Proposed to marry point blank! How would you react?

Hi Mimpi dear....Oh....how romantic.Actually I had never had such an encounter in my life,but as a dear friend of yours and with your welfare in my heart,I want to you ask you point blank what is your decision,dear....Well actually you cannot say he proposed out of the blue.You say you have known him for many years,and I am sure he has been inrerested in you for a long time,and must have collected details about you from your doctor,in advance. Well I have only one appeal to you my dear...Let him get in touch with your parents,and let them and your doctor friend discuss and talk with the boy.I hope you will accept what ever decision your parents make because I feel they are more eligible to take your life's decision for you,than you yourself are.....God bless you.....

So will you accept the proposal, Mimpi? Our cultures are somewhat similar but I don't think Boyfriend needs to ask my parents for my hand. I told him though that if he is having this nutty idea of asking me to marry him, he'd better let my family know first and then me. I can't say I've encountered such a proposal. And I honestly don't know how I would react. But I would be impressed as to him observing my traditions and culture.

I suppose one can attribute the action of some of the so called NRI's to their thinking that all people in India are still tuned to the old ways of doing things. They do not seem to want to be in touch with reality. Honestly i would find it difficult to think how you would react, maybe with a sense of being flabbergasted, anger to start of with. Thinkin back though it may seem amusing and may even bring about a laugh now and then.

This is not a circumstance that generally occurs in my culture mimpi! I would not know how to react either to be honest. It all seems so businesslike! Learning about some of the marriage processes in India was a tremendous eye-opener for me I must admit. It took me some time to appreciate that although some steps do come across as so impersonal on a number of levels; overall these approaches do indeed have their merits and doing things in some of these ways is a very effective and honoured practice. So what happens now then? Are you keen on the idea and if so, does it mean you may end up in South Africa? It all sounds so nerve wracking!

Hi Mou Nice to hear all this and Hope things will go in better way for U, Which is Better For U Wish u all the best, my all prayers and well wishes are for U And trust me if some one know u since many years then some bad hairs or clumsy dress does not matter, rather it add into it Well, it never happened to me, mine was arranged marriage However, really happy for U

I think this kind of situation does happen in my country, occasionally, they normally want to get closer to the parents first, before they pursue to the person. I haven't experience this and I wouldn't know how to react either, if I'm with your situation. And I wouldn't ask you if your interested with this guy, because I think I know the answer. Take care.

I am really exited.That Mr G has a great eye for the right girls and got a fantastic taste.Wow! he even was able to see the beauty buried under the bad hair and the clumsy cloths.What was your reaction or what will be your reaction? Well in most of the cases here we do react after the ripples have been made when we were not at all ready for it.Planned proposal or the out of the blue one I do not find it wrong as long as it is of good intention and ends well. I am feeling happy over the whole incident Mimpi.

wow.... thank god i havent come accross any situation like that till date..i guess thats also because i look very snobish and uptight to many people who see me for the first time so no one really has the guts to propose so directly to me.... most of the proposing with my boyfriends too i have done as none of them really had the nerve to do it themselves.....butif someone were to come up to me and directly ask me to marry them or come up to my face with a marriage proposal i think i would give them one tight slap accross their face and shake their senses up a bit so that next time they wouldnt do such a foolish thing ever.....

In our country arranged marriages are prevalent though this habit of choosing one's own partner is catching on these days and it is getting very popular in educated and employed circles.nOW, What was your partents' reaction Mimpi? I am terribly interested in getting the final results-is it going to be a fairy tale with the prince and princess living forever? What is your response?-if your parents agree are you game for it?I bet one tiny corner of your heart is quite pleased.Or am I mistaken?Good luck! We are all keen to know the final results-I am saying this on behalf of other MyLot die hard romantics. In answer to your question, I have seen the like of what you mentioned in films and stories .Personally I have not had similar experience because mine is a traditional arranged marriage[married 1978].My parentsinlaw celebrated their 57th anniversary one month back.This is our old school of thought. Current day youngsters get together [in the circles I know] and make their decision when they know each other in school or college[in most cases]

I also must have fely numb. what can I say? I think you also did not had any idae about it, right? But one thing, in your profile page, I have seen one of your pic. You are not at all that much bad. you are sweet looking.

It must be quite shocking for you (may be a pleasant shock)to hear what Mr. G asked you. You would not imagined that any such person can propose you out of blue. You have not mentioned what did you tell him, did you give the phone number of your parents? or you simply side-lined his request? I hope you must have felt that butterflies are running in your stomach, when he straight away 'proposed' you. It shows that the fellow must have been very impressed by your overall appearance, behaviour and personality, therefore, he proposed you. I have not come acorss any such direct proposal.

I would be very very careful. You do not tell us about your culture and background but I assume that you have the western attitude towards these situations in that you meet a man get to know him he proposes and then he sees your parents if you both think that is necessary. The way this is being done is indeed in keeping with Indian culture but the basic effect is that you become a piece of property belonging to your parents and this man wants to take you. You start if marriage, if there is one, in and sort of inferior state which is enhanced if you get engaged and he gives you presents of expensive jewelery which does happen. I know it is faltering and if you are interested in this man you first have to make it clear that it is you who is in charge of your life and not your parents and if he does wish to marry you then it is you he has to persuade and that it will take time for you to get to know him. Also make it clear that even after you are married you will still be in charge of your life. I suspect he will back off then

Oh wow! Did you accept or did your parents accept his proposal?? Are you engaged now mimpi?? Well, anyway I do hope for the best for you. No I dont think I have ever been flabbergasted with a totally unexpected bombardment of some proposal. That was a mouthful! Hehehehe Seriously though I really wouldnt know how to react. Its not in our culture to ask the parents first for marriage but that would definitely be a plus. Its still up to us if we accept or not, with or without the blessing of the parents but of course it would be better if everyone's okay with the union. Well, whatever decision you might make, Im with you 100% as long as it makes you happy.

I think he would not have wanted to marry me anymore after he saw my reaction to his statement of intent. I would have ROFLMAO Yes, that would have been my first reaction. When I was done with that and I picked myself up off the floor I would have asked him if he was off his regular medication today. Not very polite, I know but then I am a very impolite Western diehard Feminist. The first time my current husband proposed I said no. He enlisted my sons to convince me that it was the right thing to do (it was actually).

Hi there mimpi, I don't think I've ever encountered this situation. However, My youngest son-in-law did spea to my husband of his intentions beforehand. HIs father told him he had to. My husband said they had a nice chat and he told me it was non of my business. Then he said I like that boy. He proposed to my daughter in our yard in front of me and her niece, on bended knee. It was so cute and romantic. I would hate to have to marry someone chosen for me by my parennts. It would be so hard to be open to such a situation. I would want to fall in love and gain trust first. I am glad you were allowed to say no. I think in your case I would feel stunned.

Hello dear mimpi. Congratulations, mimpi! Well, I don't have such an experience, but I do wish you happy with the guy who proposed to marry my dear mimpi and I wish you happy all the time in your life with good luck following you. Cheers and take care.

Hehe... that's a quaint incident to hear actually. No, I've not been there and hope will never - but in your case, I think we can give Mr.G the benefit of doubt because from what I can make of it, misconceptions and half-knowledge about contemporary India and its culture might have driven him to do what he did. Or it could even be a paradigm created by the success stories of men who "won" their girls' hearts through their parents. As to what I would do in your position...hmm...I would certainly borrow some (read indefinite) time to start with, as my nature is not one of snapping your decision to one's face, or even of making spot decisions, unless inevitable - and next I need to go get a breather soon. Then, whether I would consider the proposal or not will depend on various factors - like if I'm qualified to do it or not, the image I have of her in mind, and many such details that help me come to a clear and correct decision.

Wow! That really is surprising! Did you gave him your parents number? I think your parents will also be surprise once they see this guy for the first time proposing to their daughter! Hehe... I think for the guy, though his customs are like that, he should also take into consideration your own tradition when it comes to marriage. I wish you well! Hope you make the right decision! =)

At least you have known this Mr.G for a time.If you have been excited with his proposal maybe there's a spot in your heart for him.I know the feeling of my man proposing marriage to my parents.I was 20 years old and he was 28 years.We met in November.He proposed in Feb and got married the same month because he was leaving for work in other country.Now we are 33 years happily married.

A long time ago when I was aroud 17 a young man who used to work with my Dad showed up at our house and proceeded to ask my Dad for my hand in marriage! Bear in mind that I only knew this guy in passing and barely knew his name. He was Italian and lived by the old customs. These days arranged marriages in Italy are a thing of the past. My Dad was more surprised than I was and politely declined on my behalf stating that I was way too young to get married. Thank God!