Another internet love tragedy
By gicolet
@gicolet (1702)
United States
December 9, 2008 10:22am CST
I've heard of this story few days ago but not until last night when I saw it on TV that I felt how tragic the story is. A 45-yr-old guy wanted to propose to his 22-yr old Filipina fiancee and suddenly a strong wave swept her away from him. She just arrived in Oregon 3 days before and they were supposed to marry on Dec. 6. They met on the internet in 2005, he went to meet her family in 2007, and then when they were finally together in Oregon she was swept away to the sea and died. Just like that. No foul play was suspected and the search was called off yesterday. The girl's family back in the Philippines want her body back but no one knows if it can ever be found.
Ok, there is this one question in this Fil-Am forum on the net. Why didn't the guy try to save his drowning fiancee? Sure she was 30 ft away from him he said but still why didn't he instinctively jump to the sea and try to save her? When he was being interviewed on tv, he wasn't even crying. I would break down when asked questions about my dead fiancee if I were him but he seemed so calm answering questions. What do you guys think? Was it an accident or was there a foul play?
2 people like this
15 responses
@modstar (9605)
• Philippines
9 Dec 08
I've never seen that on Tv yet but i think the guy's just shocked about the incident which made him act a little different. Maybe, just maybe, it didn't sink in to him yet. Some guys just don't show much emotions. I'm sure he did something to make their relationship work so i don't doubt his feelings for the girl. Yes he may love the girl but he could also love himself more and jumping to the sea might cost him his life too. I don't discount the theory that there could be some foul play involved. There's a possibility of love angle if it's a crime.
2 people like this
@aisaellis22 (6445)
• United States
9 Dec 08
Oh my, this is a heartbreaking story. I can really relate to it because I married an american guy too. I don't know what to say about it because I haven't seen the news. Maybe there's no foul play there because I can't see any reason why a guy would try to kill his fiancee. Maybe if they are already married, there is a possibility because of insurance purposes but since they weren't married yet, I don't think the guy would kill her but we don't know right? But it's really impossible because the man is for sure spent a lot money in order for her to be with him in oregon just to kill her?
@gicolet (1702)
• United States
9 Dec 08
I've thought about that too. I mean what a waste of 3 yrs of distant dating only to get her killed by the waves when she was finally with him to spend the rest of their lives together. How very tragic indeed. So when he didn't try to save her it's either he wanted to get rid of her or he was just plain coward and afraid to lose his own life? Might have been a really quick rational thought and this is his statement:
"Before I lost track of her I saw her floating away with her arms stretch out and her mouth wide open like Oh my God"
How could a big guy just stood there and watch his 4'11" petite fiancee being taken away by the waves?
1 person likes this
@aisaellis22 (6445)
• United States
9 Dec 08
Maybe he really tried to save her or maybe he doesn't know how to swim or something. We don't know because we are not there. I know it's tragic to him seeing his fiancee slowly drowning.
1 person likes this
@aisaellis22 (6445)
• United States
9 Dec 08
But you're right, he is coward to risk his own life.
1 person likes this
@bcote212 (1112)
• United States
10 Dec 08
I still think that he was hurting inside. Not everyone expresses sorrow by crying. You have to understand that this poor guy was probably interviewed a hundred times by different television stations, and basically asked the same questions over and over again. Its hard enough to lose someone that you love, but I'm sure its harder with the whole world watching.
@gicolet (1702)
• United States
10 Dec 08
I was just wondering if he was required to accept interviews. I just can't imagine myself accepting several interviews after my loss. I mean I'm grieving for heaven's sake leave me alone! Maybe one interview on the first day after it happened is enough but to go through a lot of interviews after that is just too much. Maybe he had become used to the interviews that's why he couldn't show any emotions anymore?
@jessi0887 (2788)
• United States
9 Dec 08
Just because he wasn't crying doesn't mean he doesn't care. My fiance never cries when upset he just ignores everyone. However I would question why he didn't try to save her.
1 person likes this
@jlamela (4897)
• Philippines
10 Dec 08
Though it is hard to draw out conclusion of a foul play, but this incident somehow reflect on the sad fact that filipinas are lured to marry foreigners through online dating because of so many reasons which are hard to specify here.
There are so many cases like this happening now, I feel sadden with women who became the victim of online relationship, some of them had nothing but good intention to look for partners but then destiny can be cruel sometimes. It is always ideal to not splash right away to the marriage offer of the guy when you only know each other through online dating sites, just know him better first, though there are some filipinas who have nice stories after the match, but mostly ended up in misery.
Try not to agree right away to the tempting offer of going abroad, know him first and make a research about his personal background and always take precautionary measures.
1 person likes this
@g2_garnet (77)
• Philippines
10 Dec 08
I think... there's a foul play for it...
well if the guy really love the girl then he might tried to save the girl... atleast both of them are trying to save thier lives for the last chance...
well... God Knows!!!1
1 person likes this
@gicolet (1702)
• United States
10 Dec 08
I think he did love her but he didn't love her that much to try to save her. I would be scared to jump too. The guy had probably thought about his own safety but that's normal and understandable. You know that song by Whitney Houston "Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all". It's just a tragic...very sad news.
1 person likes this
@skysuccess (8858)
• Singapore
10 Dec 08
gicolet,
Frankly speaking, I really do not have the slightest empathy and sympathy for this particular individual here. He is no 3 year old and he is certainly not a stranger to the risks and dangers of the place where he wanted to propose his marriage. For crying out loud, as if there is no better and SAFER place to do it, what is it with him? I just wonder. Does one like him need to be re-educated about safety and being safe? Come on!
I can tell you hands down and to my last dollar, it is not as simple as it looks and seems like here. I hate to point out that there just might be a tinge of foul play here.
@gicolet (1702)
• United States
10 Dec 08
I know it's the same arguments they have in Fil-Am group in yahoo. Why would he take her there while he was so aware of the danger of the waves at this time of year? Maybe he wasn't thinking at all? I don't know. Then the guy also said that he saw someone in a red jacket out in the sea. He thought for a moment that it was her but then that person asked him if he needed some help. If he was THAT close to be able to talk to that person and thought it was her, why didn't he try to jump still as soon as he saw the red jacket?
@Remembering1996 (2219)
• United States
9 Dec 08
That is sad and as for him not jumping in to save her maybe it's because the waves were to much for him to do so. I'm sure he wanted to break down on live television but held it in because he didn't want anyone seeing him crying. Yes it's a natural thing to do when losing a loved one but some show their emotions in different ways. My heart and prayers go out to him and her family.
1 person likes this
@rizzu87 (860)
• Malaysia
9 Dec 08
I think it can be an accident, and he may not cry because it was an internet love which may have been a week love. And he dint feel that bad about it. But i dont know why dint he jump and tried to save her. He must have been a bit scared and may be wondering that he may die if try saving her. There could be many reasons actually behind it. But let me tell you... internet love cannot survive except very few exceptional cases...
@gicolet (1702)
• United States
10 Dec 08
You would be surprised on how many successful marriages there are which started from the internet. I know a lot of couples who did not meet online and are now divorced. It all depends on how two people carry their relationship whether they met on the internet or not.
1 person likes this
@BlueGoblin (1829)
• United States
9 Dec 08
Maybe he couldn't swim? Besides its gotta be cold in Oregon right now.
1 person likes this
@LetterWriter (58)
• Philippines
10 Dec 08
Just so sad:( She's so young. A lot of potentials. It's really tragic especially for her parents.
@saichandtalluri (1486)
• India
10 Dec 08
Yes all the girls must be very careful with these type of dealings because there are many such incidents going on around the world and every girl should take this type of incidents as an example and be very careful because love a very sencitive fealing and it hurts a lot first suspect and then belive everyone on the internet before comming to any conclution
@checapricorn (16061)
• United States
10 Dec 08
[i]Hi gicolet,
I posted this too and felt sad for the family, I hope even if it's impossible, her body wills till recovered!
I don't think there's a foul play on this, to think that the guy exerted a lot of effort and spent money just to bring her and marry him! ANyway, let's include this girl in our praye[/i]r!
