Back-seat parenting (I'm sick of it!)

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How many of you parents out there deal with back-seat parenting? You know, that relative that belittles everything you do with your child? I have a bad case of it and I just had to vent to you guys about it. For those that don't know, I live with my grandmother. I have since my kids father ran away to that magical land where fathers don't have to be fathers anymore *eyeroll* Anyway, I moved back in with my grandmother not because I had to, but because in the wake of him leaving, I felt like I had missed some life lessons that were critical, and thought I could pick up on a second go-round. I am now regretting that decision. Now my grandmother and I are in almost constant battle in parenting my two kids. I don't see how she thinks herself the expert, I am the first generation of three that didn't drop my kids off on an older generation and left to live life, her included. But it seems like we fight about everything. First off, if I don't get her out of here soon my daughter is going to be overweight. For some strange reason, my grandmother thinks that I starve her. I know that sometimes my daughter asks for food not because she is hungry, but because she wants attention or wants to be nosy about what is going on around the kitchen. I tend not to give in to these, as I already know that she isn't hungry. But if my grandmother isn't home I'd better fix her something to eat, because she is always hungry when she says she is and I should never deny my child anything. Next, there is my son. He gets into trouble on a regular basis, and now I understand why. I know that some won't agree with this, but I believe in physical punishment as a last resort. However, my grandmother takes all of this away from me! She doesn't want him in the corner, she doesn't want him sent to bed, and I'd better not lay a hand on him either. What else am I to do when he acts up? All this makes me want to leave them with her when I finally do move out, because they've adopted the mentality that nothing I say is relevant, they wait for my grandmother to say so because its only her word that is law. But I can't even do that (not that I truly want to). Its been beaten into my head from day one that neither my grandmother nor my mother will do what their grandmother's did for them, which is to take care of their kids. But in my case this means that they will not even watch them for an evening! I feel like they are scared I am going to run off. I'm stuck in the house most of the time because I am not working, so I don't get childcare vouchers. I can't look for a traditional job, because my grandmother will not watch them while I go out. Even if I were to find one, I would have to make sure that I was able to pick up and drop off the kids myself (for those that don't know I don't drive), as she doesn't want to be left alone at any time with either one. Same goes for my mom. Don't want to be alone with them, yet wants to override everything I do with them. I hate back-seat parents!!! What do I do about this??? I've tried talking to my grandmother several times, even with mom involved (she is more on my side, she just will not watch them), but either she just says okay about it, and doesn't change a thing, or it turns into a yelling match between us. I can't move out just yet, because I have no job, no money, and the subsidized housing place that would accept my application has me on a long waiting list. What is there for me to do???