blood clot in my right leg...I had all but one of the symptoms...MY foot and leg are numb from the knee down..They have been for two weeks. I was tested for a clot and there isn't one...thank god.. I called my doctor and he said not to wait to go right away...so I did..I think maybe I have a pinched nerve in my back and will need and MRI...I am calling to get an appt. tomorrow to get checked out... The numbness does not go away and I have pain in my leg and cramping in my leg and foot...even when I sleep... You and I need to go on a vacation...health spa...special treatments of whatever will make us feel really good... Don't worry about anything but YOU right now...I pray for you everday and always will....I wish you happiness always... And you are my bestest PPP...and don't forget it. Okay...You have my phone number...call me...I will call you right back..promise... Email me with all your hurt...I will be here to listen to it all.. Oh sweetie, I have tears in my eyes just knowing you are hurting.... I love you PPP...((((((((((((PPP)))))))))))))

I'm really sorry that things aren't working out to well for you. I'm sure things will work out. For your sake, I sure hope they do.

Oh Goodness Sweetie what is going on Please why have you been crying and what is happening there Why have you not written to me you know I am here for you Please I do hope you are better and things are better with you Remember I love you very much

Your doctor really needs to get moving, on getting your prescriptions refilled. The two prescriptions I take, will run out in the New Year. I have to make sure I make an appointment with my doctor before this happens (her directive), and then she'll renew both of them. They should be good for a year again. I can be really cranky to be around too (to say the least), when I'm in a lot of pain. This can be quite a regular occurrence for me, as I have my ongoing feet and leg problems. People who are always relatively pain free, just don't get this. As for being down in the dumps, and crying frequently, I can relate to this. I'm so stressed out about so many things, that this is often the norm for me. When I'm really low, I count on good online friends (like you), to lift my spirits. I sometimes feel better after being on 'here,' than I do actually talking with other family and friends. Please try to hang in there, and I do hope and pray you'll feel better soon. Big hugs to you.

Well we'd be good company today. I have had a huge case of blues for awhile I'm not going to get into it right now because I'm anxious to answer your question. You asked," What do you do to bring yourself back up out of situations that are bringing you down?" Well I just did it, I go in my bedroom where my computer is and I go into myLot and talk to my people on my friends list, when I do what I can there I then check out all discussions. Don't ever say sorry for sniveling, that's why we're here to help others and chat about anything. I do think a lot of your problem right now based on what you've said is financial. In Canada where I'm at I was refused and yet I can only stand for about 3 minutes at a stretch. You just don't know what it's like till you've been there and done that and believe me I have so I do know what you're going through. We're told God won't give us more than we can handle, so have faith Carryl and Please keep in touch. Anytime!!!

I know that for me, gospel or inspirational music, always lifts my spirits. There are times when we feel it is a good idea to let people know how they have hurt us, but you would be surprised at how much better you feel if you were to write your sister back and apologize for being so harsh in the first email. Maybe send her a free card through http://www.hallmark.com. Let her know that she is loved and special to you. Remember that when you blame, you give up your power for change. As for the other issues in your life, prayer always works for me. Trust God to bring you through.

Awwww (((((HUGS)))) to you. I'm sorry to hear you're in such a down mood. Did you know sometimes one can experience the equivalent of withdrawal type symptoms from different meds that can make you feel like shat too? Depending how long you haven't taken them, that might be what's going on. And you're about the sixth person I've heard of having trouble with their siblings, which makes me feel glad I'm an only child...LOL As for Social Security Disability..mmm..they're not known for speed. Did you ever think of getting in contact with a local Congressman? Most have representatives that deal with SSI disability issues...that's what I did last year when I was having "problems" (to put it mildly) Anyway, as one of your friends...I'm here for you and sending my prayers to you

Hey, sweetie... I'm sorry I haven't been on, and sorry you're feeling so down. This time of year will do that to you, especially if you're estranged from family members. I was thinking about my sister the other day... but she has done things lately that are even more unforgivable (like showing up at our baby sister's church just so she could snub her!),and I doubt we'll ever reconcile. I do simple things, the best thing being to share time with family and friends who return the love. Our youngest and her daughter have been with us for the last couple of weeks... in 2 hours they leave for their new permanent home in Hawaii. I'll miss them something fierce, but what vacations we're going to have, visiting them a few times a year!I taught our granddaughter Kaitlin the basics of almost every craft I know, and she learned it all! (Gramma's gurrrl!!) That time was much better for me than the time spent stewing over some- one who only cares for herself... I'll take the rest of my fantastic family over one spiteful sister any day! Hope you're feeling better... big hugs, hunny!

Hey There! It's alright to be down at times especially when we are missing our love ones... I feel the same too.. it's like having a bad hair day for me. But hey! It will be good :) Cheer up!

Hello Carryl, Sorry you are down right now and that your sister is not being supportive. Relatives often disappoint. I have a sister and a daughter and they are both very self-absorbed people, so I have stopped looking to them for any kind of help or encouragement. I mention it to let you know you are not alone. Christmas doesn't have to mean buying stuff. Forget about it and try to just be happy in little blessings. Please don't sink cause your friends are here.

Pain is a terrible thing. I really feel for you. I wish I could suck some of that pain out of you over the airwaves and give you some relief. I once tried to imagine myself ejecting the pain in my body as a mental image - willing my pain to go away. It sort of worked while all was quiet but as soon as a noise was made my concentration broke and the pain came back in waves. However, I reckon that if I had the self will to really master the method I could help myself that way. Good luck. Hugs from smacksman

Hugs to you! Don't ever appologize for feeling as you do. We all get that way at times. Times are so tough for so many people right now. I think many of us can relate in some way or another to what you are feeling. It is not a kind world these days and we all need to pull together and help one another the best we can. I get like that at times and I just try to see what is good in my life. Some days that can be tough but I am fortunate to have my children and a few very wonderful friends. Recently our area was hit with disaster and I am ever so fortunate not to have been personally hit. Many people I care for, however, were and it has just been crazy. As for your sister, how about sending her off another e-mail, telling her pretty much what you said here. I'll bet she is wanting a relationship with you as well. Tell her how much you miss her in your life. Who could resist that? She is probably feeling as bad as you are. Put aside your differences for the sake of the relationship and i'll bet you'll both feel so much better. I don't know what your problems are with her but sisters are important. it'd be a great xmas present for both of you, I'm sure.

Hi Katlady2, Sounds like your current psychological disposition may be linked to your physical situation right now. A book which may help you is "Natural Cures They Don't Want You To Know About". It's helped many people (including myself) look at life, food and medication differently. Hope you get to feeling better soon! Here's to your health! Happy MyLotting!