Are you the Caretaker for your "loved ones" Graves, do you decorate for Xmas?
@dreamweaverjan (3471)
United States
December 17, 2008 8:42am CST
I have four graves that I personally decorate and take care of year around;
The two most important ones to me are My Mother's Grave & My Brother's Grave, but I also take care of her Sister's & My Grand Parents, ( their parents);
I change them out too in spring time, Taking care of that many graves is expensive
and flowers only last so long or get blown away in nasty weather;
My Father does help out with the cost of so many graves, but my biggest gripe
is I have an older "brother" who is quite well off, and has yet to help pay
for one stinking real flower or fake to be put on Our Mother's or deceased Brother's
graves and that makes me so "mental" you've no idea, in fact I'm not sure he even
knows how to find the graves, he might but I have to wonder I bet I could count
on one hand the few times he's visited, and still have several fingers left over;
Yeah I'm being negative, can't help it! This time of year when the holidays come
and go and we are missing our loved ones, its just hard to be "pleasant" all the time
in fact I will be oh so happy when its all over and done with;
Its so much stress during this time, ( in my family) hopefully not everyone else's
but even after all of these years it gets no easier, the hurt of missing our
loved ones is still there and its just hard its very very hard;
I have several other photo's if you'd like to see in my photo section and once
again on my profile I've created another slideshow to see of the Graves, I am
a picture taking nut mostly because too I send out shots to other family members
so they can see the graves decorated this time of year...
do any of them send me a $1.00 or two?? NOOOoooooo!! tight wads all of them!
sorry to be so "bah-hum_bugish" but that loneliness/depression of missing them
is just more than I can bear some days and right now this very minute is one of them; (sigh)!!! 
so do you decorate your loved ones graves?? How many do you tend for?
I also help out with my Father's family deceased members but they are too far
away and I only "maybe" get to go there once a year? if that, we send money
to those that live there closer to keep them decorated too; Big families
means lots of graves ya know?
so do you decorate your loved ones graves?? How many do you tend for?
I also help out with my Father's family deceased members but they are too far
away and I only "maybe" get to go there once a year? if that, we send money
to those that live there closer to keep them decorated too; Big families
means lots of graves ya know?3 people like this
7 responses
@cynthiann (18602)
• Jamaica
17 Dec 08
My mother found great comfort in caring for the grave of her mother. When I go to the U.K. I do visit the grave of my father. he wa buried alongside his father and mother. My mother wanted to be cremated and her shes are buried at the foot of a flowering tree in my sister;s house. This is what she wanted to be done.
The graves in your photo are beautifully decorated and it is right that we think of our loved ones at special times of the year. They deserve to be respected. You are a good person. Blessings
1 person likes this
@dreamweaverjan (3471)
• United States
17 Dec 08
HI Cynthiann: Thank you! I know we go over board really on the Christmas decorations but My Brother just loved this time of year and so did my Mom really;
I take the Big wreaths down after the new year, as the winter weather gets way
worse and I don't want anything to happen those big ones...those would be hard
to replace as my Dad's health is no longer able to do any kind of welding and so on;
I'd really be upset to lose those iron wreath holders he made;
Wow! I didn't realize you had loved ones so very far away from you. I'm not sure
how I'd handle that one not being able to visit the graves as often as I do but
then its so easy for me as they are right here in the same town you know?
I know their "spirit" is not there but "they" are there in the ground, you know?
I just don't think I'd be able to handle that being so far from them, but if you are
what can you do right? Just do your best and keep them all in our hearts right?
That's lovely that your Mom's ashes are buried at your Sister's house, I bet that
flowering tree just puts out so many beautiful flowers, what kind is it? LIke a Dogwood or something?? I bet its beautiful!
Thanks for sharing ..
I meant to say thanks for everyone sharing darn it!
THANK YOU EVERYONE !!![i][/i][u][/u]
1 person likes this
@dreamweaverjan (3471)
• United States
18 Dec 08
OH Cynthiann: Your husband is gone and 5 miscarriages?? Oh my Goodness girl
I wish I could just reach out and hug you...I am so so sorry.. Wow!!
well just know that those little ones will be there waiting for you when your time comes ok?
Blessings and hugs and anything else I can think of..
1 person likes this
@cynthiann (18602)
• Jamaica
17 Dec 08
yes, every year my sistee emails me photos of the tree that is in flower - but for the moment I cannot remember the name. Remember, that they are in a perfect place and are also in perfect happiness. They are also praying for you. I take comfort in the thought that my husband is in heaven with the five babies that I miscarried. They are all together loving each other.
My husband was also cremated according to his wishes and when I felt strong enough his ashes were scattered by plane over our farm and river. This is what he wanted.Blessings
1 person likes this
@ElicBxn (63594)
• United States
17 Dec 08
When my sister was in NJ this summer she took some flowers over and put them on our grandparent's, great-aunts and aunt's head stones.
From the looks, someone is going over and mowing, but most of the family isn't getting any younger so I guess that when they age out, there may not be anything else done.
My dad donated his body to science and that's what my mom plans to do. I have been by to see my former roommate's mother's grave, actually, I've been by more often then she has.
When my uncle lived in NJ he used to mow, and Pop did it before him. I don't know who's doing it now, maybe one of the cousins from one of Pop's sibs. I just don't know the family that well, since we moved down here when I was 2.
1 person likes this
@dreamweaverjan (3471)
• United States
17 Dec 08
Hi {{Elic}} Yeah its harder to do when you don't really live close to the cemetery and family is scattered over from place to place: The cemetery here here does a really good job of mowing and keeping it nice, I wish they allowed us to plant
things by the headstones but they dont' I'd love to plant a rose bush or just about
any flowering bush there but they don't allow that; which is fine all the stones
are flat so that they can mow easily;
That's really nice of you to vist your former roommates mother's grave how very very very nice of you;
I could never keep up with all the other family members on my Dads side they lived way down south here in Missouri, out in the "sticks" LOL! Those cemetery's are
really in bad shape; The kind you see in movies more or less;
2 people like this
@mimitherat (309)
• Canada
18 Dec 08
it would be very difficult for me to decorate the graves of my father, my mother and my son, cause all off them are burried in different city, father in holland, mother in cabano a small town in the province of quebec, and my son is vancouver, and I live in montral, so you see that is very impossible to do.
@dreamweaverjan (3471)
• United States
18 Dec 08
Hi Mimitherat: Mercy me, you are worldwide with your loved ones, well that's ok;
Yes it would be very difficult in your situation ; I love your avatar, very pretty!
@dreamweaverjan (3471)
• United States
18 Dec 08
Mimi: I just requested you as a friend I wanted to leave some comments on
your beautiful photo's, but of course we have to be friends first (G)! 
But looking at some of your photo's Oh my Word, they are just stunning!!!
But looking at some of your photo's Oh my Word, they are just stunning!!!
@winterose (39887)
• Canada
17 Dec 08
no I have never decorated graves, the graveyard is just too far from me and I don't have a car,
@dreamweaverjan (3471)
• United States
18 Dec 08
Hi Rose: Well that's understandable, I'd be in the same boat if they cemetery was
not right here in town where I live;
1 person likes this
@barehugs (8973)
• Canada
17 Dec 08
I have quite a number of "loved ones" who's remains have been interred in the local cemetery, However I never go near that burial Ground. The reason being~ I know in my Heart that my relatives do not reside in the ground under those carved Stones. Please understand that I am not a Christian ( which may explain why I believe as I do) but I just know that My relatives are in a better place, and would not be happy under those silly stones.
1 person likes this
@dreamweaverjan (3471)
• United States
17 Dec 08
Hi barehugs: That's ok not a problem!! I know many are not Christains,
that's cool! I know my loved are in a much better place too, no more pain, no more
sickness, and happy, sounds all good to me;
Burials have gotten so crazy high like everything else, when my time comes
they may just have to kick me to the gutter, don't know how mine will be paid??
the plot at the cemetery is paid for but nothing else is;
Thanks for stopping by;
1 person likes this
@CatsandDogs (13963)
• United States
17 Dec 08
Hi dreamweaverjan.... I saw your photos of the graves, you do a right nice job with decorating them! It really shows how much you care!! All of them are looking down upon you with so much love and gratitude that you do this for them!! Now I've got a question, does your brother have any idea how much you're spending every year? Maybe he's oblivious to it and if you brought it to his attention, he might want to help out. I could be wrong because it's the same with me and my brothers. Even when bringing it to their attention that our parents need help, they don't do much of anything and then take such extravagent trips. It makes me so ill to my stomach but at least I tried to let them know. One can only do what you can do and that's it. If your brother won't help, have you considered using artificial flowers? That way you could take them home and put others up at different times and holidays. They're so much cheaper than real flowers.
When I was closer to my home town, I had put things on my grandparents and late fiance's graves but now that I'm so far away, I don't do anything but I know my aunt probably does and my late fiance's family probably still do but I can't say for sure.
@tyc415 (5706)
• United States
17 Dec 08
I would love to be able to go and decorate the graves of my parents. They were divorced and are each in their own places with their parents. The two cemeteries are less than a couple miles apart in the country but they are around 500 miles away from me. When I did live up there though I would change flowers out and just go visit the graves.
@dreamweaverjan (3471)
• United States
17 Dec 08
HI {{TYC}} Wow! yeah 500 miles is a long ways to go; If that was my case I'd
never be able to get there but you know they are in our hearts and thoughts;
I'll keep decorating the graves here so long as I am able to physically and able
to buy flowers when needed;
thanks for sharing!
1 person likes this
