How sensitive should a man be?
By Sheepie
@Sheepie (3112)
United States
December 14, 2008 6:16pm CST
I'm mostly asked the girls here, anyway. Can a man be too sensitive? Do you think a man should be all man and no emotion?
I don't know if you have heard, but for the past decade or maybe a little less, there has been a trend called "Emo." I don't know how to describe it, because there are so many definitions. I think a few teenagers would be very, deeply offended just because I used the word trend. What is it, a lifestyle?
I don't know. But the guys who are into this sort of thing wear really tight pants, eyeliner, and such. They don't lift weights like other guys and they are normally skinny. Well anyway, they're very sensitive and they supposedly cry, and some cut their wrists. I'm not saying this is my opinion of them, this is just what I hear. But they're very unmanly, basically. This is what a lot of girls like now.
I think a guy should be able to talk about his emotions with people he is really really comfortable with, but I think it's just nature that most guys aren't really emotional by nature. A man has to have passion, though.
What do you think?
4 people like this
17 responses
@grandpa_lash (5225)
• Australia
15 Dec 08
This sort of fake effeminacy has often been a part of human social trends. I think og the 19th century European "dandies", who were very fashion conscious, put on fake airs of effeminacy, and yet still fought at Waterloo and duelled with people when necessary, and attended the boxing "salons". I don't know much about the current trend, not only because of my age but because I have no interest whatsoever in popular culture and live in a tiny rural town, but some elements of it sound similar. There are other lements you mention that probably don't fir.
Lash
1 person likes this
@tamarafireheart (15384)
•
15 Dec 08
Hi Sheepie,
lots of men today are very sensitive and that is only natural, it is better for men to show their emotions because it shows they care and feel, there is nothing unmamly in men showing their emotions.
Tamara
1 person likes this
@palonghorn (5479)
• United States
15 Dec 08
first off i agree with you, it's just another trend/fad. a man can be sensitive without going off the deep end, and that emo stuff is way over the deep end. i don't, nor have i ever had a problem with a grown man crying. it does not make him any less of a man, if anything it shows he is human.
@guybrush (4658)
• Australia
15 Dec 08
Personally, I like men to be men. By that, I mean all this primping and preening makes me a bit squeamish. One of my sons-in-law even waxes his chest - I find that a bit creepy. I'm not saying men shouldn't be clean and neat, but I'd be a bit put off if I was married to someone who spent hours with the face cream and hair products. Crying is fine for anyone, but I'm from 'stiff upper lip' British stock and we don't show our emotions in public.
@TrayBlaylock (630)
• United States
15 Dec 08
Waxing chests! Rofl. Awesome reply. I didn't think about this aspect of the conversation. I guess it is good for a man to be a man when the time is right. Being too emotional might sideline this portion of a man.
@TrayBlaylock (630)
• United States
15 Dec 08
I believe it's often the case where a man is not sensitive enough. You might be too sensitive if your crying because the sunset is so beautiful. That might be a problem but these days, it's considered weak to be emotionally sensitive. Don't be afraid to show your feelings and have a nice cry every now and then. It's healthy!
@SueD823 (371)
• United States
15 Dec 08
I don't think that is too sensitive, in my opinion, when the beauty of nature, the beauty of a baby, or things of that nature bring a tear to your eye. I think it shows that we are all human and that we can experience emotion. I personally hate to hear men, or women, excuse themselves when they cry, as if it's a bad thing. If you feel it, let it go!
@kristaaa (77)
• United States
15 Dec 08
I don't think of those guys as emo. I like to see them as being scene. Which has a similar look as emo, but not the same reputation. Tight pants, not into sports or working out, black hair. It's not about being emotional or wanting attention. They just don't care what other people think, and I think that's very cool. Which is why I also tend to go for those guys. Don't get me wrong, I also like the guys who wear the Hollister, or are the football star. But to me, they seem to be more shallow. I find the "scene" guys more nice and/or welcoming :] even though some might see them as scary looking. I think it's a reason why girls are finding them more attractive. They are simply, nice :)
@angelface23 (2494)
• United States
15 Dec 08
My ex used to cry all the time. it was really uncomfortable for me to witness. I think it's okay for a guy to cry but he did it way too much. He wasn't always like that but then he started and I hear he still does.
@sharra1 (6340)
• Australia
15 Dec 08
This sounds like fake emotions to me, all acting. I like men to be men but that does not mean they cannot be aware of their feelings. There is much more than two extremes.
I do not understand why a man cannot be strong, masculine etc and still be aware of his feelings and other peoples. I have no interest in men who refuse to understand feelings but it can be hard for them to deal with erratic emotions at times.
@Gesusdid (1676)
• United States
15 Dec 08
if a woman likes theyre man to be super sensitive then thats them , i kno for my sake im not , i might become a bit touched if i see a serious flim or two , but not bawiling on the floor crying my heart out ..or wearing eyeliner n tight jeans no no nooooo, not me never was my style , ..i think some women just want different type of men every now and again , they know what they want
@celticeagle (166976)
• Boise, Idaho
15 Dec 08
I totally agree with what you have said. I think this "Emo" trend is sort of creepy. Men are not real big on broadcasting their feeling because of a manly characteristic called ego. Alot of they feel that showing their feelings makes them seem whimpy. Now, to me, a real man is one that is responsible and acts masculine not feminine. A mature man can talk about his emotions. Immature men seem to not know their emotions and run from the real and true feelings they may be having. Some men are very emotional and others are not. Like the Capricorn I am dealing with right now. Doesn't seem to have any emotions what so ever. Yet he is very manly.
@SueD823 (371)
• United States
15 Dec 08
From what my teenage daughters tell me, the "Emo" trend is out, at least in my neck of the woods. But for what it's worth, the trend is seemingly still here, it just has a different name. I think these teenagers that are members of this type of group or any group are just searching for belonging. I'd much rather have an Emo son than a gang banger, minus the wrist cutting. It's a fad, as you said. I don't see anyone in their 20's dressed this way. It's something the high schoolers are into from what I see.
And from my other comments on this topic, you can already see that I am all for men showing their emotions. I love your comment about the "weenie boy". ROFL. Of course that is a bit much. But men being emotional is not a problem for me at all. I know my husband is masculine AND human; one because he is a man, and the other because he isn't afraid to cry.
Great topic!
@firefox0100 (47)
• United States
15 Dec 08
Really tight pants, eyeliner, weight conscious and cut their wrist. I don't know you tell me. This is way past being to emotional and I don't know what the h$ll it is. I know girls who think guys who wear skinny jeans are gay and pants riding on your legs looking like you wanna trip is a turn off. I don't think the girls that I know would go for guys like them. And according to Jayz 'I don't wear skinny jeans cause my .... don't fit'. I don't know what happened to our men, and I don't like wear they're heading.
@jammyt (2818)
• Philippines
15 Dec 08
I do not generalize men on their sensitivity. HOWEVER, MOST men are insensitive to the feelings of others. They do not stop and think of how others would feel or hate to see women cry and think that women cry for the most absurd ideas.There are some, though, who are sensitive enough to understand what women are going through and would give their support. Sometimes, it is also how a man was brought up. 
@Manojknair (603)
• India
15 Dec 08
Hi Friend, I believe that we should follow and listen to your mind. We should not get carried away with what others thinking or what others feel. I believe that we should be able to justify our sense and should not do anything wrong. If the situation require you to be harsh then never mind. After all its your life and you are the master of it.
@mdavis6565 (16)
• United States
15 Dec 08
When I was a child my emotional sensitivity created problems in my life because combined with my awkward nature I got picked on a lot and could not deal with it too well. In my teenage years I grew to be colder (not in a mean sense) so that I could handle myself socially. As a cooping mechanism this built on itself to the point I am at today where I am not very sensitive at all. My entire thinking revolves around rational deduction and I have no idea what emotional state I am in. Some social workers have suggested that this may be a problem and I may start therapy to deal with it; however, at least I can say I am who I am because of what life has taught me and not because I am chasing some stupid fad in order to fit in.
