life ,i don't how to describe you?

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my heart ,my soul,my life.i don't want to live in this society .can i end my life,i alwys ask myself.mayby i can.in my deep herat,i don't know what to say.sometimes i want to pursue my dream,but it's really tough.oh life,do you hear me,you should know in my heart,i don't blieve god and something don't exist.maybe i am the god.