We can't afford to get married unless.....
@camomom (7535)
United States
December 7, 2008 11:25am CST
My fiance and I are finally divorced form our first spouses and want to get married. We have been together since June 1, 2005. We have 2 children together and are happier then we've ever been in our lives. We are not married yet because we both had to finalize our divorces. My ex refused to pay for ours so I had to wait until I could pay for it to get it done. It was finalized In April of this year. His was finalized a little while back. I quit working in January of this year for personal reasons that I won't discuss here. Anyway, since I quit working and having our second child, money has been tight. We severely want to get married to each other. We don't want a big fancy wedding, we've both already done that. We just want something small and inexpensive. My best friend is an ordained minister in the state of Maryland and we live in Pennsylvania. She really wants to officiate our wedding. She is willing to come to us to do so, so that our families can be there. My questions are, Does anyone know the laws of how to go about having her officiate our wedding outside of her state? Are you an ordained minister? Is it possible for her to legally perform our wedding from one state to the next?
3 people like this
5 responses
@Chevee (5905)
• United States
8 Dec 08
I am sorry I have no answer for this. Here in my area people go to the court house and get married when they do not want to spend a lot of money. They then have a reception some times afterward. But having a minister marrying you from a distance I do not know. I hope someone can answer this for you. It really sounds like it can be done. All you have to do is sign the legal documents.
2 people like this
@camomom (7535)
• United States
8 Dec 08
We thought of going to the courthouse also but we would still have to pay. It wouldn't be much but more then we have. We're having trouble coming up with $40 for the marriage license.
@Lee_Rites (845)
• United States
7 Dec 08
I really don't know. My cousin is also a minister in Maryland but I have no idea if he can officiate weddings in other states.
Congratulations to you and your future husband. I hope you both have long and happy lives together.
@AmbiePam (93797)
• United States
7 Dec 08
I think there shouldn't be a problem, but considering I've never been married and don't much about ceremonies anyway, a person can't listen to me much. : ) I'm so glad to hear you two are going to be able to be married. Was the wait worth it? 
I bet it was. : )
I bet it was. : )2 people like this
@camomom (7535)
• United States
7 Dec 08
Yes, it was. We had plenty of time to make sure it was right and to get to know each other. We knew we wanted to before our first daughter was born but it was too early in the relationship. We had to wait anyway to make sure we were doing the right thing for our kids also. We didn't want to get married just because we had children together. That's NOT what our marriage will be about. It will be because we love each other and fit together and complete each other. Not just because we are co-parents. We've grown up a lot in the time we've been together and have been through a lot and gotten to know each other enough to know that it's the right thing for us and our family that we created together. We are best friends, what could make a better match then that?
3 people like this
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
8 Dec 08
I have absolutely no idea.
But our wedding didn't cost us a thing. We were married by a justice of the peace in his court room. No witnesses, nothing fancy. I didn't even get dressed up. We just went down there one day and said marry us. Our families didn't even know until after we'd done it.
Now the reason why we did that is a whole other story, but it's floating around here on Mylot somewhere, lol.
1 person likes this
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
8 Dec 08
We didn't have a reception or honeymoon. So far as I can remember I believe he ended up going to work on the night we got married. It was all poorly planned and a last minute decision. We were planning our wedding, we wanted something, well, not big, but bigger than we ended up with. But we were so sick of everyone else saying "Don't do this, don't do it there, don't do that" that we just said forget it, and went and got it done with, and didn't tell a soul until afterwards. All we had with us was the kids. The twins were 6 months old at the time.
@camomom (7535)
• United States
9 Dec 08
We keep thinking of doing it that way but I want my mommy there and she wants to be there. She is my only parent so I can't deprive her of that. She also means too much to me to not include her.
@camomom (7535)
• United States
10 Dec 08
Maybe someday you can renew your vows with the remaining family and your kids there.
Thank you so much.