She was only a fireman's daughter, but boy was she smokin'!!!

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Those are the words that popped into my head a few minutes ago when I went to the kitchen to find it and the dining room filled with smoke because I had left the bacon on too long unattended!! Of course, the smoke detectors didn't go off because I had just put batteries in them and hadn't replaced them on their clips on the walls. And, it's not like my father didn't do something similar or worse, despite his being a volunteer firefighter. He turned on the pot roast one time to heat it up and went back to bed and fell asleep.....with the door closed. By the time he smelled something and remembered turning on the stove, the extreme heat plus time had turned the roast into a single cube of charcoal and the cast aluminum pot into molten lava, not to mention filling every room in the house with greasy smoke that coated whatever it came into contact with as well as causing the cat to be unconscious. Mom and I pulled in the driveway just in time to see the back door open and a pan come flying out with billows of smoke following it. When I offered to call the fire company, I was yelled at to NOT touch the phone. Oh, and as Dad was carrying the melted pot to toss out the door, the liquified aluminum spilled on the indoor-outdoor carpeting in the kitchen, burning that, and providing Dad with a nice neat hole in his foot after he stepped in it. Of course, not only would he not let us call the fire department, but he wouldn't go to the doctor for the hole in his foot. Needless to say, my burnt bacon wasn't as bad as all that. But, I learned a very important lesson this morning. Bacon can actually melt into a black, gooey, tar-like substance if allowed to cook too hot and too long!!! Who knew??? So, what cooking disasters have you had lately??