Who is always the first to say "I am Sorry"?.
By Curlann
@annierose (21583)
Philippines
December 18, 2008 10:43pm CST
It is unavoidable for lovers to have misunderstanding and quarrels once in a while in the relationship. It is most common especially if there is not enough time to communicate with your partner.Life sometimes becomes busy and by this some conflicts may arise.
My boyfriend and I had experienced so many ups and downs. And I know, there will be more challenges that will come to both of us that may test our love for each other. We have a long distance relationship. He is in America and I am here in the Philippines.He had been so busy with work in their country while I am looking for an opportunity to find a work here in mine. He is more busy than mine and I can say that because I have more time, I demand a lot of his time. I can say that I am being childish sometimes. Because of that, we got misunderstandings. But even though we had that, I can say that neither of us can allow a day to pass by ignoring each other. I will then realized that I am wrong and will say to him "I am sorry". Then, he will say same words also. He is telling me that he is a bad boyfriend because of not finding time to talk to me. But I feel so guilty and will reply that I am the bad one.After that we will be okay again.Both of us will try to find a solution to the problem. There are so many instances that sometimes he will be the one to first say sorry and sometimes I will be the one to initiate it.
How about in your relationship with your bf/gf or husband/wife? Who initiate saying I am sorry?
1 person likes this
21 responses
@12345OK (5)
• China
20 Dec 08
hello!
my long distance love has just end. i and my boyfriend still in the same city now.
Because i am have a bad temper. so he always the person who say sorry.
I think tolerance is very important in communication. you and him have a good relation.
May you both be happy!
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (166913)
• Boise, Idaho
19 Dec 08
UGH! I thought my long distance relationship was bad. He is in Florida and I am in Idaho (northern and southern). I have no real positive advice for you. LD relationships are the pits. I don't say I am sorry anymore. There is usually something else going on beside being sorry. Lonely, missing him,needing to talk and saying the stupid stuff, and wanting to be close. Usually one of those. Sad, pathetic and realistic. Talking about those will get you further than 'I am sorry'.
@annierose (21583)
• Philippines
21 Dec 08
Its sad to hear that you had a bad relationship. Hope that everything will be okay soon. Happy mylotting.
@playmateshorty (365)
• United States
19 Dec 08
if im the one being a "butt", as my boy friend calls me, then ill say sorry. i dont have a hard time admitting when im in the wrong and if i hurt his feelings ill say sorry, because he is truly the last person id want to hurt.
@annierose (21583)
• Philippines
21 Dec 08
I love my boyfriend and I understand what you said on the last line. As much as possible I do not want to hurt him too.
@smiley83 (1534)
• Malaysia
19 Dec 08
gosh!!!
we are almost dealing with the same situation!
my guy and i having long distance relationship...although we both come from the same country, but i'm studying here in Malaysia and he is back there... he is 6 years older than me, and yeah he is soooo busy with work, and i'm busy with school.. so, we don't find great time to talk...almost done with emails, but i'm the one who handle most of the talks in fact...our relation is cool but we only get angry due to silly stuff like: (i'm the one who is emailing u, why u never reply? or are u really busy or just ignoring me, or bla blah blah blah)
it is just that, i sometimes feel sad or alone and missing him when i see my other friends here hanging together with their boys...but, we do apologize and we are actually great couple if i keep calm and stop bothering him with such stuff...
smiley,
@annierose (21583)
• Philippines
21 Dec 08
I got envy to some of my friends do who is hanging out together with their boyfriend. How I wish my boyfriend is here also.
@cathya (704)
• Philippines
19 Dec 08
It is natural in a relationship that both parties may commit mistake.
On my experience, saying sorry depends on who had the mistake or who starts the arguments. If its me who starts the argument then its me the first say sorry if its him then I'll wait for him to say sorry LOL
@annierose (21583)
• Philippines
21 Dec 08
Yes, I agree. Majority of the people replied same.Happy mylotting 
@Victoria7 (1240)
• Spain
19 Dec 08
I usually feel sorry first but am too pig-headed to say it! Usually my partner says it then I say "I'm sorry too" - I guess it's in case I apologise and he doesn't accept it or something. But then we hardly ever argue, maybe twice a year, so it doesn't happen a lot.
@zhizhong07 (674)
• Singapore
20 Dec 08
i believe the one who is in the wrong should initiate the apologize but there is always a point that both are in the wrong, that is when guys should take the lead and show what a gentle man should do
@hatimyal (1516)
• India
19 Dec 08
Lol good too see that m not the only one suffering from my long distance relationship. hehehe.
so i guess the saying is true that you are never alone :P.
anyways in my realtionship i m the one who says sorry most of the time. i mean almost 90% of the time, even if she is wrong, i just dont like hearing sorry from her, and i just dnt feel bad that i ahd to say sorry even if she is wrong, i love her morer than anything in this world.
lets hope this long distance thing get short in the future. :P
@walijo2008 (4644)
• United States
19 Dec 08
Fortunately we don't hardly fight, if we ever do, its usually my fault, and its so hard for me to say I'm sorry, because I don't want to admit I was wrong..ha. A long distance relationship is hard to do, I don't think I could do it, I would miss the other person too much.
@aisaellis22 (6445)
• United States
20 Dec 08
Hello annierose! We have the same situation as mine. My husband is away from me. He is from Florida and I am here in the Philippines. Arguments is unavoidable sometimes. Like you, he is very busy with this two jobs while I only stay at home to wait for his pettition. I also try to ask for his time sometimes that I got upset when the time he gave is not enough for me. Actually, I didn't tell him about it, when I feel bad, I just talk to him and ignore him, that there is one time when I did not talk to him while we chatted. He called my phone but I didn't answer too. I know I am mean because he did not even know why I ignored him. At the end, I will then confront him and he will say sorry to me. What I hate is that when I want to argue with him, he will only say sorry eventhough sometimes it's my fault. You know the feeling that you really are angry and you want to confront him but he will just say he admit it's his fault? But I know he is just trying to avoid us to fight and he is afraid I won't talk to him forever
. Well the bottomline is, he is the one who said I am sorry. He will say sorry if he hurt me unintentionally sometimes.
. Well the bottomline is, he is the one who said I am sorry. He will say sorry if he hurt me unintentionally sometimes.
@miamhae (339)
• Philippines
19 Dec 08
Well, I do experience as same as you, but the different is we are in same country and I'm not able to be with him every weekend, we just saw each other twice a month, and I so childish too, I always wanted him to greet me every morning, and call him every time I'm in break, and I feel his annoying sometimes, so I said sorry for disturb him in his work and sometimes in his sleep...We don't have a big arguing from now, just when he didn't able to came in our meeting place because he has a emergency meeting and other one is when he didn't pick me up in my place instead he send taxi to take me...all of that he apologize for that.... But in my past relationship I always say sorry even the problem are starting from my bf, I can't sleep until I didn't solve the problem between us.
@Llonorra22 (1150)
• Philippines
20 Dec 08
I can't really remember now because it's more than two years since I had my last relationship. But it doesn't matter who will initiate it first. What matters is that you take time and effort to arrange your conflicts. Besides it really takes two to tango. Right? Happy posting!
@icequeen123 (934)
•
19 Dec 08
It is good to hear that you both acknowledge each other's feelings and needs. I think it is important for us to say we are sorry, we are only human and we are not perfect, so there are bound to be ups and downs in any relationship.
I never used to be very good at saying sorry, but my husband is a lovely man who is humble enough to admit when he is in the wrong, or has made a mistake. This has helped me to be better at saying sorry. Now we both tend to say sorry even when one of us may not be in the wrong. It helps to keep our relationship strong.
I am sorry for you that you are separated by distance, it must be very difficult at times. Keep up the hard work, the love is worth it.
@pandapig8 (362)
• Philippines
19 Dec 08
I think that people in relationships should understand each other with regardds to how they go about through life... In relationships, saying I'm sorry shouldn't have a factor of who is right or wrong but instead...both parties should admit their faults and move on because if one is going to be stubborn then the problem won't be solved at all right? woah! haha! I feel like a consultant! you're the second person I've given advice to today! haha!
@hibiscus_mel (719)
• United States
19 Dec 08
I hate it and I admit that I don't say sorry to my husband when we have misunderstanding. Most of the time if I don't like what he tells me and I'm really mad about it I just shut up and hold back. I don't talk to him for hours or a day or two but when I'm okay I talk to him but I never say sorry. He knew that is my weakness. I am glad that he always has understood and gives me space and time to keep quiet. When I'm okay he will ask me what has kept me quiet and most of the time he is the one sorry about it.
@busymom312 (122)
• United States
19 Dec 08
I really think it is about evenly split between my husband and me. When we were first married I think I apologized first (but that was more on my part than his-I found myself saying "I'm sorry" for things that really didn't need forgiving). He is a wonderful man, who knows that neither of us are perfect. When we were going through premarital counseling the pastor emphasized how important communication is in a marriage. And we both learned a lot that has made our marriage stronger. I guess we are both growing in that way.
@sheetalg87 (15)
• India
19 Dec 08
I am committed for more than 5 years now and our relationship is still the same- full of love, committment, respect, trust. Still we respect each other's views, commitments (to work etc- we both are working). Similar to yours, even we end up fighting on petty issues like not giving time to each other or calling up etc. but at the end we can't live without each other and that's why either of us say 'sorry'.
It really doesn't matter that whos says it first right? even you would agree on this. It's really great that even if yours is a long distance relationship, your two seem to be very much in love. from what you say, he apologises for not finding time for you, but then it's not his mistake also...and even you agree on this.
the simple reason for you to quarrel even when you know that it's not a fault of either of you is only that you both LOVE EACH OTHER- TRULY...
Have a great relationship.....Best of luck!!
