Cyberspace Heartache?
By zandi458
@zandi458 (28102)
Malaysia
December 8, 2008 7:32am CST
Today's high-tech horrors has brought more harm then good to many people especially to people who can't differentiate between real physical friends and virtual friends. They are blinded by the glazed honeyed words penned down by these computer geeks. They are smart people who knows well the cyber lingo that can unearth personal details from unsuspecting people from the other end of the line. Once they get little info they visualize and make up what that person is like. More often it is falsely presented. Exchanging of emails, chatting can be interesting and fun but it can also create an emotional feelings like in the real world. We are often hypnotized by words that are often written at the spur of the moment and forgotten as soon as they leave the net.
What I like about this unique cyberspace camaraderie is the non presence of "glare and stare" factors. I feel comfortable in confiding to virtual friends. I am barring my soul. Suddenly the chatting stops and the email stops. Why? you realize that you have rubbed on the wrong shoulders, the topics doesn't excite you anymore,something in that person makes you uncomfortable. It just fizzles into the thin air. I have to draw a thick line between reality and virtual friends, at least if being dumped, I'll know where they stay. Through cyberspace one can create closeness and fondness through exchange of words which can actually derail the proper functioning of the brain for a while and jump start the heart to ecstasy like a fairy kind of story.
It is a dangerous game getting involved in cyberchat, we don't know who we are chatting with, so don't believe in words conveyed through the net chat (probably) populated by creepy geeks, deranged looneys and ex-cons. Stay true to your physical friends as they know us better and we are confident they are there when we need them most in times of difficulties. Have you ever found a true virtual friends whom you can chat where you can really put your heart and soul?
14 responses
@riyasam (16556)
• India
8 Dec 08
how true!!!they project a personality which is so different from reality.it is so easy to be fooled by such unscrupulous people.i thought i was quite level-headed untill i fell for an online man.but i came to my senses,before i did something drastic.
@zandi458 (28102)
• Malaysia
9 Dec 08
Mech, you are the last person I would want to meet in person. Joking, maybe who knows I bump into your territory in not too far from now. I have connections in US, England and Germany and one sister is in Adelaide. I have another sis in law married to an Englishman who owns a motel somewhere in England who have been waiting for my arrival for years now. I don't like the long flight so have been putting it off so many times.
@suruchi86 (1873)
• India
27 May 09
I'm also an introvert person and feel more comfortable in sharing my feelings on internet rather than in real world. However, I don't like to chat online and get involved very much with anybody, even in virtual world also.
1 person likes this
@suruchi86 (1873)
• India
29 May 09
Yes, I agree, but one has to be careful of cyber squatters.
1 person likes this
@suruchi86 (1873)
• India
10 Dec 08
Frankly speaking, I don't like cyberchatting as I don't know the person on other side and even only one unknown wrong person may wreck your life.
@suruchi86 (1873)
• India
11 Dec 08
Yes. This is specially true in today's terror filled world. So please be very careful from the persons sitting on the other side. One should never disclose his or her personal information online unless one is very certain about the other person or website or email or even SMS.
1 person likes this
@hotsummer (13837)
• Philippines
9 Dec 08
i haev not had serious relationship with any one online not because i don't easily people words on the line. i guess that i have not found any person whom i feel genuine enough to fall in love with me. most of the people i have talked with are honest enough to say what they wanted and mostly they just wanted to chat away with their time cause they are bored on thier place and they don't want any serious relationship and so i don't expect much from them though i wish sometimes tha i will be able to find someone who will want to meet up with me and develop some personal relationship with me and have same good experience as soem other people have experienced on their online chat mates and they end up with as their real life partner.
1 person likes this
@hotsummer (13837)
• Philippines
9 Dec 08
well i just hope that i will be able to recognize that person. anyways, hopefully i will get the love that i am looking for. seems a very hard thing to happen though. but still hoping though.
1 person likes this
@shibham (16977)
• India
29 May 09
hai zandi. good topic. a virtual friend can't be trustworthy all the time. we can't judge a friend by their words. it may be their exaggerative compose by which we feel that he/she is that person who is eligible to be our friend. but it may be our illusion. but it is also right that a virtual friend can be a real friend if both are conscious about relationship. everything rely on us bcoz all of us are mature and well skilled to judge anything. thanks.
1 person likes this
@zandi458 (28102)
• Malaysia
29 May 09
Very true . It is only a game of the mind as virtual people are no less then a game of hide and seek. Sometimes you see them and sometimes they disappear for a long time and come back again. But it is a lot of fun to be talking to people who are real on the other end of the line but a total stranger to us.
@Jody20 (887)
• Netherlands
8 Dec 08
I never found a virtual friend that i trusted completly because you never know who you really chatting with. You get hypnotized by words and get a false kind of security and feel more comfortable in confiding because you can stop with chatting and forget about it. So chatting with virtual friends is fine but stay true to your physical friends there always there when you need them.
1 person likes this
@Opal26 (17679)
• United States
9 Dec 08
Hi zandi! Are you saying that I should love my friends here
at mylot? Oh my goodness!lol You know you put this discussion
into words that are once again quite eloquent! (I say that
to you alot) But, I do know that some people do get caught
up in those "cyber relationships" and get hurt sometimes really
badly. I would never get "involved" with someone to that extent!
Although I do bare my heart and soul here to people in this forum,
I trust only a few as "friends". There are some that I have
continued a friendship off the Lot, meaning we speak in emails
privately. Quite honestly, I don't even trust all my "physical
friends"! Some have dug the knife deeper than I care to admit!
So I am careful with all my friendships at this point and trust
NO ONE COMPLETELY especially the ones NEAR AND DEAR!
@zandi458 (28102)
• Malaysia
9 Dec 08
The word 'trust' is no longer worthy to put forward in any kind of relationship, believe me some people just go crazy about words they see and hear in mylot I can see some good orators here who sound very convincing and a faint hearted person will just freeze upon reading them.
@savypat (20216)
• United States
8 Dec 08
These virtual friends can be a trap, many people seem to stat to think they are real as the relationship continues. You can see this happening when yuo start a discussion on a subject that is personal but has nothing to do with you. The readers responses are often very personal. I find I want to yell at them sometimes, I want to say I just started this discussion, it really didn't happen to me in real life.
@gracie04 (4549)
• Philippines
8 Dec 08
I don't have time to chat with people whom i don't know personally.. for me, it's a waste of time.. i'd rather spend the day looking for online opportunities than talking with some pretentious people over the net.. yeah, its true that you can share some of your problems with your virtual friend but the question is how long is he/she going lend his/her ears for you? Real friends can dump you anytime, what more those so-called cyberfriends you met over the web?
@lampar (7584)
• United States
27 May 09
There is always cybercriminals lurking online looking for their prey, no doubt about that, so it is always good to be prudent with any virtual friend or chatter, unless you are not concerned about your own safety, many people had been victimized through online activities already. 
@mariposaman (2959)
• Canada
8 Dec 08
I wonder why you are so jaded. There are good people out there on the internet as well as bad people. I think most people eventually show what kind of person they are. What event triggered this negative attitude? You are tarring everyone on the internet with the same brush and while I do not know you I can assure you I am neither a creepy geek (well not that creepy and not that geeky), deranged looney nor ex-con. Wost thing I ever got caught at were two speeding tickets.
Having said that I agree that your physical friends are the best, they can help you move and give you a real hug when you need one, and maybe spot you a 20$ when you are short until payday. I cannot see friendships developing the same way as in real life and cyber friends should never take the place of real flesh and blood persons. I confess I have met some very nice people that I consider my friends on the internet even though I have never met in person. There are a few that I have known over the years that I would get along with them if they were here in person though.
I do find it odd though when someone says I fell in love with somebody over the internet and have never met them in person. That is just far out strange to me.
@zandi458 (28102)
• Malaysia
9 Dec 08
Hi Mariposaman, I hope you don't take it to heart as I am only generalizing my views here. I must admit that I have mistakenly painted the whole picture in one shade that those who are sincere have been implicated here. Maybe because of an incident I can't accept to be true I come to the conclusion that this place is no 'raw deal'. The physical friends are equally notorious as in virtual friends. It is how we tackle the situation and be true to ourselves that we can foster more lasting friendship here. If some is going to lie, they are a liar. Whether online or off line, a liar is a liar! A lot of people are just too trusting! As soon as they receive words of comfort from an "interested" person, they are ready to pour their heart and soul out! And that is the beginning of mysterious heartaches if they take it as bible truth. There is a time for
jokes and humor here but getting emotionally involved is not going to be a safe heaven. We are all committed adults and the cyber doesn't see to that and more often are carried away in the sweetness of comforting words minced to suit every situation.
jokes and humor here but getting emotionally involved is not going to be a safe heaven. We are all committed adults and the cyber doesn't see to that and more often are carried away in the sweetness of comforting words minced to suit every situation.
@savak03 (6684)
• United States
9 Dec 08
Your warning about cyber relationships is very timely. While sometimes it is a relief to unburden your soul to someone you know you will never meet it is good to be cautious. You do not want to publish personal details that could be used by scoundrels to locate you in the real world. You also want to protect your identity because identity theft has become a very common crime all over the world. If someone gets your personal statistics and opens credit accounts in your name they can make your life extremely difficult. Still I like taking part in forums because I can learn about things that I would normally not get to any other way.
1 person likes this
@zandi458 (28102)
• Malaysia
9 Dec 08
Savak it is only my personal opinion. They are of course many people out there who are sincere and can be called friends. As a matter of fact, this is only an eye opener as what one might expect in this virtual world. That response above yours is something to think about the whole truth of this internet friendship. He may not be agreeable to my views but he has a valid point to counter proof that I am not true at all. I agree and surrender to his views.
@Llonorra22 (1150)
• Philippines
10 Dec 08
I haven't gotten into that because I never engaged myself into that kind of situation. I'll never do that because for me it's a very risky thing to do...
1 person likes this
