Controlling Anger

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My anger that is. We live with my MIL and she is very good at pushing my buttons, I don't know if she does this on purpose or not. The biggest problem is my husbands health, he has just gotten out of hospital, he has heart and kidney problems, so we need to keep his stress down. This morning I overslept and was late getting the kids breakfast. MIL was standing cleaning the door between the hallway and kitchen, I couldn't get to the refridgerator or pass by to wake the kids. I asked to do it later, I mean she hadn't cleaned the door since the house was built 17 years ago, why this morning? After I asked she started to shout at me, we are in Japan and my Japanese is okay but when she starts shouting I have no idea what she is saying!!! Hubby comes and she starts on about totally unrelated problems, I got mad and told her to shut up or get out. She came at me with her walking stick so I picked up a flask and threw it, not at her but I wanted to shut her up and I could shout loud enough. Unfortually the flask hit the glass door and broke the door. So now she is really upset about that, hubby gave her some money to fix it so that shut her up at bit. But I am sure that something else will come up. When hubby was in hospital I allowed her do what she wanted because we had one fight and she went to the hospital and complained to my hubby, he was in critical condition at that time, so after that I didn't say anything to her!! So now she thinks she can do what she likes. I am tired of living here but have no money to get out!! So how should I of handle things, just let her do whatever, even if the kids are late for school? I know I have a short fuse, most of the time I let things go but sometimes it gets to much!! Anybody have similar problems? Jacks