Abuse on men.

This is definitely one of our double standards. There are support groups, shelters and other places for abused women to go. They are so plentiful that one of the few reasons women have to not seek their help is they aren't ready to ask for it. On the other hand, where do abused men go? An abused woman is considered a victim, but an abused man is considered a wimp.

The last figures I am aware of are 8 years old, but in the US there is one man battered (app. 850,000) for every 2 women (app. 1.5 million). That's the reported cases, and while it's likely both figures are understated considerably, the prevailing cultural view of men as the strong ones suggests that far more unreported cases of battered men exist than of women. Not to downplay the violence against women, which is enexusable. Either way it is inexusable. Lash

Actually abuse on men is on the rise.This was not brought to light,many men just suffered in silence.There are so many laws protecting women and the women if they want to take revenge make use of these laws.Now men who are suffering are forming groups where their problems can be addressed.Abuse whether its on women,men or children cannot be tolerated.Its time people rise up to the occasion and act more humanly.

I think it's sad and sick. We raise our sons to never, under any circumstances, hit a woman. They carry this belief into adulthood. But when their girlfriend or wife clocks them over the head with a frying pan, they are considered a wimp if they do not defend themselves. Yet, they are doing what they were taught. They are trying to be gentlemen and they understand that they are stronger than the women who are hurting them. This is a horrible catch 22 we are putting our men into. What is the solution, I don't know, but they do need somewhere to go.

Very good discussion, so often we focus on battered women and no one ever speaks about battered men. For most persons this is not possible and others think its retribution for all the women who have been abused by men. I agree with you too that it is probably harder for a man because one there are little if any facilities in place to deal with this situation and two he runs the risk of being ridiculed if he were to report such an incident. As result many men may be going through this situation without any kind of help.

I worked at a women's shelter and yes we would get phone calls from men from time to time. There was nothing that we could do other than have them call the police, because we could not put men in a shelter where women were running from men.... It just made no sense to terrorize these women again, so we would tell them to call the police and the police would help them to deal with it. I would recommend that they leave and go stay with friends or at a homeless shelter or something until they can get on their feet. I think that men need shelters too, but men are less likely to reach out for help, because they see it as a weakness, or as a sign that they are less of a man. I have been the battered woman twice now and I would not have a problem sharing a space with a battered man, but I know some women are just terrified of men in general at that point, so I can see both sides of this issue.... Thanks for this discussion.... It is interesting.

There are a lot more battered and or abused men than ever gets reported. It is seen as a sign of weakness for men to say they are abused. Also though men do get battered more of them are abused mentally and emotionally and that is just as devistating and often worse than physical abuse. Most men stay in a relationship even if abuse due to pride, because there really are few support groups for men in this situation to reach out too and sometimes there may be children involved and especially if there are male children they may be concerned that leaving the spouse might take it out more on the sons. I have known of some men who have been abused or battered. It is very sad to see this. But you cannot help unless they want it. They often are in denial or don't want to make trouble for themselves or anyone else and sometimes they have a lot to lose especially if and or when the woman makes a convincing case it is she not he who is the victim. When family, neighbors or friends know or see it is otherwise. Police have a tendancy to believe a woman even when she is lying. I know of one about a year ago the woman is vindicitave and she is not a big woman she is small but vicious and because she is small the police arrested her husband though she was the one who assulted and was abusing him. He in trying to get away from her elbowed her and hit her nose which was bleeding. She gave a big song about how he was beating on her. Neighbors who saw it tried to tell the police she started it and always does but they arrested him. So these are reasons men don't get help. Often they are not believed to be abused or are laughed at, mocked or scorned. There is a double standard and men as much as women need support groups, shelters and help.

Yes it does work both ways here in the UK. I think men need to stand up to these women also. Not by hitting them but I see some that let women shout their mouths of at them and they just sit and take it. I think if they told these women what they where behaving like it would really make them think. Well hitting men is different. None of us have a right to do this and as you say these men should report this but I think they might look like wimps among other guys so they do not do it often. Children should not have to listen to any of this abuse by either partner in a home as it really affects them. I hate anyone arguing in front of my children and I always tell them off even if it is strangers.