Depression stirkes again....

United States
December 7, 2008 11:41pm CST
Have you ever had the ugly battle of depression at some point in your life? I mean like true depression, to the point that you are so close to not dealing with your life anymore. This is something that I have personally had to struggle with at several different times in my life. WHen I try to get help, doctors, therapists, ect just want to hand me prescription drugs and send me on my way. I always put on a happy face and pretend nothing is truly bothering me to everyone around me. Which I think is making it worse, since when I try to reach to reach out to my friends they do no take me seriously. I cannot figure out why I am so sick of trying to deal with my everyday life...I have a BEAUTIFUL 2 year old daughter, and a loving mother. I love both of them very much, and I would never want to upset them. But when I try to explain to my mother how I feel she always threatens to 302 me like I am only expressing myself to attempt to get more attention. I work 70 hours a week to support my daughter and myself. We live with her father, who also work 60 to 70 hour weeks. Despite both of us working so many hours, and working so hard, money is still extremely tight. Money is just another added stress factor pushing me closer and closer to the edge. This time, feeling depressed and alone, I feel that I cannot actually talk to my friends. All of these people that I thought were my friends turn out to be backstabbers, liars, and only out to gain the most for themselves. I honenestly am at a loss for what to do this time. The thoughts I have racing through my head 24/7 scare me....the things I truly want to do terrify me. . . I am not truly the happy person I used to be, not that I pretend to be. Does anyone else do this? How do you overcome the horrifying thoughts and feelings you experience? I need real advice this time. And to be honest, it hurts so much to ask input from people that I do not know on a personal basis, because I do not feel I can ask my friends for help. . .
3 responses
innkeeper
@innkeeper (20)
•
8 Dec 08
Dear thunderstar...You are not alone... I think that your post descibes most of the world these days... I am in a similar situation: 2 lovely kids, wife who loves me, good paying job (that I hate, boring, long commute). Especially the bit about"friends" who don't want to hear about it probably because they are in similar situations themselves.. If you weren't at least slightly depressed in the current situation, I would think you must be "crazy"... I don't pick up any hint of "spiritual beliefs" in your post... I think that you are expecting way too much out of yourself and other people... I am struggling to find the "Meaning of Life" too....I think that thinking about "the bigger picture" might help you to understand your place in it. From your post, I think that you and your partner should try to cut back your lifestyle, (if possible) so that you both could work less hours. ... I'm not criticizing here,okay??? Overwork is a real big part of the problems you're expereincing. You have probably heard it before, but I think that trying to develop or improve a relationship with "God" will help... I apologize if I'm "preaching to the converted" but for myself the best way of fighting depression is to look away from yuorself and focus on something else..."Revelations" in the bile seems to speak avout our time... It is a scary and hard to understand book but comes out well in the end I recommend it because it shows that ultimately God "is" in control and that there is a purpose and a good future ahead... After "Revelations" read the Gospel of John to get an understanding of who "God" is and what kind of relationship He wants to have with us... I will be happy to discuss things further with you. Please don't give up....
bodhisatya
@bodhisatya (2384)
• India
8 Dec 08
Hi Thunderstar, Depression in todays world is not an exception, the problems are constantly surmounting and expectations are always falling short, naturally depression thrives. First of all we have to identify what exactly is the cause, and then we must ignore doing or thinking the root cause of depression. If its your work pressure, or the relationship with someone close and you are upset about him/ her then preferably take a break. indulge yourself in whatever activities you are interested in, learning a new language, painting, going out for a couple of days are real battery chargers. But on a personal front recently i had been through a very traumatic stress. i had very negative and ill- feelings about myself, but I am extremely lucky that I have a few very good friends of mine who patiently listned me out. It is damn important to vent out your frustrations to someone who cares. My friends made me feel important although they too had been facing their own problems. Our mutual problems were discussed and we resolved that no matter how sad we are facing the bad world out there we are gonna enjoy life whenever we are together. The best thing to do apart from this is having faith. As they say "Faith Heals". Meditation is very effective mode against the stress building up- within. I sincerly hope that I could have been a help somehow to you, and would see you happier the next time you are on mylot.
rick_d
@rick_d (213)
• United States
8 Dec 08
sorry to hear you feel this way these things may help you. write things down,write down some short term goals, spend time with kids,take walks,long hot showers,keep busy. basically keep you're mind active with good thoughts.just remember you're not alone and that things do work out in time.