How do you say I'm sorry to your partner?
By glords
@glords (2614)
United States
December 4, 2008 1:42pm CST
In every relationship people do things that require apologies. Last night I did a bad thing and today I owe my hubby big time. My son woke up in the middle of the night with bad gas. I rocked him and cuddled him for two hours, and then I just snapped. I put him back in the crib, and went back to bed. My husband had to get up and take care of him for another two hours before he went back to bed.
I didn't realize at the time, my husband had taken his sleeping pills last night. He felt so awful this morning when he pulled himself out of bed that I asked him to call in sick, but he said couldn't today.
I have no excuse for being so selfish. I just was feeling so incompetent and worthless. Everything I tried last night from gas drops to tummy massage did no good. I got so frustrated with my inability to easy his pain.
So what what should I do to make it up to him? What do you do when you've been in the wrong? How do you say your sorry with more than just words?
3 people like this
4 responses
@keith12345 (164)
•
4 Dec 08
Usually i would buy my partner a gift to say that i am sorry then make it upo her by taking her to a fancy restaurant then shower her with gifts for about a week, also i do the house work for her and let her relax, this is my source so this could work for anyone, thanks
@glords (2614)
• United States
4 Dec 08
Wow Keith,
Sounds like you have one lucky lady. I wish I could afford to shower my partner with gifts, but I'm a stay at home mom. I think that would be kinda weird to shower him with gifts that technically he is buying, and I already do the house work, but maybe I could clean up extra nice tonight and make his favorite dinner. Would that work?
@alibabes88 (514)
• United States
4 Dec 08
I don't think you are selfish at all. Think about it, you were up for two hours with your son... you couldn't do it anymore. Its only right that your husband helped out. If you or he thinks you owe him, than you are saying that his sleep and time is more valuable than yours. I have a 3yr old son, and ever since the day he was born me and my husband have shared night duties. Meaning, If I got up with him one night, the next night my husband will. If I get up with my son, and he is up for multiple hours, like your child was, than yes my husband will get up and take over so I can get some sleep too.
However, if you really want to do something nice, cook him a nice dinner, his favorite dinner maybe.
@glords (2614)
• United States
5 Dec 08
I feel I have given him a bum wrap... he is very helpful with my son. He feeds him dinner and gives him a bath every night. He also helps with night duty on the weekends. The big problem wasn't that I needed his help, but that he was medicated with sleeping pills when I went back to bed. That was very hard on his physical health. The prescription bottle says you must allow yourself at least 8 hours of sleep and i took that away.
@SaintAnne (5453)
• United States
8 Dec 08
I was thinking along the same lines as Scoop. It's not like you didn't try, glords. Two hours wasn't just giving up. And I do agree that the other parent should help each other out especially when the other one needs to take a break. And better to have taken a break than take that frustration and "feeling of incompetence" on the baby. I am sure your husband understands. And I am quite sure that you have also taken over when your husband has decided to also take a break before. So if you want to apologize then do so if you really feel bad. Talk to him. You don't have to do anything extra to make it up to him. Sometimes we look for the more flashy things to do when only the simple thing needs to be done. I hope you and your husband got some rest by now.
@glords (2614)
• United States
8 Dec 08
Thanks... you know I guess you are right. I really felt the need to make it up to him. It's very hard to function when you've taken prescription sleeping pills. He knew that his health would pay the price, but he was still willing to get up and take care of the baby. The next day when I realized the extent of his sacrifice... I did tell him how much I appreciated it, we had a long talk before he headed out the door to work. I told him how much I loved him and appreciated him, and I told him I'd make it up to him. I cleaned the house and made a big dinner. Several days later he said, "what you said that morning really made me feel good. I've been thinking about it all week, and I want you to know, I love you that much too." I guess the small things really do make the biggest difference.
1 person likes this
@SaintAnne (5453)
• United States
9 Dec 08
I am glad to hear that, glords. Your comment made me tear up. 
@camomom (7535)
• United States
5 Dec 08
My fiance and I go through this atleast once a week. One of us at some point will feel incompetent with the kids, especially the 4 month old. We fight and have bad nights, it's part of parenting. We usually just drop it and blame it on stress.
My advice would be to talk about it, say that you're sorry and then do something out of the norm for you. If he normally does the dishes, you do them before he has the chance. (insert your own house chore in place of "dishes")
If he usually starts your intimate moments, you come on to him first this time. Maybe write him a love note or buy him a mushy card.
Good luck. I hope things work out for you.
@camomom (7535)
• United States
6 Dec 08
It's really hard with the first one. It's almost as hard with the second but it does get better. Just remember that they NEED you and that they aren't there to annoy you. Rememeber to always love each other and that things will get better. Don't hold grudges over the baby stuff. ALL parents get stressed and take it out on each other. It's normal.
