why men sometimes are irrational? we need to tell them what they need to know..
By jackie06
@jackie06 (22)
Philippines
December 4, 2008 1:55am CST
why men sometimes are irrattional? we need to tell them what they need to know? cant they just read it in action.... I asked this question coz recently me and my husband argued about the way he reacted on my questions.I dont understand him. we've been 13 years in marriage but then simple conversation we tend to fall out. maybe its b/c were on a long distance relationship and apt to be together for 4 months every after 8months?or maybe b/c we're both youngest in the family? I dont know... I always wanted to be subservient and gobble up my pride but then sometimes I cannot. I need to express myself, however, am not a good talker and I cannot explain myself well to clear things out...worst thing,the night before he left for work (btw, he's working out of the country)we had a simple disagreement, I wanted to be submissive but it takes hours for me to do that..He tend to explain and I refused to understand... we ended up good enough and feel sorry for ourselves why we do that.... do you experience that too? :(
4 responses
@jhoannejoj (963)
• Philippines
5 Dec 08
Hi. Not all men are irrational I must say. Though sometimes they are less sensitive of things we want them to do or say. We blame them for that yet we women have some faults too of not being so descriptive or vocal. Its true that a good communication is one of the best ingredients to prosper relationship or marriage for that matter. A good communication means one must be a good listener when your partner is talking or ranting. One should also learn to praise, to say words of encouragement and endearing words from time to time. I also learned this from my father that you should not throw fire to a burning situation. If one is fire then the other one must be water so as to stop the fight. It works best for me and my boyfriend. You and your hubby should talk that whenever you have an argument he should learn also to listen and be submissive since men expect that these are the role of women which are very century old beliefs.
@jackie06 (22)
• Philippines
9 Dec 08
thanx jho for your advice. I agree with you maybe, we occasionally forgotten this advice when we're on the peak of our emotions. I will learn to remember this every time we argue and be a good listener too. maybe am just being so proud sometimes that I dont know how to let go the feelings and learn to forgive and understand. thanx a lot you're so kind :)
@mercuryman3a (2477)
• India
5 Dec 08
I am a man and your ire is directed against men so I wonder if I will be able to undrstand your point of view fully. But yes often it does happen than we men tend to take it for granted that we can have our way. I try an dbe reasonable most of the time and try to explain to my wife what the facts are, but sometimes she gives in without an argument. She does nto agree but she jsut gives in. It can be very irritating when you can not reach out and come to an agreement by logical thinking. I prefer to be in agreement by going over the logical aspects of each argument rather than just shelvign the discussion an dshowing that this is something I do not agree with but i am submitting for the sake of harmony. It is nto correct and is not fair.
@jackie06 (22)
• Philippines
9 Dec 08
hi mercuryman3a, i understand how you feel. if my husband knows how to be online and read all of this maybe he will feel the same thing too. but am not oversimplifying that all men are like that...i've mentioned it, on occasion.. one thing I do believe that nobody is perfect and each of us are entitled to show how we feel and speak our mind in our own little way. husband and wife have differences which they have to learn and to accept as they go along in their marriage life :)
@chaolai (162)
• Philippines
4 Dec 08
you couple needs to practice the art of better communication because in this way you both understand each other, try to be open minded, try to express yourself freely, speak out your sound mind! you both end up arguing if you keep this kind of situation. just a constant communication and explanation will be the better solution for this problem of yours.
@jackie06 (22)
• Philippines
5 Dec 08
hi cha thanx for your kind advice practice an art of better communication which we dont have lately.. right now we're both ok he keeps on calling me every other day to say sorry... but i told him that dont remind me of what we did two weeks ago.. its hurting me if you do. we just have to forget it... :)
@jenboy (1)
• United Arab Emirates
4 Dec 08
ya, right it maybe you're both long distance relationship as you told lately.Base on my experience being husband and wife we must be together for bitter for worst,because both it needs care,someone to listen,someone to understand and mostly husband and wife need to talk time to time in a loving words not only everytime are an arguments, one must be calm.
Sometimes husband also irratated the way we talk to them and we follow what we wangt to do and they don't want it.
@jackie06 (22)
• Philippines
5 Dec 08
thanx for your response jenboy... ya thats true we have to listen to each other maybe am just being selfish that sometimes i always wanted to control the situation... and the thing that irritates me everytime we argue, he is the one who apt to nag and I stay calm...as what Ive told yesterday am not a good talker. usually I put it in action like will not talk to him for hours and it makes the situation worst all te time.... but then thanx for your advice. will practice it...:)
