taking a bully into your house

Accepting this is a hypothetical situation only, it could also become a reality at some time because it seems that bullying is increasing. That is not to say that all bullies come from homes where there is no real parenting happening or that the bully is not fed. Also not all children who are from broken homes and/or are underfed will become bullies. There are several things to consider here. My first and main priority must and will always be the welfare and health of my own child. If my child is being bullied and beaten to such an extent that they do not want to go to school because a bully hurts them, there is no way I could have that bully in my home. When things reach the stage where my child is so badly abused that they are terrified of going to school, they need help as well as love and support. There is every chance that my child has low or maybe no self esteem because of the bullying they have been subjected to. Why on earth would I want to have in my own home someone who has in fact terrorised my child? Telling a bully or aggressive chid that if they hurt someone they will lose the chance of going to a good family and instead will be going to reform school will have no effect at all. Remember that children do not become bullies overnight and at the same time they cannot change their ways overnight. Yes the bully does need the help and support of people who will love and care for him but there is no way that I could allow any further mental or physical harm to come to my child. On and my child who is being bullied is the oldest one. She has 2 younger siblings at the same school already and a third sibling to start at the same school when it resumes next week. Do you think I would put my other children at risk by allowing this bully into my home? Another great discussion and even if the situation is hypothetical, bullying is a serious problem in some areas. So being able to discuss the issue might help some parents who have children who are still young.

That's a tough one. The bully could be resentful of the family for taking them away from their original family and still try to gain revenge even though they have been threatened. Or the bully could learn from the example set by your family and a strong loving relationship starts that continues for life. I'm curious to know what would happen if you refused to take them in. Would they stay in the broken home for now or just bounce around in the system until placed with the new family. I would decide to have a conversation with the bully, and depending on the answers and attitude received, I would either decide to take them in or forget about it. It also depends on how many impressionable kids I have in my household. Yea, I know that was vague, but that's what I would do.

It would be hard but I think that I would. And maybe in doing so help the boy understand that life isn't as bad as he thinks or as it seems that their is love and good out in the world. And I would try to better prepare him for his new family. But he would know I wouldn't tolerate his bullying in my home. I think all kids needs guidance and love that not all are bad as they first appear and when that helps that child I will feel the better for it also. And it would be a great lesson for my own child.

I think I would be willing to take this child into my home. My husband is a part time law enforcement officer and both of us are very involved with the youth in our community. So if asked I am certain we would do this. Of course this child would have to be watched closely and hopefully we could eventually have a positive influence on him or her. Some kids just don't get the love and support they need at home so they seek attention in any way they know how. I have always tried to teach my kids to reach out to such children and see how they can possibly be of help.

No. it would send the wrong signal to your own child, It would say the wrong thing. It would look to your child that you prefer the bully over him or her.And that he/she now has to scared to come home And going to school. I know if my bully came to live with my family, I would have either ran away Or killed myself.

Winter you should be a TV writer (sounds like a sitcom show). Anyway I agree with Rob. I am very pro-adoption fostering but in this case I think you need to put your own child first. It would be far to uncomfortable a situation to put them in. I would be far more likely to help if I did not already have a child or I had an older child that could act as a mentor.

very hard question. But I have took kids in my home that were bullies maybe not to my kids but to others. One I am thinking of had a drunk father that was raising him. He came to live with us. and he did ral good every said he would fight my kids never did. some said he would rob us blind never did even when we left mney out. Then he got married and lived with us for awhile after they moved out though every thing went down the drain. even tho we had tauht him right from wrong and loved him He ended up stealing and going to jail. Last time I heard about him he was still in jail and one of his kids has followed in his foot steps Some even after living in a foster home he really got bad , but now he is in the NAtional guardss so hoping he has turned himself around!

I don't know if I could do it, I would be to upset over the fact that this kid has hurt my child in the past. On the other hand, I would take the child in and treat him/her just I would just like I would do with my other two children. That way he/she will be under my roof and my supervision, so if anything does happen again, I will be the first to know. I don't think a week or even two weeks would make a difference in this child's life, since the damage was already done. Now six months would make a difference, especially in a home with two prior active military parents, with one in the Army National Guard, .

I would have to talk to my child and see how they feel, of course telling him also what happened in this other childs home to try to make him understand. If I went on just what I wanted to do, I would do it. I have taken in many kids from homes that werent that good for short times, the longest being about a year. No Im not a foster mom or anything. The family was having problems, the kids would ask to stay here and we didnt have the heart do say no. Anyways if my child was alright with it I would do it. It isnt the childs fault that he got such bad parents. He was probably acting up to get attention. They always say bad attention is better then no attention.

No, I would not do this to my child. The welfare of my child hast to come before any other. I would not have him in my house, pounding on my son while he learns to behave. I would probably talk to my pastor about finding someone in the church who is good with children, but does not have any. That is the best solution for such a child.

NOPE, I was the victum of verbal bullying, I know that's as bad as physical, I'm not letting this beast in my home.

I might be able to if it were no longer than 6 months.. It would be hard but it could be done.. I don't know if I would be able to trust him and would have to be ever watchful, but it isn't that hard to love a child, even bullies need love.. I believe love can change anything, especially with a young child that apparently has never been shown any.. My son and his visiting friends used to be picked on by a neighborhood bully, until we started inviting him into the house to play video games, or to play basketball in the yard with the others.. He finally quit being a bully and was a very nice child for awhile.. Then a few years later, he got into some very big trouble qand has been in jail ever since, and will probably be in there for the rest of his life.. He is not quite 30 yrs old yet and has been in jail for about the last 10 years.. He keeps getting more time added on due to the fighting that he does in jail.. I sometimes wonder if his mother had cared, would he be there..

no way.. that would be putting my family in danger.. bullys dont just turn off bad behavior for the heck of it!! the bully wouldnt benefit from staying at his victims house anyways because he would never be treated fairly.. he needs to have a fresh start

Of course I would let the poor guy in! Or gal. We are all human and we all deserve a second chance. Plus, from prior expierence, I've found that putting enemies together for long periods of time will make them grow to enjoy each others company. Some of my worst enemies turned out to be my best friends growing up.

I really do not believe that I would. My child would be very intimidated and is already affected by the treatment. I would not put my child through that. Let him take in the child.

Under those circumstances, yes I would take the child in. Hopefully the two children would turn out to be the best of friends. I would of course talk to my child and or children first to let them know what all has been going on with this troubled child and to please just be kind to him/her.

I believe I would be able to help in that manner, but I would never let the child be alone with my own child/children. Or at least not until the bully could be trusted to behave like I would expect my own kid(s) to act.

No, I wouldn't do it. My child would have been traumatised enough already and I am sure the judge could find another good, loving home to foster this child in until a more permanant situation could be sorted for him. I would have to put my own child first and it wouldn't be fair to him/her to force him/her into that situation. In fact, the judge needs his butt kicked for even suggesting such a thing. Violetdreams

I don't mind at all because i will be guarding him more than my child. Guard him in a sense that if he commits a mistake then it's goodbye for him. I guess i need to emphasize my authority to him otherwise he would be beating up my child again which i can't afford anymore. I will treat him fair but if something goes wrong, i have to reprimand him and tell him the possible consequence of his actions. He must learn to deal with me in six months. I shouldn't be the one dealing with him.

I definitely wouldn't want to take a bully into my home especially if I have kids of my own. I have had some extreme experience with bullies and I despise them to the utmost. I wouldn't want to see my own child being bullied by someone else like I was before, and I definitely wouldn't want to see them influenced to become bullies themselves. I could be judgmental but no, I wouldn't take the risk.