Both Of My Brothers Are A-HOLES!!
By CatsandDogs
@CatsandDogs (13963)
United States
December 10, 2008 9:15pm CST
Both of my brothers and their wives are taking a trip this month. One to the Bahamas and the other to Hawaii. Both knowing full well that our parents are in dire need of money to make their house payment!! They told mom and dad all about it knowing full well of their situation!! How freaking cold can one be?!?! Damn them both!! Damn them to hell!! My husband and I have bent over backwards to help my parents and my brothers have given some monetary help but damn! If they can take a trip, they most certainly can help our parents!! But they say they don't have it!! Oh, they have the money for a trip but none to help our parents? WTF is wrong here?! Friends, I don't get it!! I thought we were suppose to help our loved ones especially our parents!! I sent them a letter telling them to not say anything about their trips because it's like slapping them in the face. In fact, here's exactly what I sent to them. What do you think of it?
All of you are about to take some really nice trips. That's all well and good and all and I hope you all have a great time but please, don't tell mom and dad about it because they're in such dire need of money and to hear about the trips you are taking is like slapping them in the face. I know that's NOT what you intend to do but seriously, think about it. What if the shoe were on your foot? You wouldn't want to hear about others taking trips or buying things either. I talked to mom today and all she did was cry. It tears me apart to hear her cry. She's so depressed from being sick from the stroke and falling and breaking something yet again AND is scared of losing the house. Yes they made a huge mistake but who the hell hasn't? We've all made mistakes and they're no different except that they may pay dearly for this one. Now I've gotten in touch with St. Patricks Church and they're able to send around $100. to $200. towards the house payment. ** said he'll send them something on Friday. Mom and dad said they have $300. towards it and got another $200. from someone else so now they need $575.28. I've called the church across the street from me and am going to meet with the pastor tomorrow in hopes they can help. I'm going to put donation jars out again in hopes to get the money they need. ***** and I don't have it but damn it all, I WILL put the balance on my credit card if I have to. It's not what I want to do but I will do it if I can't get the money up.
Neither of us are putting Christmas decorations up because we've all lost the spirit. Christmas has been taken away from us down here. Mom doesn't want it and neither do we. BUT, it would be so nice if you all would come down and spend Christmas day with them. Not me and ***** but with mom and dad. It would be such an awesome Christmas gift to them both. No gifts but yourselves which would be more than a gift to them. Now none of us down here can afford Christmas again this year for the 2nd year in a row so please don't get anything for us either. I keep saying that it has to get better but as of yet, it hasn't happened. I'm haven't lost hope YET but I'm getting pretty damn close to it.
Anyway, just wanted to ask you all to please, don't say anything about your trips, at least not right now.
7 people like this
17 responses
@nadec23 (63)
• Philippines
11 Dec 08
You're definitely right there cats...Family should help one another in times of trouble and crisis. There could be no one but you and your brothers are the one who can help them a lot in this kind of situation. I'm happy you're so kind to your parents and that you value much their situation thinking that if it were to happen to you, you would also be hurt and sad. I just do hope that your brothers will have that conscience in helping your parent to stand up again amidst trials in life. Parents are always the one who sacrifices all things for their sons/daughters, and that without them, life would be meaningless and we wouldn't become what we are right now unless otherwise in contrast to what I've said earlier. So by this, I hope you and you're brothers will help one another in order to bring back the situation into place.
3 people like this
@CatsandDogs (13963)
• United States
11 Dec 08
I really wish I could help them more but I can't because I don't have the cash to do so. My brothers obviously have it but won't come off of it. They're unbelievably cruel as hell! Their time will come some day. Their time will come and God help them when it does!
2 people like this
@nadec23 (63)
• Philippines
11 Dec 08
In that case, I know your parents will understand also your situation. It's not that you don't like to help, it's just that you lack the resources to do so. Your parents will probably value much your help even though it's in a small way. After all, great things starts from humble beginnings. Anyways, I just do hope that someday your brothers will have a change of heart to help your parents. God bless and good luck to you and your family. :)
3 people like this
@cher8558 (425)
• Canada
11 Dec 08
Hi friend,
This is ironic. I just wrote here last week about the same thing.
I too was so upset. We are in dire straights also. We're having to put oil in our house one gas jug at a time every night. Our hydro bill and so on are crazy. My hubby is the only one working as I am disabled. However my son works with my husband.
Well all of a sudden two weeks ago, my son decided to take his fiance to Cuba. Within 24 hours he had it booked and off they went. I was so friggin upset, I didn't know what to do.
First I thought it was just me being selfish, but no. We have never charged our children rent (big mistake). I just can't believe he could be so blood selfish.
So believe me friend when I say, I know exactly how you feel.
I don't know. Is this how we raised our kids? I didn't think so. But I guess I have learned different.
Christmas is going to be lean as it is. I also have another son and a daughter. My daughter is 14.
Well we can just do what we can do. I am a very strong believer in Karma. So eventually something will slap them in the face to wake them up, I hope.
Merry Christmas CatsandDogs
Cheryl
3 people like this
@CatsandDogs (13963)
• United States
11 Dec 08
Oh Cheryl. What happened to this generation?! For the love of God, what happened?! My parents never charged me rent when I returned a few times but I helped at every chance I had with everything. Like the one year when my husband had to go to Korea for a year, he was in the army, I went home for that year and I paid a third of the electric bill, my part of the phone bill and a third of the septic being pumped as well as bought groceries. I didn't have to but I wanted to and thought it was only fair and it was the right thing to do. You really need to teach that low life of a son of yours a lesson or two and charge him rent of at least $600. a month to cover the electric, water, oil and what ever else that they use. Maybe then he'll learn the value of a dollar. I hope and pray that your other son and daughter will be much better than this one is. I'm sure they will after seeing him do you guys the way he has. Bless your heart!! Hope you have a Merry Christmas too!
2 people like this
@kerriannc (4279)
• Jamaica
11 Dec 08
Cheryl charge him. Don't your husband his father has to pay him a salary. Use the rent to help out with the bills in the house. I always contributed in my parents house hold. When I started working as a teenager I help to pay the light bill and but food in the house. I went back home one month now and I help with the food stuff. I am not working alot of money and I have loans that I incurred when I have the shop but I see to it that things are in the house. These children does not believe in God and because of this they understand that the bible say Honor their Mother and Father. I can tell you that it is a blessing to honor your parents.
I have seen it work for me. When he comes back write a legal paper and let him signed it. When your husband pay him allow him to pay his rent. If he was paying rent outside the financial strain would be bigger. These kids does not have any heart.
I would never see my parents in need of help and just cross over them. Even my father who I am not so closed to talk that whenever time he need something it is me he ask because my elder sister will not give him. She has been travelling for years and never give him a soap. I am telling you the devil is in these children heart. She never used to attend church and this is the reason when ever time I see similar action I know that this is the reason. No heart of kindess, sympathy. It is a sad case. Put your foot down. You have send him to school for him to have a good education and for a woman to see him. If it was not your hard work on him he would be womanless now. Let them paid and stop straining and stressing out yourself.
2 people like this
@Thoroughrob (11742)
• United States
11 Dec 08
I can't believe they rubbed in their faces. I can't imagine what they are thinking. I guess out of site out of mind. Hopefully, you can get the money for the house payment, you can't keep putting it on your card. I hope that you get a buyer for the house soon!!
3 people like this
@CatsandDogs (13963)
• United States
11 Dec 08
I can't either. I'm the youngest and I know better! You'd think they'd know better too but apparently they missed that lesson a long time ago or they're a bunch of self centered morans which I think is the latter of the two. I'm so sick to my stomach over the whole thing that I'm beside myself but I betcha that I'll get the trampled upon for telling them so. Wait and see.
2 people like this
@GardenGerty (160483)
• United States
11 Dec 08
They do not sound like they think of anyone but themselves. I can guess that maybe they put their trips on credit cards, as well.
3 people like this
@CatsandDogs (13963)
• United States
11 Dec 08
Actually no, they saved for these trips all year long but still, they could keep their damned traps shut about it and come off of some money to help out more but they won't. They're self centered buttholes which will catch up with them some day. But I've gotta tell ya though, once my parents are gone, I'm outta here. Hubby and I plan on moving far far away from here and no one will have our address because I don't want anything to do with them after this.
3 people like this
@danishcanadian (28953)
• Canada
11 Dec 08
Oh, that would annoy the crap out of me! I can't believe that your brothers could even think of doing that, leaving you to handle everything, and leaving your parents with their problems. What kind of brothers/children are they, anyway? That's the problem with having children. Sometimes they turn out to be duds! Atleast YOU turned out well.
3 people like this
@CatsandDogs (13963)
• United States
11 Dec 08
I may have turned out well but it's KILLING me!! Sometimes I wish I could be a little less feeling but I am what I am and I can't change what I am. For the life of me, I don't know where my brothers are coming from or are thinking because they're so damned cruel!! I promise that when my parents are gone, I'm leaving here and moving far far away so that my brothers can't find me because I don't want a thing to do with them after this. This is just too damned much.
2 people like this
@Rozie37 (15499)
• Turkmenistan
11 Dec 08
I do not know why your brothers have made the decisions that they have. But keep in mind that there may be more to their story than meets the eye. For one thing, whenever there is a spouse involved, you have to make the choice that will satisfy both. Not only that, they could have been planning these trips and have non-refundable tickets. Sometimes getting away is the best thing for a very stressful life.
I see where you are coming from though, I could not imagine withholding anything of need from anyone in my family. I can not even resist getting the things that they want if I am able. But, everyone is different. I believe though that you still have an awful lot to be grateful for this Christmas. You parents and still alive and you can be with them. I would give up almost anything to be able to see my parents just one more time. My older sister moved to Atlanta this year and this will be the first Christmas where there is very little hope of seeing her and her children.
Keep believing in faith that God will bless your parents with what they need. But don't ruin this precious time you have with them, worrying about things that you can not control. God will work it out. In the meantime, thank him for all he has already done.
3 people like this
@Polly1 (12645)
• United States
11 Dec 08
Cats your are so right, both of your brothers are a$$holes. How selfish, uncaring, unfeeling, can you get. You have everyright to be pi$$ed to pisstivity at them. I wish I could give them both a big kick in the behind for you. They need their heads knocked together too.
2 people like this
@CatsandDogs (13963)
• United States
11 Dec 08
Polly, I've been in such a daze for two days now because of this. I just can't believe we're of the same blood because I would never ever ever in a million years do this to our parents or ANYBODY else for that matter!! There's no words to describe how I'm feeling right now. I wish I had a magic wand or a money tree for I'd give it all to my parents. Anything to make them happy. I hope my email makes both of my brothers (whom I'm ashamed to call brothers) makes them feel down low and rotten no good sob's that they are!!
2 people like this
@Katlady2 (9904)
• United States
13 Dec 08
Your brothers are just showing how truly selfish and self centered they really are. At this point I don't think anything you or anyone else says is going to sink into their thick selfish skulls. I don't even think pounding it in would do any good. At least your parents have you to stick by them, even when things are going badly. And your other discussion about prayers being answered proved that you're great to have around. Big hugs to you sweetie.
@koalatbs (2229)
• United States
11 Dec 08
I understand why you are asking your brothers & their wives not to say anything to your parents about their trips to Hawaii and the Bahamas. It sounds like your parents are having a really tough time financially right now and if they knew about the extravagently expensive trips their sons are planning on taking, I am sure it would make them feel awful and rejected too. I hope things get better for you and your parents CatsandDogs. Take care.
@Opal26 (17679)
• United States
11 Dec 08
Hey catsanddogs~I'm so sorry to hear all this. It seems that
you keep getting the shi!t end of the stick! Your brothers
sound like the most selfish people that I have ever heard
of! How can they be that way? They know that your parents
are having such a hard time now and they have the nerve to
tell them that they are going on these extravagant vacations?
What kind of sick azz people are they? And they can't help
their parents out knowing how sick they are and that they
are trying to get this house sold? They didn't even lift a
finger to help you fix the house after one of their darling
spawns wrecked? I just don't know what to say to you! Are you
sure you are really related to these two people that you call
your brothers? Damn! No wonder you don't want anything to do
with them! I sure as hell don't blame you! They are really
some pieces of work! I really feel for you! It's too bad that
it all still falls on you, as usual and you just don't seem
to be getting a break. I don't even know what words to say
to you anymore except that you are really some kind of special
person and your parents had better know this and truly
appreciate you because without you they would really be lost!
2 people like this
@hildas (3031)
•
12 Dec 08
Well where are our families sometimes when we need them most. I know how they feel. We nearly missed a payment and my Mum and dad have plenty of money and no one helped out.
I would be the first to help out if they needed it. They had it rough years ago and we where there for them but I guess they have bad memories.
I loved your title there. It sounded like my two brothers. Take care and my thoughts are with your parents CatsandDogs
I would be the first to help out if they needed it. They had it rough years ago and we where there for them but I guess they have bad memories.
I loved your title there. It sounded like my two brothers. Take care and my thoughts are with your parents CatsandDogs
@j47lee (740)
• Canada
11 Dec 08
In one of my posts i did mention that once the guys marry they forgot other ppl other than their wives... so wat they did was wrong... i feel daughters are always more helpful towards their parents... i feel sorry hearing abt ur situation.. its sad to see that people can have such sons..... at least ur parents have u to look after them....hope everything works out fine... but if is for the inheritance.. i think ur brothers would come running to get their share...
@Polly289 (269)
• New Zealand
11 Dec 08
Sorry to say this, but that's their perogative. I do understand where you're coming from but they obviously have families of their own and so do you. It seems to me that you have chosen to help your mum and dad and that's a great thing but allow your brothers to decide for themselves whether they should help your parents or not.
I do agree they should not mention their trips. It does seem heartless, to say the least but they are adults with their own lives. One day they may be in the same boat and may need help from their children and you can bet the old "karma" thing will kick in. What comes around definitely goes around.
Just continue on helping your mum and dad and be happy you can do it. Don't worry about what your siblings are doing or not doing. They'll get theirs one day.
@skysuccess (8858)
• Singapore
11 Dec 08
CatsandDogs,
As much as I hate to say this but have you ever thought that your parents might be at fault here? I mean sometimes they (your parents) need to voice out that they need help to your insensitive siblings. The assumption that they (brothers) are aware is simply not enough to support that they will be actually know the situation and what is required.
Believe me, I am not trying to be blunt here, but having experience this kind of situation with my friends over the years - I have gathered that the protectiveness from parents is actually sending wrong signals. To them, they will always have this "If they need help, they will say so" attitude and I really doubt if your email will actually convince them. As the saying goes: Nobody likes to be told, and especially from an indirect source. I think you should try and let your parents know that they have to speak up and speak out as far as your brothers are concerned. They are simply automatic and I can understand too. They just have their families to think about as well.
I am sure that amount outstanding split between the 2 of them is simply a pinch on their holiday spending money. Just ask and I am sure they will be able to see that it is not actually going to spoil their holiday plans. Just don't let the emotions get the better of you and forget that needful to be done. So, do have a word with your parents and I am sure that there will be a way around this problem.
Take care and have a nice day.
@kerriannc (4279)
• Jamaica
11 Dec 08
Your brothers are cold hearted and the women that they married are no better. I would never know that my parents are in dire mind and I just go on like everything is o.k neither did I discourage N to help his family. The seed that one sow is what they will be reaping. Leave them to God. I hope that you will received the assistance that is need so that they can be comfortable.
Children should always remember that parents sacrifice themselves to send them to school. Now that parents are looking for assistance it is for the child to make sure that his/her parents are happy. Some times children married to persons who does not have compassion and so they suck the evil that is around.
The bible says Honor thy mother and thy father so that your days be long. This I can tell you work. I have honor my parents and even when things seems as if it is not going to work out for me God open doors for me. I will encourage you to continue to do the things for your parents. My friend your Blessings will come and when it does come your brothers will be wondering what you have done. But this is what you have done. Jesus says that the poor and the widow has a special place in his heart.
Don't give up read your bible and pray. God keep and bless you.
@cynthiann (18602)
• Jamaica
11 Dec 08
I have just read your posting and I am in tears. How can people behave in such a callous way to family. Towards the mother that gave birth to them and fed them? To the father who provided for them? I can feel your pain and ange and just pray that enough money will come to help your parents keep their house.
One day your brothers will be old and how will their children treat them? I know one thing - what goes around comes around. They will not go unpunished. I hope that whilst on their holidays their conscience will get to them and that they will make ammends to your parents.
I am praying now that a way out of this awful situation that you are all in is ofund. Keep strong.
