If someone tells you that you are not good at something...
By hiddenwing
@hiddenwing (3719)
China
14 responses
@gemjeweled (133)
• Philippines
4 Dec 08
When you and everyone thinks that you are good at something and that one guy comes along and tells you outright that you suck at that thing, then you have to be prepared to accept that there are people who will try to pull you down.
This is a reality that people who are starting to get famous encounter.
I really admire people who are able to handle harsh negative criticism thrown their way. I saw one celebrity who was able to laugh that out as a joke.
What I am trying to tell here is that we should be able to handle things that those arrogant people do. Behind that is an insecurity that they are trying to hide, so they suck out the negativity to other people.
1 person likes this
@hiddenwing (3719)
• China
4 Dec 08
Your suggestion is really great! How come I repay you? It helps me a lot. Wish you all the best for your work!
1 person likes this
@gemjeweled (133)
• Philippines
4 Dec 08
I do? Thanks I did not think of that.
If you like this mine, then you can tag this as best response although I am not insisting on it.
But I am glad to be able to sort things out for you. :-)
1 person likes this
@AmbiePam (93885)
• United States
4 Dec 08
I'll admit it has hurt my feelings in the past when I think I am good at something, and then someone tells me completely the opposite. It is so much easier to take to heart mean comments than nice comments. I guess it is a testament to people who can overlook rude comments and go on to enjoy what they are good at, and believe they are good at anyway.
1 person likes this
@hiddenwing (3719)
• China
6 Dec 08
A kind person will never discourage others! At least, they should put it tactfully. The arrogrant guys always think they are better!
@paid2write (5201)
•
4 Dec 08
If it was some arrogant guy I would take no notice.
If I want someone's opinion I will ask a person who has knowledge and understanding of what it is I do, then I can expect some constructive criticism that will help me to improve.
Unasked for criticism that is only based on personal opinion has no value. For example some people would dismiss a piece of modern art as being awful, when they simply lack the ability to appreciate it. The fault is not with the artist but with the critic. An expert critic will give a valid opinion based on analysis and professional judgement.
1 person likes this
@hiddenwing (3719)
• China
6 Dec 08
I've already forgot the thing! Haha, but today I met another arrogant guy who tried to imitate an American. He thought he was a great English speaker and told me that he had been in California for years, which was unbelievable. Apparently, the guy was a boastful person!
@syankee525 (6261)
• United States
4 Dec 08
well if you actully are, they have thier own optins. i am a songwriter and when i went to this music thing, the lady from the lable said i wasn't good enough. optins are like butt holes we all have one.
1 person likes this
@hiddenwing (3719)
• China
4 Dec 08
Oh, I think a good person will never discourage anyone! It is not cool! Really! Haha
Leave them alone
1 person likes this
@Humbug25 (12540)
•
4 Dec 08
Hi there hiddenwing
If they were the first person to ever tell me such a think and I had been doing this thing for a long time then I would think that they were just being a bit nasty and wouldn't believe them as surly someone would have mentioned something sooner! There are things that I know I am good at because people have told me (singing is definatly not one of them!) but there are things that I have no confidence in and as I know I am not so good at!
1 person likes this
@hiddenwing (3719)
• China
6 Dec 08
Hey there, Ms simpson! Great to meet you again! I had been so busy these days that I didn't even have time to read your responses!
There are things that I know I am good at since lots of people have told me ( My singing is just so so by the way).
@syfarisk (378)
• Malaysia
4 Dec 08
Just ignore him. And make every effort to get him as far away as possible from your life. Delete his phone number. Ignore his messages. Reject invitations to his parties. Don't invite him for yours.
Focus on your strengths and work on that. Really work to improve on that and use that to channel yourself to success. People are successful because of their strengths, not their weaknesses, unless they turn their weaknesses into strengths. Listen to the advice of those who care for you, and support you, and totally ignore those who don't.
If you can do that, you'll feel better about yourself, and you will increase your chances of success.
@hiddenwing (3719)
• China
4 Dec 08
Pretyy good advi1e! I haven't thought about that! It is not wise to get in tought with him anymore
1 person likes this
@nannacroc (4049)
•
4 Dec 08
It would depend on who was telling me and if they were giving good advice. Constructive criticism is good and helps you to improve. Sometimes people just criticize because they want to knock your confidence and they are not worth listening to. Usually arrogant men have very few talents and they are not worth listening to because they are usually jealous of the other persons ability.
@nannacroc (4049)
•
6 Dec 08
I wonder if he could have written this response as well as you did. I doubt it. Pity the man who thinks he knows all as he can't be taught anything.
@hiddenwing (3719)
• China
6 Dec 08
Just as the saying goes, honest advice, though unpleasant to hear, benifits conduct. It is true. However, some people are just arrogant guys. For example, today, I met a guy who thought he spoke Enlish like an American.
" How are ya doing? You talk little English? Where did you get your English? Are you attending the college?" , he asked. I knew that he imitated Americans on purpose! Notwithstanding, this was pretty funny!
I am not good at singing . But I do know who is a good singer. They guy really spoke weird English! He asked me weather I thought his English was great!
"Your English is OK." ,I answered. Then, he got angry and told me that I spoke English like crap on the other hand. Sure, there is a long way to go for me to improve my English. However, I didn't speak as he evaluated. You know what, I have talked with tons of Americans! No one has looked down upon me like that! Thus, in such a situation, it is annoying to hear someone mentions he is great while I am terrible !
1 person likes this
@wolfie34 (26771)
• United Kingdom
4 Dec 08
I used to be a typist my friend and I had a long break where I hadn't done much typing, however I was looking for a job and went into this agency to get myself another typing position, however I had to sit this test by this young girl who looked down her nose at me, and because I hadn't scored high enough she told me I wasn't good enough and therefore would not be on her books, she gave such joy in telling me this to put me down. But I thought, I wouldn't want to work with her type of person anyhow, so it was there loss not mine, I soon found another job, not typing but I was glad in a way I had failed, it's funny how things work out in life!
@wolfie34 (26771)
• United Kingdom
6 Dec 08
That is ironic as my tutor used to always tell me that I was always so hard on myself and never congratulated myself when I did well! I guess it goes back to being at school when I was always told I was useless! There is a fine balance between modesty and arrogance isn't there my friend?
@hiddenwing (3719)
• China
6 Dec 08
The funny thing is some people think they are much better. Thus, the have the audacity to laugh at others! It is good to keep a low-profile, isn't it?
By the way, you are a modest person too! It means you don't give yourself enough credit sometimes. I guess you are much better than you think. Have a great day!
On the other hand, an arrogant guy is actually nobody!
1 person likes this
@desertdarlene (8910)
• United States
4 Dec 08
I don't know why my response didn't post, I will try again.
The only reason why someone would say that straight out to someone is to hurt them. Saying that someone is awful is not constructive criticism. Now, if they were to say why I was awful and how to get better, than that would be different. If they can't tell you why it's bad, then they don't know what they're just idiots and I wouldn't listen to them.
@hiddenwing (3719)
• China
6 Dec 08
Consider, English pronounciation, for example. Every speaker think he or she is right. Some people pronounce "th" like "D" while some people pronounce "th" like "S". Each of them is wrong! Haha
When you pronounce it right, they will think that you make a mistake! This is called overconfidence! lol
@hiddenwing (3719)
• China
6 Dec 08
Consider, English pronounciation, for example. Every speaker thinks he or she is right. Some people pronounce "th" like "D" while some people pronounce "th" like "S". Each of them is wrong! Haha
When you pronounce it right, they will think that you make a mistake! This is called overconfidence! lol
@pergammano (7682)
• Canada
4 Dec 08
Good morning, hiddenwing! If that person came with a diploma hanging out of every pocket & plastered on their lapels.....I would NOT let them denigrade me, or even react in a manner that let's them think they have! Water finds it's own level, and karma tells me that this personna only attempts to diminish other's in order to elevate themselves! I am hoping this was not your discussion because some-one has attempted to trample on you! There are a lot of people that I can take constructive criticism from, when it is delivered in a proper manner..but arrogance tests my metal, so to speak! Rainbows!
@hiddenwing (3719)
• China
4 Dec 08
Thanks for your kind advice. Someone spoke English so awfully that I coudn't understand it! Then, the guy told me that I was such a bad Enlgish speaker, which made me feel terrible!
1 person likes this
@bellis716 (4799)
• United States
5 Dec 08
I'm sure that I could say,"You're probably right", but inside, I'd be crushed.
@hiddenwing (3719)
• China
6 Dec 08
Oh, well, it is not possible that they are right. Haha, so, you don't have to be crushed! Wish you all the best for your work!
@Opal26 (17679)
• United States
5 Dec 08
Hi hiddenwing! That would all depend on if I actually believed
that I was good at something or not! I don't take critsizm
too well. I'm not really sure that I would be able to be
strong enough to overcome someones telling me that they thought
something that I did was awful unless I felt that they were
someone whose opinion didn't matter. In that case it wouldn't
count and I would not be bothered about it. I have learned
that sometimes people say things that you have to ignore and
just move on. There are too many miserable people out there
who will steal your joy if you let them.
@hiddenwing (3719)
• China
6 Dec 08
Oh, I like this sentence so much! " There are too many miserable people out there who will steal your joy if you let them."
Haha, I will leave them alone!
@suzzy3 (8341)
•
4 Dec 08
Who ever who it is is undermining your confidence because they are jealous of you and what you are acheiving,who is this man anyway get him out of your life you can do without him. What ever you do keep it up and ignore this arrogant,jealous person.
@hiddenwing (3719)
• China
6 Dec 08
Yeah, the guy spoke some dirty words! I didn't like people who spoke like that! So, he got angry and commented on me! haha
