over????divorce!!!!!!!!

I am not for divorce. It may be because I belong to the old school and have been always taught that once married then it should be for life. Even when I had problems in my marriage I decided to stick on for the sake of the kids. I am happy I took that decision because by staying together we were able to solve our problems which would not have been solved if either of us had to think of a divorce.

I agree that divorce is far too eay these days and I think that some of the people who get divorce at a whim of a hat could have sorted thnigs out if they hadn't been so hasty to get a divorce. We should be forgivingf but there is only so much forgiving people can do. I do believe in divorce and it shouldn't be looked on as a sin these days

another necessary evil of our times, Riya (BTW your shortened name Riya is distinctly Indian, did you know that?). as I was saying, changing times mean change in everything, including our sacred relations. First and foremost value to be sacrificed is compromise and commitment. Marriage is (was) a life long commitment but no longer. With both men and women fighting their own individual wars for success, its no longer ‘our fight’ for success. Society has become liberal too, no longer raising its eyebrows. What more can I say but children are the worst sufferers. As they grow up with multiple fathers and mothers, their sense of a healthy family life, of belonging to biological parents only, of being rooted to one family gets severely jolted and in turn reflected in their own adult life.

it would depend on the couple let's say there is a problem and the wife wants divorce even if the husband wants to work it out, he won't have a chance the reversed could happen too I don't think divorce is a solution, but again to each their own

Yeah riyasam, I agree with you that these days it's becoming very 'in thing' for the couples to get divorce, for the very reason that both of them are losing their patience. They are becoming too materialistic, running always after money, have no respect for their spouse's feelings. Surprisingly they don't even repent by doing all this.

If things still do NOT work out even though both or one of the parties involved had exhausted every thing to save the marriage, then that couple should definitely get a divorce. I do not believe in staying together for the kids and I do not believe in staying together for appearance's sake (or whatever it would look like to our church, friends, society, etc.). I would rather have two parents who can stand and be cordial towards each other while divorced rather than staying together but hold on to the hate and misery that come with the marriage. Having said that, I do think like you about people no longer even trying to save a marriage. They just think that divorce is the option right away. Take care, riyasam.

If one of the spouses cheats on the other, and does not want to give up the other woman or man, then that is the only reason for divorce. But then they should be willing to reconcile. I do not know about severe physical abuse, but usually the man goes and marries someone else and then it does turn into adultery, but as for keeping the toilet set up, being a messy housekeeper, burping too much, or other trivial reasons, they should just learn to live with it. That is no reason to end a marriage.

I feel that divorce is not a solution, except some extra-ordinary situations. I agree with you that those who go for divorce at the dropt of the hat, are doing no good to them and to our Society as a whole. Marriage is afterall a 'matter of adjustment' between two individuals, from different backgrounds. The one who succeeds in making adjustment, under unfavourable or unconductive circumstances, I believe succeeds. Once some told me that even if one of the partner could make adjustment, the married life goes on smoothly. If one takes divorce and goes for the second marriage and she/he is re-marrying. In the second marriage too, he/she will have to make some adjustment, because no one is perfect and cannot be perfect.

I think you should make every effort to work things out (unless the spouse is a criminal, an abuser or some other nasty thing) but once you've made the effort and you can't work it out, I think you ought to be able to divorce. Everybody deserves a chance to be happy.

I am a catholic and I do not favor divorce but there are times when divorce is justifiable such as when a husband maltreats and physical abuses his wife regularly and endanger her life.m The Lord say " What God has joined together, let no man put asunder" should be taken seriously and those who marry before a priest or pastor should think long and carefully before marrying because if they do so then divorcve and marry again, indeed under canon laws they are guilty of adultery. Of course there are many out there who will not agree but that is my own personal belief.

Divorce would be reduced drastically if people didn't get married at the drop of a hat. People know eachother for 6 months and then they wed this is rediculous. Or they marry because they are pregnant. I do not believe that God would want me in a relationship that I was abused or mistreated. If you are truly a religious person before deciding about divorce you have asked God for guidance. It is written for us to forgive but many forget that God forgives all, therefore is there really any such thing as a sin if we are forgiven when we ask for forgiveness? If he does not forgive then it would be hypocritical. I myself have been happily married for over 20 years and I know it is because we together figured out what we wanted and expected from one another. I knew what my role was in the marriage as well as my husband knowing his. We do what it takes to have a healthy relationship. We raised our family and not once did we ever forget about one another during our whole relationship.

Divorce should be easy after all it is really just cancelling a contract of marriage. But that's not how it works, people involve emotions, property rights, children, etc. As a child of a very nasty divorce I can tell you it hurts you all of your life. Children are so self centered, they cannot conceive of the thought that they had nothing to do with the situation. Even when they are adults they never get over the feeling that they were abandoned.

Yeah, I agree with divorce, I don't think it's a sin. Maybe it's a sin for somebody but not in my own understanding, what is worsts living with your husband who has a mistress or having a divorce instead. And yes, some people made a wrong decision to get married and regret it afterwards so it's better to have a chance to make it right and start a new life over again. Enjoy life.

I think divorce is part of life. No, people should first try to resolve any conflicts before rushing into a decision based on a emotion or feeling. After all, there had to be something good for the people to get together intially. If something is really not meant to be, then divorce is the healthiest thing to do.

I am not much in favour of divorce. I think that most matters should be solved. However it takes two people to pull the same rope in order to solve matters. © ronaldinu 2008

I dont think it is a sin, not in my eyes anyway but I do think that divorce is now taken too lightly. I have always said to myself that once I am married I will stay married, especially now i have kids. Marriage is hard, very hard and it takes hard work on both sides to make it work. My marriage has been plagued with difficulties and it would be so easy to call it a day and split up but I dont want to do that.

Hi Riyasam! Personally, I believe that divorce destroys lives specially that of young children whose parents undergo the turmoil. On the other hand, it has now become a necessary evil in lives of some couple who can really never reconcile conflicts in their relationships. I don't agree with it.

i agree.. some people need divorces because if they try to work it out it just tortures every one and messes people up.. and i hate it when people "stay together for the kids" because i have seem more kids screwed up because of their parents staying together and hating each other than if they had split up and both remarried and was happy now

Hi ya riyasam I totally agree with you. I am not as yet divorced from my husband but I would not stay married to a man who did what mine did to me. Why should I have to put up with the abuse I got from him just because we are married? That would not be right. Marriage does not give someone the right to treat someone like that because they can't get divorced! When I got married it was intentions it was for good but I didn't know how things were going to turn out.

I think divorce is a necesary evil and is resorted to by the defeatists. Any one who has no inclination to make ammends in him/herself and is not willing to accept the flaws in their partner finds it the easiest option, thinkingt that they will probably be second time lucky. Anyone who can't make one marriage, will in all probability not be able to make the second marriage work too and will soon be running to the courts to seek a second divorce.