Yesterday was my mother's 92nd birthday. It was great! Until the end.
By Wendy
@jerzgirl (9291)
United States
December 11, 2008 11:12am CST
All day, Mom got phone calls from family and friends, singing to her, wishing her a great day. She got a bouquet of flowers and an absolutely stunning pointsettia plant from my cousin and his wife. Then my daughter and I took er out to dinner at Applebees. Mom thoroughly enjoyed her birthday meal - she even had a Mango Martini and liked it! However, when we got home, instead of waiting for me to get the walker out of the car, she decided to start walking through the porch. She lost her balance, fell into the picnic table then into the bench and onto the concrete floor. I had to call 911. They took xrays and did a CAT scan of her head, but they didn't keep her.
We're going to have some trying times at home. Mom broke her ribs. She also tore the skin back on her right arm leaving about a 3" square open wound, but since they can't stitch her delicate skin, they had to "peel and stick" her skin back together as best as possible. They had her on morphine for the pain, but put her on Percocet to come home with. And, she is in a lot of pain. 
But, her attitude is still good as possible given how badly this hurts her. She says she never wants to do that again. I agree completely. So, Happy Birthday, Mom!
Considering how bad it could have been (they xrayed her right arm and left hand for fractures as well as her chest and CAT scanning her head because she hit that a bit, too), I think she can still remember the good part of the day, which was most of it. She talked about how she enjoyed her sirloin steak, baked potato, tomato basil soup, chips and spinach/artichoke dip and chips and salsa, and that martini. She also had dessert and the wait staff sang to her. She loved it! 
Right now, she's in her wheelchair in a lot of pain. A commode is being delivered within the hour so she doesn't have to try to go into the bathroom. I'm trying to find someone who can go fill her prescription for me for the pain meds because I can't leave her. But, somehow, we'll pull through. Mom's been through a lot of crap in her life, but I think this is the worst I've seen. Considering how bad it could have been, she was fortunate. 
So, if you can say prayers that she doesn't develop pneumonia since she has emphysema and can't take deep breaths because of the pain, I'd really appreciate it. Or send her good thoughts or white light or whatever method of sharing hope and goodness you have. And or all of the above would be greatly appreciated.
But, her attitude is still good as possible given how badly this hurts her. She says she never wants to do that again. I agree completely. So, Happy Birthday, Mom!
Considering how bad it could have been (they xrayed her right arm and left hand for fractures as well as her chest and CAT scanning her head because she hit that a bit, too), I think she can still remember the good part of the day, which was most of it. She talked about how she enjoyed her sirloin steak, baked potato, tomato basil soup, chips and spinach/artichoke dip and chips and salsa, and that martini. She also had dessert and the wait staff sang to her. She loved it!
Right now, she's in her wheelchair in a lot of pain. A commode is being delivered within the hour so she doesn't have to try to go into the bathroom. I'm trying to find someone who can go fill her prescription for me for the pain meds because I can't leave her. But, somehow, we'll pull through. Mom's been through a lot of crap in her life, but I think this is the worst I've seen. Considering how bad it could have been, she was fortunate.
So, if you can say prayers that she doesn't develop pneumonia since she has emphysema and can't take deep breaths because of the pain, I'd really appreciate it. Or send her good thoughts or white light or whatever method of sharing hope and goodness you have. And or all of the above would be greatly appreciated.4 people like this
21 responses
@tyc415 (5706)
• United States
11 Dec 08
I am so sorry to hear that your mother's birthday had to end the way it did but so happy that she did have a wonderful 92nd birthday. I guess after such a great day she felt like she was on top of the world and that she could do anything and felt all young again and didn't think she needed her walker but hopefully she did learn that she does need to be patient and use it. I agree it could have been so much worse.
Please send her my best wishes and I will say a prayer for her and the two of you will be in my thoughts.
2 people like this
@webeishere (36313)
• United States
11 Dec 08
My dad is the same way with his walker.
At times he feels he doesn't need it.
Wrong buddy.
He has learned the hard way by a few non serious falls luckily.
HAPPY POSTINGS FROM GRANDPA BOB !!~
1 person likes this
@jerzgirl (9291)
• United States
12 Dec 08
I do think that she was feeling so good about her day that she felt a bit more "able" than she was. God, how I wish she'd just waited for me to get the walker out. She's in so much pain right now. But, she's hanging in there. Her pastor came by today and stayed with her so I could go to the pharmacy and fill her pain prescription. That has helped a lot to make her more comfortable.
@ZephyrSun (7381)
• United States
11 Dec 08
That's to bad that her birthday had to end so bad. I hope that she recovers quickly and doesn't get sicker before she gets well. Good luck and my thoughts are with you and your mother.
2 people like this
@jerzgirl (9291)
• United States
12 Dec 08
Thanks, Zephyr. Because of the emphysema, she has a lot of phlegm build-up in her lungs. She tries to cough, but it hurts so bad. I'm having her use a technique we were shown when she got bruised ribs just over a year ago where you hug a pillow as you cough. It's not perfect, but she is able to cough a bit more doing than than not. If we can keep the pain level down, she'll be able to do a bit more to clear her lungs and take the deep breaths she needs.
@webeishere (36313)
• United States
11 Dec 08
My thoguhts and prayers are with you in this trying time.
Hope she gets well soon and nothing serious develops from this.
Taking care of my dad I fear the falls worst of all.
Luckily the falls he has taken have been inside.
All but one and that one was just a severely bruised hand.
Good luck and God Bless.
Happy Belated B-Day to your mom also.
HAPPY POSTINGS FROM GRANDPA BOB !!~
1 person likes this
@jerzgirl (9291)
• United States
12 Dec 08
I posted a photo of Mom at the restaurant under Plunketeer's response. It shows her right arm before the fall. If I get a chance, I'll take a photo of that arm now. It is so bruised and wrapped up where the skin was torn. I am so glad I got the restaurant photo. Mom and her martini.
@dreamweaverjan (3471)
• United States
12 Dec 08
Hey Girlfriend! I've been thinking about you and your Mom all day today, how's she doing now since you last wrote me?? That poor darlin!!! and You too!! You know I'm thinking of you guys and I truly am sorry about your Mom, give her a gentle
hug and kiss from me will you?? I've not had a chance to email you since this
morning, ( crazy day ), long tiring day...but I am thinking of you {{both}}!!!
Sending you Love, light, & healing energy!!!
1 person likes this
@jerzgirl (9291)
• United States
12 Dec 08
Thanks, Jan. She's hurting really bad. And, I can't do anything except tell her I understand and help her the best I know how, which isn't always perfect, but I try. Thank God I'm still able to help support her weight when we're switching from wheelchair to commode, but at least she's able to help me a little bit more now than earlier today. I'm going to call her case manager and see if we can have someone come out to bathe her while she's immobile. There's a lot I can do, but there's some things I'm just not comfortable doing, and that's one of them. She had someone before short term, but she was mobile at that time. Now she's not and she needs help with it. Someone who's trained in just how to work with someone who can't do for themselves. She's the one who got us the commode. I'm going to do that tomorrow while I'm thinking about it.
@dreamweaverjan (3471)
• United States
12 Dec 08
Hi Jerz; Yeah I'd call the caseworker again, this is going to be a long process
while she heals and at some point its going to become to much for you I'm afraid;
after reading your email this morning I'm really worried for her now, watch her
blood sugar as it will spike on her really high, you might have to switch
pain killer's too, I don't like the one they have her on now, but I "barf" that
one up, hopefully she won't keep some comfy pillows on her and behind her for
her back while sitting, broken ribs are no fun at all at any age, and she's
at an age where she is so fragile ( bone wise) bruising etc...
Take care Girlfriend; email me later on her condition if you have time;
I'm very worried about her!
@jessi0887 (2788)
• United States
11 Dec 08
So sorry to hear about this. I hope she gets better fast. My grandma who is 81 feel a year ago. My mom was behind her so it broke her fall.
2 people like this
@maroseqf (3657)
• Philippines
12 Dec 08
First of all, Belated Happy Birthday to you mom! Having reached that age is really something to be really happy about. Not everyone nowadays reach nine decades of their lives. Well, I will pray that she will recover from the fractures she had and that she will be healthier. I think your mom is a really positive person - talking about how she enjoyed the day inspite of the tragic experience she had. Well, I really hope that she will get better soon.
1 person likes this
@jerzgirl (9291)
• United States
12 Dec 08
I know - she so wishes the day hadn't ended the way it did. She groans a lot because she's in so much pain, but when she's talking to someone about that day, she'll talk about the good things before she talks about falling. I want her to keep focusing on the good. Thank you so much for your kind words.
@ParaTed2k (22940)
• Sheboygan, Wisconsin
12 Dec 08
(((((Jerzgrl and family))))))))
Glad to hear she has some happy memories of the day to get her through the rough times!
1 person likes this
@marymarj2002 (1769)
• Philippines
12 Dec 08
Hi! Extend my greetings to your mother. Tell her Happy Birthday. And I am happy that she was saved from the accident. I hope and pray that she will be okay soon so she won't be feeling the pains.
1 person likes this
@robert19ph (4577)
• Philippines
12 Dec 08
hello jerzgirl,
You must be so lucky that your Mom reached the age of 92 and still alive and kicking. If only she waited for you, she will not suffers a lot of pain. T'was really an accident and nobody likes it to happen. Hope and pray that she can recover it in no time. Her strong will, positive thinking, perseverance and faith will help her a lot to overcome all the pain. Aside from your tender loving care and a lot of prayers from friends, families and all. She'll be okey.
1 person likes this
@jerzgirl (9291)
• United States
12 Dec 08
Very lucky, I am. She has outlived everyone in her family and almost everyone in my father's family. Only his great-aunt lived longer - to 96. I even got to meet her. But, Dad passed five years ago and Mom's seven years older than him. So, with her having emphysema and being older, I was really expecting that I'd be helping my father now rather than my mother. She's had emphysema for about 20 years (or at least since she was diagnosed), and many don't go that long with that disease. She's got a determination many don't.
I posted a picture of her that I took at the restaurant before she fell on an earlier response by Plunketear, if you'd like to see her with her martini.
@leenie50 (3992)
• United States
11 Dec 08
Hi Jerz,
Sounds like your mother is a tough old bird, (As my Mother used to say).When they reach that age, it seems they feel like nothing can take them down. Even with a nasty fall, I'm sure she feels like it was not thar big a deal. I took care of an elderly couple from the age of about 88 till 92. Soon after I moved away they both passed away. It broke my heart. I hope and pray she makes it through this with out pneumonia.
leenie
1 person likes this
@jerzgirl (9291)
• United States
11 Dec 08
Hi Leenie - I've called her that myself - in fact, because her name is Bert, I call her "tough old Bert"! She has really dealt with so many things in her life that would have made others give up and she still keeps going. Right now, she's in a lot of pain and isn't happy about it at all. But, she isn't asking to be put in the hospital. She was finally able to help get herself up out of the wheelchair on to the commode, which was more than she could do earlier today. She's one tough lady!
@Opal26 (17679)
• United States
12 Dec 08
Hi jerz~Please wish you Mom a happy birthday and I'm so sorry
about her falling. I am praying for her and sending my most
positive thoughts her way. I feel so badly about the fall. I
know how awful that must be for her especially after having
such a wonderful day! My Mom is 78 and she just had a fall
recently and fractured her the bone at the end of her spine
and I'm in NY and she's in Florida and she doesn't want me
to come down because there's nothing that can be done and she
can walk, just not sit! It's so frustrating! I feel so bad
for you when you said you can't even go get the prescription
filled. I wish I lived near you so I could at least stay
with your Mom. I mean it! I don't drive, but I at least could
stay while you did errands. I don't understand why they didn't
keep her just so that she might be more comfortable, but I
guess there really isn't anything they can do for ribs. I
really mean it that I wish I could help you in some way. But,
my thoughts and prayers are with you.
1 person likes this
@jerzgirl (9291)
• United States
12 Dec 08
Opal, thank you so much. I was finally able to get hold of her pastor who was planning on coming to serve her communion. She came earlier than planned and stayed with Mom while I ran to the pharmacy and stopped for some soup for her to eat (the first she'd eaten since her birthday dinner). Another church member has offered to come stay with her if I need to get away, but on Thursdays, she volunteers at the local animal shelter, so wasn't available today. Mom was in a lot of pain by the time she got her pain meds. Even with them, she's in a lot of pain. It's hard to watch - I don't want it to be the "final straw" for her. But, we have the commode now and it's next to her wheelchair, so I help her stand and we shift her 90 degrees so she can sit on the commode, then we do it again to go back to the wheelchair. It hurts her so much, but earlier today she couldn't even do that. Thank you again for your kind and generous desire to help. It really was a happy birthday until then end, and even today when the pastor was here, she was still talking about the good events of the day. So, if she can keep focused on those, I think she'll be fine (or as fine as she's able to be). I keep telling her it will get better even though right now it's awful. I know she knows that.
I posted a picture I took at the restaurant under Plunketear's response if you want to see her BEFORE the fall with her martini.
@jerzgirl (9291)
• United States
12 Dec 08
She's in a lot of pain, Paula. I wish they had kept her, but I have a feeling they didn't have beds available and couldn't justify pain management as a reason to keep her. But, I'll be calling her case manager and her doctor today to see if 1) we can get an aide short term to help bathe her while she's restricted to the wheelchair and 2) we can get another prescription to back up the Percocet when they're done. They're not going to last the weekend, and the doctor won't be there on the weekend. I know they won't give her Percocet again, but maybe there's something else that can help take the edge off that's less potent. She just hurts so bad. She is sleeping in her wheelchair and I'm on the couch next to her.
@AmbiePam (92789)
• United States
12 Dec 08
What a bad way to end a great day! I'm glad that she still has that positive spirit. Poor thing! The ice is hard for anyone to navigate, but all the worse for people with delicate bones. I'm glad that she has such a good memory to think about, even if the pain is there too. I'll say a prayer for her, and you.
@Wyldrose (1216)
• United States
12 Dec 08
What a wonderful long life your mother has had!!! Wow...92 years old!!! I'm so glad she had such a wonderful birthday and am so sorry it had to end the way it did. It sounds like she is still in good spirits despite her bad luck.. I will say a prayer for her and hopefully she will make a full recovery and will back on her feet in no time!!! God bless her and your family. 
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
12 Dec 08
i am so sorry that your mother has fallen but it sounds as if she is making the best of it! I hope that she recovers swiftly! Good Luck to her and you! Happy Holidays as Well!
My fiance's grandpa fell a few weeks ago, and broke his hip. He's doing fine, but I know that he was in a lot of pain.
Again Good Luck!
@SaintAnne (5453)
• United States
11 Dec 08
Sending "all of the above" your way, jerzgirl.
I think your mom will definitely remember this birthday.
Take care of her and yourself too, jerzgirl. Times will be trying as you said so remember to take a break every now and then too.
