Would you meet someone you spoke to on the net
By ronnyb
@ronnyb (6113)
Jamaica
December 18, 2008 1:20pm CST
The story behind this question is that I have been talking to this young lady on the internet. We met through a social networking site and we started talking on this site ,then later through yahoo messenger and eventually on our phones .Now she seems like a nice young lady and I am a nice man (and I am tooting my own horn here ,most persons agree ) but she adamantly refuses to break he policy of not meeting persons she met on the net. I admit there are wackos and sickos out there and many are like wolves in sheep's clothing but I am thinking the natural evolution of our relationship should be ,internet ,yahoo messenger , phone conversations ,then personal contact.
I mean we basically know everything about each other. We know our likes ,dislikes ,intimate details, work location and addresses (at least the areas).I mean I could just show up at her workplace and wait for her but that is not my style ,furthermore there could be criminal implications for doing that (stalking I believe they call it )and worse Iit is not my style to go against someone explicit wishes.
What do you think about such a situation, could it be that she has been lying all along ,maybe she is married with two kids and a dog, may be she is crazy, maybe she is compulsive liar who likes to make up stories, maybe she is a serial killer and I ma safer not knowing her and maybe she doesn’t care at all.
What is your take on the situation ?
5 people like this
22 responses
@ChandosField (18)
• United States
18 Dec 08
First of all, this woman knows more about you than any man she would ever talk to or meet in a bar, restaurant or any other type of public place.
You are actually more "safe" because she has had previous contact with you and isn't just "any Joe off the street."
I think if she is refusing to meet you face to face that there has to be another reason outside her "it's not my policy." That's crap.
You run into countless people out on the street, in public establishments, etc. Meeting you in a public place is just as safe as meeting anyone else.
3 people like this
@ChandosField (18)
• United States
18 Dec 08
Oh, and by the way...I met my current partner online and we have been together over a year now.
2 people like this
@Amber4106 (540)
• United States
19 Dec 08
I think that if you've been comfortable enough to talk to each other over the phone, and that went well, you should go for it. There are a couple of people around my community that met their spouses online, and are still happy and going strong. As long as you are both on the same page about meeting, I think that it's worth a shot.
2 people like this
@cyberfluf (4996)
• Netherlands
27 Dec 08
It might not be anything personal, meeting someone over the internet is scary.
I have met someone over the internet too, not with the intention of getting to know each other better but I replied to an add of a girl looking for certain clubbing shoes. We got to talk via e-mail and we found out we were going out in the same area and sometimes the same club. We both have a boyfriend but we were interested in meeting up to see if we would get along, just as friends.
I think that is a difference too; if you are meeting up because you might want to start dating or because you think there might be a possibility of a friendship.
We met in a club, and I thought that would be a good place because it is very public. It feels saver than at someones home. It was really nice and we have had a friendly contact ever since. If she is scared of meeting up with just you, take along a friend. I took along my boyfriend and she took hers; or make it a double date. There are multiple ways of going at it.
If you both like each other there must be some way of meeting up. If she really doesn't want to, I would think about how you want to pursue this contact. It can be heartbreaking if you grow feelings that aren't responded to.
And last but not least (I know you are aware) but be carefull when meeting up 
.
.
@gemini_rose (16264)
•
27 Dec 08
I would never meet up with anyone off the net either, I would talk to them online etc but would never put myself in that position of meeting someone. I mean I am married so I would not anyway but I do talk to people and I always tell them I am married, not that it seems to make much difference they still want to meet me. I would just be too wary.
1 person likes this
@netmom27 (51)
• United States
18 Dec 08
My youngest daughter (now 30) met her husband on the internet. She was chatting in a chat room with a sailor. After chatting with him for awhile, she decided that it was ok to meet him. So she met him at Union Station in Chicago and she took a friend with her and told me where she was going to be and that she would call me shortly after she met him...just in case he was a serial killer. She married him a year later and has been happily married for almost 9 years.
A friend of mine met someone online and married him about 13 years ago and has been happily married ever since.
Another friend went online to Match.com and met someone within 3 months. She dated him for about a year and a half and married him about a month ago.
All 3 guys turned out to be great.
2 people like this
@Frederick42 (2024)
• Canada
21 Dec 08
Yes, I would though it is bit risky. But it is also an adventure and I like adventures.
1 person likes this
@cripfemme (7698)
• United States
19 Dec 08
I did. Actually, I went out with them for a few months after I met them. We met at a conference for disabled young people and had been friends on a list serve before then. Strangely, we didn't know that the other person was going to be at the conference. I also, sorry to say, didn't know she was as emotionally unstable as she was or I would not have gone out with her in the first place. That's my internet meeting story.
1 person likes this
@idowrite72 (2213)
• United States
10 Jan 09
I think it is just very difficult for some to go beyond the intenet to meet someone they have talked to. There are so many who would tell her that she is wrong and that she might be hurt or something might happen. I was there and know exactly what she is going through, but decided that meeting the man was more important and I was so glad that I did. I did make some mistakes in meeting some of the men that I did, but the very first was a gem and I did the right thing, even if things didn't work out for a number of reasons. There has to be something that is keeping her from you and I'm sure she doesn't hold anything against YOU for whatever it is. It is just a difficult thing for most people to do. Keep talking to her and be happy with what you have and maybe one day things will change and you will be able to meet her. I know that most of those who want to meet me have no business wanting to after I've talked to them for a long while. But don't go against what you are feeling and just be happy with what you have with her and hope that things will one day work out for you both. I do wish you luck since it seems you are honest and steadfast in what you are feeling.
@ronnyb (6113)
• Jamaica
10 Jan 09
I know its difficult but I guess I just hoped that we had gone past that and she had come to trust me since we had been talking for so long .However like yousaid I will persist and continue to talk to her for as long as I possibly can.Thank you for your answer
@cobrateacher (8432)
• United States
18 Dec 08
Having had a good relationship onnline would make me anxious to meet the person. We do tend to feel as if we know one another well after we've exchanged posts many times. Why not go beyond that?
I would want to make sure we met in a very, very public place, just in case the person presented a persona that wasn't quite accurate. Being careful is a must these days.
Best of luck!
1 person likes this
@Annmac (949)
•
19 Dec 08
The problem as you say is that there are weirdos out there and it's not usually a good idea to put yourself in a vunerable situation (especially for young girls)
She could be one herself, and yes she could be lying, just as you could.
However if you really like her perhaps you could suggest meeting her and a girlfriend or two in a public place. Somewhere where she feels secure and where there are plenty of other people. If she still doesn't want to, then perhaps she's not being as honest and open as she appears.
For your sake I hope she has been truthful and that you can resolve this issue. Good Luck!
1 person likes this
@tanstar (59)
• China
21 Dec 08
i met several net friends when i was in the college,it was fun.but after working, i suddenly get tired of it and feel boring, in fact, nothing happened, just maybe the change of my mood or my age or something, who knows.
what's wrong with me? become a much more monotonous person now
1 person likes this
@suzzy3 (8341)
•
18 Dec 08
Hi If she is really just nervous ask her to bring a friend with her ,so she does not feel so vunerable,but you could be right she could be married or in a relationship,I don't think meeting someone on the internet is such a good idea really.I am sorry but why don't you go throung a singles agency where they check out the people who are on their books.There are certains safeguards just be careful.merry christmas .suzzy
@thecrazyjogger (3178)
• India
18 Dec 08
yeah i would and i have
but after readin wht u all wrote up there i thnk that she may have a reason for her blant refusal to meet u
ask her if there isa reason
or just tell her to come to some public place! liek an amusement park or someplace with tons of plp
and tell her to come with afriend or somone
and u too! dont go aloen
hope i hlped!
happy lotting and have a nice day!
@j47lee (740)
• Canada
18 Dec 08
yup... but depends on how long i know him/her...... i met quite a few of my frens.. wen i went to hongkong.... i met one of my online frens there... then when i went to singapore .. i also met one of my chat frens there.. also wen they came to calcutta... we took them to have dinner......
1 person likes this
@lilliesofthebreeze2 (96)
• United States
19 Dec 08
Have you ever seen her face and body together? Thats always my fear of meeting someone online. And then meeting them and they don't look like their pictures. I will tell you, there are many weird people online these days,people that pretend to be someone that they are not.
But, I met someone wonderful online and we have been living together for 5 years now.
So there is a happy ending for some.
Take care and be careful.
Merry Christmas too.
@SusanShayAvon (1003)
• United States
10 Jan 09
Well it is a difficult situation. I would be a little skeptical of meeting someone off the internet. You said that you know everything about each other which I understand that you may have been 100% completely honest with this woman. She could have so many skeletons in her closet. It could be very dangereous and the again she may have been 100% completely honest with you but she may fear what could possibly happen if something went wrong. She could just be scared. And it may be that she has been lying. She could have 15 kids and tell you that she does not have any. There is no telling. If I talked to people on the internet I do not think I could ever meet them in person. Even though I would be 100% honest I would never be 100% convinced that it would be safe. You have to realize that to most women it is more riskier for them than it would be for a man. Have you ever heard that song by Brad Paisley "Online"? I just thought of that. If you don't mind how long have yall been talking? Maybe if you offer for her to bring 5 or 6 friends and meet in a very public place it would help. Or you might could tell her to bring her parents. This is just suggestions that might help if you really want to meet her. And only offer her to bring people if you are comfortable with that but it might help. Then if she feels comfortable she might want to meet again and it might make her feel safer. I will be quiet for now.
@playmateshorty (365)
• United States
19 Dec 08
Wow, deep discussion. Im not sure i would, alot of crazies out there in this world.
Maybe with a friend or a group of people, and id never be alone with them.
@quinstessa (218)
• China
19 Dec 08
well, it is up to you, no one can make such a disscion for you.
you like her, at least it seems to me so, then why not?
waht are you conncening about?
whay are you stay here?
a nice day!!
@celebratelifeh (1142)
• China
19 Dec 08
perhaps i will i think. though i haven't yet till now, but i have one good friends on the net since 3 years ago. sometimes i really want to meed her to check my imagation toward her. does she tall or low? pretty or not. haha~ as someone said, it's another way of party, it don't against me i think.
