Does anyone else have a nightmare daughter-in-law?

Thanks Steph. But after 15 years I don't see much chance of her changing. I am going to have to find a new way of dealing with her. Hopefully someone can give me some Ideas that I haven't already tried. Heeeellllllppppppp.

BlueStarMom, here's an idea..................kick her buttt to the curb.

Amazing how some people can be isn't it. Thanks for your response and good luck.

I had a horrible mother in law, she was the most evil person in the world so I put a lot in trying to be a good mother in law to my daughter in law. The daughter in law took my kindness as weakness, was ungrateful told lies on me, rolled her eyes everytime I said anything if someone one was around to see her look like a "dying calf in a hail storm." I threw in the towel.

My advice is to bite your tongue and don't let her change the person you are or want to be. Be yourself and don't do anything to destroy your son's respect for you. My son remarried sseveral years ago without really getting to know his wife. She was so loving and understanding with his 3 adolescent boys, but it didn't take long to see she resented anything done for them without doing the same for her 3 children. My son's 1st wife put them through hell during their divorce and then deserted the boys for over 10 years...they still have no idea where she is. As a result, I've been very close to them and have tried to help financially, emotionally, and just about every way I can. His new wife doesn't understand that her kids have an involved father, grandparents, cousins, aunts, uncles, etc. very active in her 3 children's lives. My grandsons have me...the remainder of our family live up North. She gets mad if I have one of them over to talk or help with homework. I can't even take them to lunch without her going into a tirade about "favoritism." She's been telling my son a number of lies and made him think I'm the reason the boys don't like her. As a result, it's gotten to the point I can't see the boys any more and it's killing them and me. My oldest grandson has left and now lives with me, and the 17 year old plans to live with me next year. I'm worried about her treatment of my 14 year old grandson without either brother living with him. My point is...sometimes there's nothing you can do if someone is selfish, jealous and wants control of others. Don't make it worse.

Thanks Jill, I have been told in the past that it is a jealousy issue and I am trying to understand why an adult woman can be jealous of her husbands mother. I have talked to my son, which was hard since he just got home from Iraq and I would rather him get his feet back on the ground rather than this garbage, but she forced the issue as soon as he got home and put us in a position that we couldn't put it off till later. I have heard that she has some of the same problems with women at work and is hell on wheels if they cross her. This is just an evil person and my son feels he has to much invested in there financial situation to just walk away. I am going to let God deal with her in his way. My son has assured me that he will always be there for me and I for him, we just have to keep it secret from her (I know - ridiculous) but for him at this time till he gets back on level ground I will do it for him. Hugs, and thanks.

Quit waiting..........tell her and your son how you feel. Do not put up with her continued rudeness in your home.

Thanks for responding. I am waiting for the day for him to see the light. He just came home from Iraq so maybe he was away from her long enough to start seeing it.

Lets hope so my youngest is over there now for the second time.

Thanks Smiley, We did talk and made it through the holidays ok. Will see what happens now. Hugs.

Thanks for responding. You know what they say, "What goes round comes round" and I have seen that over and over. Her day is coming.

Thank you so much dear friend. Thank God they do not have children together. I am going to let go and let God deal with her. I told my son that I would not waste any more of MY life dealing with her. That he married he, I didn't and that she was no longer my problem but his. He told me that he understood and that it wouldn't affect our relationship. We will see. Hugs dear friend.

Dear Royal, Thank you so much for your response and I appologize for taking so long to respond but with the holidays and a serious bout of flu I am just now getting consious again. I had a marathon 7 hour talk with my son and was very direct. We both agreed on a lot of issuse and on the ones we did not agree on we compromised. We got through the holidays with a minimum of grief but I think the real work on this situation will now begin. Again, thank you so much for the advise and will keep you posted on what is up. Hugs

We had a marathon 7 hour talk one evening and I did at least get to tell him how I really feel about all of it. He seemed to understand but didn't have any real ideas about helping the situation. We ended on a good note but with the understanding that if she didn't behave decently in my home from now on she would be asked to leave. He agree with that. I told him that I no longer considered her my problem . I didn't marry and I don't have to deal with her. He agreed that I have tried for over 15 years and understands that I am tired of it. I would like to concentrate on other things. We will see what happens. You know how things can happen and situations change in a heartbeat.

Thanks so much for your words of wisdom. This is his second wife so thankfully no grandchildren involved with her. I know what you mean about just keeping my mouth shut and treating her with respect. Hopefully someday my son will decide to change his life and look for real love and happiness. Hugs

Thanks for the feedback and yes family is everything. I wish the day would hurry up when he sees through it. I don't want him alone and unhappy but he won't find anyone to love him the way he deserves as long as she is a sack around his neck. I would appreciate all prayes for him and his happiness. Hugs to you

hehehe, retarded it right. This is not a person you can reason with. She is very self centerd and thinks that the world is her playground. So self-centered. If she were reasonable I would have solved this problem YEARS ago. The fact that she is not is why we are still dealing with it.

You have a pretty good picture of the situation. I can tell you that it gets pretty tiring biting your tongue. Some times I just wish she knew what I think. But if she did it would make it worse for my son. It is amazing what a good mom does for their kids.

How sad for you that you would let any woman come between you and your mom. I want you to remember one thing. Wives come and go - MOM's are forever. Be careful with your mom, you may need her some day.

How true that is. I have talked to my son. Will see if it helps. If not I have already told him that I am tired of all of this and will definatley be dealing with her a little harder in the future.